tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78501427142703927422024-03-05T02:18:02.856-05:00I will sing unto the Lord as long as I live...For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a MIGHTY Savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With His love, He will calm ALL your fears.
He will REJOICE over you with JOYFUL SONGS!
- Zephaniah 3:17 (NLT)Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-36653374170343779312015-06-19T12:37:00.003-04:002015-06-19T13:16:09.048-04:00I offer my heart... #livefreeThursdayHave you ever had a crazy idea? A crazy idea that would involve something that would push you to your limits... be it physically, spiritually, or emotionally? Something you know in your heart of hearts is what you <i>long</i> for, but something your brain just can't comprehend?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Well, I sure have! Especially in the last five-ish years of my young adult life. And every single time, God has proved my brain thinking "Nah, I can't do that" oh so very wrong.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Lately, my crazy idea has involved something I've thought about for a while. As some of you know, when I went to Grad school I finally truly started taking care of myself and my health and got super into "fake jogging," as I refer to it... somewhere between a walk and a run. :) Well, as I started getting better at it, and doing it more often - craving that exercise and time to spend with the Lord (I'm an avid listener to worship music as I fake jog... it's one of the most incredible ways I can just "be" with God) - I started to think that I might like to do some of these races that I see my friends doing. The first hurdle was to sign up for a 2-mile race with my bff, Shaina. Then two weeks later, my first 5K. Another two weeks after that, another 5K w/Shaina (what an amazing friend to let me talk her into these things!). </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I was seemingly obsessed with how I FELT after fake jogging. I felt restored, recharged, rejuvenated, and reconnected to my Father. I started "dreaming big" and thinking about a 10K or a half marathon... and then immediately decided that THAT was a crazy idea. I could never do that! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Or could I? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I had come so far already... I was already much HEALTHIER than I'd been in a long, long time. I felt AMAZING. Could I do more? In my heart I knew I could if I worked my tail off and relied on His strength, but everything around me was screaming "NO way... are you crazy? You can't "run" that much! Better stick to the label of "fake jog" because large girls like you can't ever do something like that." </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And I believed those lies. I let them take root in my heart, and become toxic. And when life got seemingly INSANE this last school year, between the stress, physical and emotional exhaustion, and workload that was far beyond what any one person should be able to handle... I gave up on myself. I was too tired to workout, too tired to eat well because I didn't have enough energy to do so, and it was ok, right? My clothes would fit again soon... my heart would find contentment where I was and be OK with the fact that sometimes life is HARD and clinging to Jesus is just as hard, especially when you are overwhelmed with the lies of the Enemy. After all, everything that was going on in my life was making it excusable that I wasn't taking care of myself, right? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Then one day I realized I had given up. I stopped fighting. I let the Enemy win, and instead of clinging to Jesus, I was clinging to my excuses and exhaustion. I had stopped giving God my heart, and was selfishly locking it up for fear I'd have to take a look in the mirror, a step on the scale, and therefore a real, very sobering look at my own heart.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This was a major wake-up call from God. Was I giving Him my heart? Of course not! So, for a few weeks I battled with this ever-present need for Him and a major CHANGE on my part.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Over the last week, since school's let out, I've been striving to seek Him more in my healthy endeavors... remembering that I AM beautiful, worthy, and loved regardless, but that doesn't give me an excuse to not take care of myself. I started eating better, working out again, and have been getting involved with ItWorks Global! to take back my health! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've even started fake jogging again, and that's when I got this incredibly crazy idea.</div>
<div>
I wanted to sign up for a half marathon.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Now, I know. For those of you that have known me my entire life and watched me throughout my "healthy lifestyle" journey I know you think this idea is literally insane. After all, I'm still considered obese even though I've lost as much weight as I have. After this year, I've gained back 25 pounds and still feel sick over that. I'm not a "runner" by any classification, but fake jogging is something I utterly enjoy regardless.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A HALF MARATHON? Yup, I'm crazy.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
A few months ago, when I was really struggling with my eating and exercising habits, feeling utterly defeated and worthless, I came across this... </div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG4FdtsScweyVxW58mLnKs4Ia0WpUMbrm3nq5aNGl7pPvJWJItSksCyNIXxktSiMpwxsYzJUz07wvVYzP-X2MUdqkHwOURL0VsOiwZM2NI8aT7KiKT5jYOWMAMih64OAv6S1cjZvjTcyJx/s1600/News_Diva+Bling_Large2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="223" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgG4FdtsScweyVxW58mLnKs4Ia0WpUMbrm3nq5aNGl7pPvJWJItSksCyNIXxktSiMpwxsYzJUz07wvVYzP-X2MUdqkHwOURL0VsOiwZM2NI8aT7KiKT5jYOWMAMih64OAv6S1cjZvjTcyJx/s400/News_Diva+Bling_Large2.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.runlikeadiva.com/Events/Divas__Half_Marathon___5K_-_DC_s_Wine_Country.htm" target="_blank">RUN LIKE A DIVA HALF MARATHON</a><br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Now, where I was at that point was in NO WAY, shape, or form to sign up for such an event. But as I looked through the site, and became familiar with the race itself it SCREAMED my name. I mean come on, look at the medal will you? And I get to wear a tutu? And have a personalized bib that says "DIVA-JESSA" ???? AND! When I'm about to cross the finish line, I get to put on a tiara and a boa?<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
HECK. YES. #diva</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
But I couldn't DREAM of fake jogging THIRTEEN MILES. There's no way this still obese large child could do anything of the sort. So I gave up looking at it and went back to my stressed out and quite selfish unhealthy lifestyle dreaming of the day my pants would fit again.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This last week, as I have been getting back into a routine, treating myself better, exercising, fake jogging, and inviting God to take the lead again instead of my bad habits, I've thought again about this race. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
And I decided to register for it.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Yup, you heard it. Jessica is going to do a half marathon.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm still battling my head saying I can't possibly do this, because my heart is longing to do it. I'm longing to give God my heart, and in doing so believe that by His strength, I CAN do this. It's an act of obedience, of worship, of giving Him my heart. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm giving God my heart... and training for a half marathon as a result of it. Heaven help me!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
He calls us to the most mysterious and sometimes unbelievable things, which may seem like foolishness to others if we aren't qualified for whatever He is calling us to do. But that's okay, because HE is the one who qualifies us to take on that which the world says we can't!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
What has He prepared for you? Are you willing to give Him your heart and your trust, as uncomfortable as it may be? Even if the world, your friends, even your family is screaming "No" at you, laughing at your expense for what He's calling you to do? Do you trust Him enough to break those chains and LIVE FREE? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I believe we can make His heart happy just by offering ours... in the everyday ordinary and mundane, <i>and</i> in our big breathtaking wildest dreams. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Will you offer Him your heart today?</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"But Moses said to the Lord, “Oh, my Lord, I am not eloquent, either in the past or since you have spoken to your servant, but I am slow of speech and of tongue.” Then the Lord said to him, “Who has made man's mouth? Who makes him mute, or deaf, or seeing, or blind? Is it not I, the Lord? Now therefore go, and<u> I will be with you</u>r mouth and teach you what you shall speak.” Exodus 4:10-12</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Now may the God of peace who brought again from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great shepherd of the sheep, by the blood of the eternal covenant, equip you with everything good that you may do His will, working in us that which is pleasing in His sight, through Jesus Christ, to whom be glory forever and ever. Amen." - Hebrews 13:20-21</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, His blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. <b>Abundantly free!</b> He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans He took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in Him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth. It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, He had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose He is working out in everything and everyone." - Ephesians 7-11 (MSG)</i></div>
</div>
Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-47668036674390801942013-05-02T23:05:00.000-04:002013-05-02T23:05:07.560-04:00The season of singing has come...Holy. Macaroni. My GRADUATE voice recital is in three days. THREE DAYS! Wowza! When did that happen???? So much has been going on that I haven't even really had time to rest, sufficiently finish my work, exercise, or even some days brush my hair... let alone update you with my silly ramblings! So here we are. The calendar has turned over to the month I graduate with my MASTERS degree. Wait, whaaaaaaaaaaat?!<br />
<br />
I was looking at the list of everything I had to do when I last updated this silly blog. And everything flew by without a second glance -- all happening so well! Orals: Passed with honors. Various exams and papers: Check. Performances: Check. Auditions: Check. Last week of classes: Check.<br />
<br />
I just can't wrap my mind around it... I am going to graduate!<br />
Hold that thought: I LIVED THROUGH THE PAST TWO YEARS.<br />
<br />
When everything felt like it was spiraling out of control, and I would never in a million years live through this degree, here I am. Standing on the other side of the giant mountain. About to open my arms and receive the goodness of the grace of the Lord, who lavishes me with His extravagant love and riches -- in ways that I never imagined possible.<br />
<br />
Last night was my dress rehearsal for my graduate recital! There were things that went so beautifully, things that were not so eloquent, and memorizations I know aren't quite as solid as I thought they were... but to be able to stand up and sing, to say what I have to say, to share my talent and my passion and the beautiful progress I have made only because of my inspiring and amazing teacher and mentor is a feat in and of itself for me -- the girl who has been sick more than most of my graduate class combined over our time here. I am in awe of the moment itself ... and can't believe it is happening for real!<br />
<br />
I guess the season of singing for me has really come to fruition. I have no idea what happens next, what jobs I'll be applying for, where I'll be living, the lot of it! But! I do have a pretty exciting summer planned, which is why I share with you now that the time of singing truly has come for me. So! Without further ado, let me share with you the amazing plans the Lord has brought to me for my upcoming summer...<br />
<br />
1. I graduate May 17, turn around and come home the following day, and then immediately fly out of Pittsburgh to Houston, Texas, to participate in the intensive young artist program <a href="http://www.uh.edu/class/music/tmf/tmf-institutes/institute-of-bel-canto-studies/index.php" target="_blank">Le Chiavi di Bel Canto</a>.<br />
<br />
2. Come July, I will be flying to London then hopping over to Oxford to participate in the <a href="http://www.rider.edu/academics/colleges-schools/wca/woce/oxford" target="_blank">Westminster Choral Institute at Oxford University</a> in a unique partnership with St Stephen's House, one of the Halls of Oxford University. As a member of Williamson Voices under the direction of Dr. James Jordan, I will be singing in the choir for participants and workshops and master classes and the like. It is an incredible opportunity!<br />
<br />
After that, I will spend a few days perusing London with some of the most beautiful people I know, and long-lost friends it seems!, who live there! Enjoying my first time in Europe to the fullest :)<br />
<br />
3. THEN! I am so excited to share with you that I will be travelling to Hungary this summer to participate in the <a href="http://www.crescendohungary.org/" target="_blank">Crescendo Summer Institute of the Arts</a>! CSI offers one of the most complete and competitive summer voice programs in Europe. I have personally been invited to cover the role of “Donna Anna” in their production of Mozart’s Don Giovanni. The unique opportunity that I will have at CSI this summer is that I will not only be covering a major role that could later serve to become the pinnacle of my vocal career, should the Lord lead me on that path, but I will also be in the position to share the love of Jesus with others. Everything I love. All in one. AHHHHH!!!! :)<br />
<br />
I have to get back to resting/finishing my program/sleeping and the like in preparation for this weekend. I just can't even believe it. The season of singing for this girl has certainly come... and I don't know what to expect or where to even start, but all I know is that the Lord has totally got this. He be in control --- cause I'm surely not! Where You lead, I will follow! <3<br />
<br />
<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:DocumentProperties>
<o:Template>Normal.dotm</o:Template>
<o:Revision>0</o:Revision>
<o:TotalTime>0</o:TotalTime>
<o:Pages>1</o:Pages>
<o:Words>20</o:Words>
<o:Characters>116</o:Characters>
<o:Company>Indiana University of Pennsylvania</o:Company>
<o:Lines>1</o:Lines>
<o:Paragraphs>1</o:Paragraphs>
<o:CharactersWithSpaces>142</o:CharactersWithSpaces>
<o:Version>12.0</o:Version>
</o:DocumentProperties>
<o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
<o:AllowPNG/>
</o:OfficeDocumentSettings>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:WordDocument>
<w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom>
<w:TrackMoves>false</w:TrackMoves>
<w:TrackFormatting/>
<w:PunctuationKerning/>
<w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridHorizontalSpacing>
<w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>18 pt</w:DrawingGridVerticalSpacing>
<w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayHorizontalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>0</w:DisplayVerticalDrawingGridEvery>
<w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/>
<w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>
<w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent>
<w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>
<w:Compatibility>
<w:BreakWrappedTables/>
<w:DontGrowAutofit/>
<w:DontAutofitConstrainedTables/>
<w:DontVertAlignInTxbx/>
<w:UseFELayout/>
</w:Compatibility>
</w:WordDocument>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" LatentStyleCount="276">
</w:LatentStyles>
</xml><![endif]-->
<!--[if gte mso 10]>
<style>
/* Style Definitions */
table.MsoNormalTable
{mso-style-name:"Table Normal";
mso-tstyle-rowband-size:0;
mso-tstyle-colband-size:0;
mso-style-noshow:yes;
mso-style-parent:"";
mso-padding-alt:0in 5.4pt 0in 5.4pt;
mso-para-margin:0in;
mso-para-margin-bottom:.0001pt;
mso-pagination:widow-orphan;
font-size:12.0pt;
font-family:"Times New Roman";
mso-ascii-font-family:"News Gothic MT";
mso-ascii-theme-font:minor-latin;
mso-hansi-font-family:"News Gothic MT";
mso-hansi-theme-font:minor-latin;}
</style>
<![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapedefaults v:ext="edit" spidmax="1026"/>
</xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
<o:shapelayout v:ext="edit">
<o:idmap v:ext="edit" data="1"/>
</o:shapelayout></xml><![endif]-->
<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-width: 93%;"><i>The flowers appear on the earth,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>the time
of singing has come,<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt; mso-font-width: 99%;"><i>and the voice of the turtledove<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>is heard
in our land.<o:p></o:p></i></span></div>
<div align="right" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Handwriting - Dakota"; font-size: 15.0pt; mso-bidi-font-size: 12.0pt;"><i>- Song of
Solomon 2:12</i><o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-992954019394545282013-03-03T23:53:00.002-05:002013-03-04T00:32:51.777-05:00In the face of one giant mountain...<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">My Father wants me to leap into His arms with joy...</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">My Father loves me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">... My Father WANTS me.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Wow.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I'm completely overwhelmed by this. Tonight's message was one of the most overwhelming, yet beautiful and so incredibly hard to get through messages I've ever heard. You know, just yesterday I was making my invitations for my recital... and by sheer coincidence (or not...) happened to come across my invitation list for such life events, not even sure I had it here with me in NJ. Then I was going down the list and came across Grandma's name. And man, I just cried like a baby. I didn't realize how much I missed her, or how much my heart still hurts from the loss of her last year. I can hardly type that without breaking down in tears - whew. And to think about the emotional roller-coaster that the past two years have been, but in particular last spring and everything that had to do with Grandma Flo. Holy moley, talk about rough. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">And then, after having been thinking about Grandma and all of the mess that lies in that, I go to church tonight and there's a "Daddy" message? So NOT prepared for that. Seriously, Lord? I mean... You could have thought about that better... </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Oh, wait. You did.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">It's always astounding to me just how much He really wants to get this through my thick skull - how He <i>is</i> my Father, He will <i>never</i> leave me, He <i>loves</i> me - unconditionally... I mean, the list goes on and on. I find it sad that in my mere fleshly - my severely selfish ways, that I eventually always wind up distrusting my heavenly Father - confusing His characteristics with the characteristics of my earthly father. I know better. But it's as if it's my default button. Men = bad. Fathers = worse. My father = the worst. That's the subconscious train of thought that I seem to follow, unbeknownst to me until that moment ... moments like tonight ... where the Lord slaps me to wake me up and bring me back to Him. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Tonight, the sermon talked about living as an orphan versus living as a son/daughter of the Father. While I know how to be a daughter, because I have the most incredible mother in the entire world - one who isn't just my mom, but my dad ... two for the price of one! (not to mention my best friend) - I realize that I have absolutely no idea how to be a daughter who lets her dad have her unending love, trust, and compassion. One who turns her life and her heart and herself over to her father, just as she does with her mother. And every time I think I'm truly doing so with my Father, I really am only on the surface level. And tonight, He broke down my walls and tugged on my heartstrings.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">And, hello there's another slap from the Lord. Ever so gently of course, through the beautiful Holy Spirit. But - really. I need slapped for that! </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">It's no wonder I feel like the hot mess I am. One of the characteristics of living as an orphan, with a self mindset, is this feeling of inadequacy. And this may come as a surprise to some of you... not... but I absolutely just feel like the most inadequate human being on the face of the planet. When I was younger, I used to feel this inadequacy with the weight as heavy as a ton of bricks in relation to my dad - I wasn't pretty enough, I wasn't skinny enough, I wasn't perfect enough, I wasn't good enough, I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't kind enough, fill-in-the-blank enough... for him to love me enough to stay. I battled with that idea for all too long - and it bled over into every area of my life, causing me to form a really skewed and messed up image of myself in light of all of it. One where I honestly couldn't believe GOD would even want to take time out of His obviously busy schedule, taking care of EVERYONE, to want anything to do with me.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">Holy moley. And you mean to tell me that He is chasing after me? He loves me so much He sent HIS Son to take my place? He wants me to jump into His arms with joy? To run to Him... always? </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">HELLO, TRUTH!</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">And that I <i>am</i> good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, and the like to be His daughter? But wait, there's no qualifications? I don't have to fill out an application? He loves me no matter what? </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><b>... no matter WHAT?</b></span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">That completely changed my entire life, when I realized that. And not just that HE wants me, that HE loves me, and that HE wants me to run to Him... but that He's not just this far away God in Heaven? He's HERE? He's by my side? I can have a <b>relationship</b> with Him? That He DELIGHTS in me... always? Now? Tomorrow? Twenty years from now? </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">Again. Mind. Blown.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">HOW can I not taste and see that He is good? That His Word is true, and He will keep His promises for all of time? </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">Lord, I am overwhelmed by You.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;"><b>And by Your love for me.</b></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">I'm so silly. I get myself so wound up, so distressed, so <i>discouraged</i> because I feel so INADEQUATE ... but those are just lies that the enemy is filling my head with. And it's influencing me to act like an orphan instead of the loved daughter of God that I am. Instead of leaning on Him, breaking free of these chains and this discouragement... this fear and anxiety... I let it run rampant. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">Well buddy, no more.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">From here on out life continues to be ridiculously insane until I, Lord-willing, graduate in May. I must buckle in and hunker down for the most incredibly difficult three months of my young life thus far. Everything is game on now, and there is no turning back. Here's a tiny checklist... My GIANT mountain...</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">3/7: Whole Opshop scene memorized</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">3/13: Sing in Perf class... better get to memorizing my recital music</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">3/14: French Mélodie exam</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">3/15: Another audition</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">3/27: ORALS... ORALS... ORALS</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">4/something: Williamson concert</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">4/23: OpShop performance</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">5/5: RECITAL</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; line-height: 17px;">5/17: GRADUATION</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">... And that's not even including trying to fit work, homework assignments, reading, and GROCERY shopping in there. OH and laundry and cleaning. You laugh, but I've been so busy I haven't been to the grocery store for a month! I just can't handle any of this... AND HELLO MY ORALS ARE THIS MONTH AND I FEEL SO ILL-EQUIPPED. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">I'm so incredibly overwhelmed - with school, with life, with what comes next (hello - I have no idea where I will go after May... that's another fear in and of itself) and the list could go on and on... I wrote this plea on my facebook the other day "</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">So incredibly overwhelmed... Lord, please help me use these moments to turn being overwhelmed by circumstances, workloads, and the like over to instead being overwhelmed with You - Your love, grace, and mercy that will continue to carry me through all the aforementioned worries and stresses. I am literally only going to make it through these next few months due to the strength I receive from You." </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">The Lord has seen me through every single step of the way thus far. I have no reason to believe He won't carry me through this semester also. I mean, honestly - if it weren't for Him I wouldn't even be here. Every single step of this degree has been a testimony to His unending grace and mercy. He</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><i>does</i></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> have a purpose for me. I just need to literally cling to Him as if I am His little girl, which I am... trusting He will never, ever leave my side.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 18px;">So tonight, I really needed that major slap in the face. So that I will finally </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">stop treating my heavenly Father like my deadbeat earthly father who doesn't know how to love me. Because my heavenly Father knows how to lavish me with His perfect love. I just have to open my arms and receive it. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">I have to boldly declare that in the name of Jesus, I am a beautiful, marvelous, princess and daughter of the <b>King</b>. I am</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"> fearfully and wonderfully made. God made me just how He wanted me to be - and He knows just how to walk with me through this scary, uncertain, difficult, and stressful time. Because on the other side of this craziness is more beauty than I can ever imagine.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Lately, I've been so bad at reserving my heart for the Lord. On a completely unrelated note, and random really, I see everyone around me in relationships - getting engaged, getting married, happy with someone else that they've entrusted their heart, their love, and themselves to. I'm twenty-four years old, and in this culture it seems "wrong" to not be in a relationship, to not be preparing for the next step, to be alone. I'm constantly trying to find someone to give my heart to - trying to do my hair, do my makeup, look as skinny and "pretty" (whatever that is) as I can, so that I won't miss my chance... because sometimes I'm truly afraid I've missed finding my husband. And if you're a girl in particular, I KNOW you know what I'm talking about! hahaha! Instead of guarding my heart, giving it solely to the Lord, I'm trying so hard to "do all the right things" so someday soon I won't have to pay someone to marry me.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">"... Uhm, Jessica - that's about the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard." I know that's just what the Lord is thinking right now. And He's stifling back laughter at me, at my poor pathetic antics to try to convince someone I'm WORTHY to be loved.</span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;">Which all goes back to the crux of it all - and of where the message from church tonight took me ... I <b>am worthy</b>. I am so worthy of love, that Christ died to bring me a love I can never fully understand. And instead of trying to give my heart away to the next man that comes walking around the corner, I need to give it to God, and Him alone. </span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; line-height: 17px;"><br /></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large; line-height: 17px;">All I need is You, Lord. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">If I learn nothing else in this life, and if I have nothing left to share, it all comes back to this - all I need is Him... that's what matters. He makes us whole. He holds our hands every step of the way, He carries us when we can't stand on our own two feet. He desperately wants us to come to Him, to pick up our burdens for us, and to steadfastly shower us with His forgiveness, love, mercy, and grace. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">It's amazing, isn't it? That we can be so messed up in our own little ways, but when it comes back to the Lord, all that is pushed aside and out of mind. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">Are you willing enough to step out of your "identity" box... to put aside who you say you are, and to accept rather who GOD says <i>you are</i>?</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">I won't make it through this looming giant mountain of finishing school on my own. It's literally impossible. But with Christ on my side, by my side, holding me up when I can't do it on my own, before I know it all the troubles will be over. And I will be celebrating the culmination of two years' worth of stepping out in faith and watching the Lord never cease to amaze me, never cease to take care of me, and never cease to bring me over, around, and through my mountains. </span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">I don't really know where this whole post started, or if I've kind of even coherently summed up one thought, but this is just a montage of everything that's been rolling around in my heart the last week... and that ran down my cheeks in tears tonight during church. Jesus is alive. And His heart aches for you more than you will ever know. It's astounding. It's amazing. It's quite literally unbelievable. And yet, if you let Him, He will saturate your life and every fiber of your being with Himself - and you will come to wonder how you could ever be so silly as to question Him, His presence, His truth, or His love for even a shadow of a second.</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;"><br /></span></span>
</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 17px;">If you got nothing else from these random ramblings, know this:</span></span></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: large; line-height: 17px;">God is good... <b>all of the time.</b></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">"Open your mouth and taste, open your eyes and see— </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;">how good God is.</span></span></b></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>Blessed are you who run to Him." </b></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><b>- Psalm 34:8, The Message</b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"><b><br /></b></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333;"></span></span><br />
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> you formed me in my mother’s womb.</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">I thank you, High God—you’re breathtaking!</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> Body and soul, I am marvelously made!</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> I worship in adoration—what a creation!</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know me inside and out,</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> you know every bone in my body;</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> how I was sculpted from nothing into something.</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> all the stages of my life were spread out before you,</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">The days of my life all prepared</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"> before I’d even lived one day.</span></div>
<div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">- Psalm 139:13-16, The Message</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR_83DRDRlVmajxREOxjAPZGThBf6OJzuguXc6XmCWKkGuFpIrvelyliJZGdW70dSuftOuhvzWRSAXhpvwFUiGb5LKTNlHsp6AwEkbmx6mGGpEughBwCs4-1FW73h55qaewMpSLUuqJWuL/s1600/554922_480661271994776_678571642_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiR_83DRDRlVmajxREOxjAPZGThBf6OJzuguXc6XmCWKkGuFpIrvelyliJZGdW70dSuftOuhvzWRSAXhpvwFUiGb5LKTNlHsp6AwEkbmx6mGGpEughBwCs4-1FW73h55qaewMpSLUuqJWuL/s640/554922_480661271994776_678571642_n.jpg" width="411" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">*If you, like I, struggle with forgiveness - of self, of others, in any capacity - I highly suggest you take the $10-$15 and get this book, read this book, and soak in the honest to goodness truth of the healing power and unending love of our Savior, our Maker, our Lord. It changed my life, re-ignited my relationship with the Lord, and inspired and encouraged me to earnestly and honestly bring my struggles with forgiveness to Him, to my Father who loves me and who wants to take away the hurt and replace it with joy. Suzie is an incredible woman who is such a treasure, who knows the Lord and who seeks to share His wonderful love with us all, women and men alike. I am so grateful to have had the opportunity to read this book firsthand last year, as she was working to finalize this beautiful project, and I cannot tell you enough how much it brought me back to the Lord every moment of every day. Do yourself a favor, and unburden your heart. <a href="http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-unburdened-heart-t-suzane-eller/1111012415?ean=9780830765126" target="_blank">The Unburdened Heart, Suzie Eller</a></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i></i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>And I will call upon Your name</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>And keep my eyes above the waves</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>When oceans rise</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>My soul will rest in Your embrace</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>For I am Yours and You are mine</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i><br /></i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>Your grace abounds in deepest waters</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>Your sovereign hand</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>Will be my guide</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>Where feet may fail and fear surrounds me</i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i>You've never failed and You won't start now</i></u></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><u><i><object class="BLOGGER-youtube-video" classid="clsid:D27CDB6E-AE6D-11cf-96B8-444553540000" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0" data-thumbnail-src="http://0.gvt0.com/vi/dy9nwe9_xzw/0.jpg" height="266" width="320"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dy9nwe9_xzw&fs=1&source=uds" /><param name="bgcolor" value="#FFFFFF" /><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><embed width="320" height="266" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dy9nwe9_xzw&fs=1&source=uds" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></i></u></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #333333; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;"><i><u><br /></u></i></span></div>
Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-19906792946030165042013-01-22T00:56:00.000-05:002013-01-22T00:56:55.055-05:00Who am I?Welp. 3 semesters down. 1 final one to go. <br />
<br />
<b>Whoa.</b><br />
<br />
I literally cannot wrap my head around this scary, exciting, surreal, and unbelievable fact. Wowza! Every time I think about going back, I can't even believe that a) break has flown by or that b) it is my last semester of grad school. Where did the time go?<br />
<b> </b><br />
Last semester seemed to zoom by, yet drag on, all at the same time! So much happened - a lot of good, some not so good, and some gosh darn fabulous! I was so busy I'm not sure how I managed to get everything done that was required of me. Said busyness is evidenced in the fact that I barely kept this silly blog up to date!<br />
<br />
Over the past couple weeks of break, I've been thinking a lot about this question: "Who am I?" There are so many ways to answer such a question... at this precise moment, I am a very sick girl curled up in bed in her Glee pj pants with her Mr. Pug and Steelers bear, named "Heath," laying next to her. Another answer is that I am LuAnne Hann's daughter! Whoo! Or I could say I am a graduate student at Westminster Choir College. I am a daughter of the King. I am a voice student of the always fabulous Nova Thomas. I am a proud alumnus of IUP! I am an exercise junkie. I am a great big nerd. I am sincerely obsessed with the Steelers. I am a baby opera singer. I am entirely thoroughly confused about what happens after graduation. I am ... I am ... I am ...<br />
<br />
...the list could go on and on. But when it comes down to it, who am I <i>really</i>? In the world we live in, I feel like it is improper, unheard of, unbelievable if you are as I, 24 years old, and unsure of who you are... who you will become... or what it is you desire to do. Which I find absolutely ridiculous, but I digress. I have been in school my entire life. The real answer to the question "Who am I?" is that I am a professional student. And I love being a student! But I am so ready to be finished... I have been in college for SEVEN years! Five years at undergrad, and two for grad... that is a whole lot of school. What in the world am I going to do with 3 degrees? (For those of you keeping count and wondering where I got 3, I was a dual major at IUP - BS in Music Ed + BFA in Voice Performance = 2 degrees + MM in Voice Performance/Pedagogy, Pedagogy emphasis from Westminster Choir College hopefully coming this May = 3 potential degrees)<br />
<br />
I mean seriously, who needs to be this stinking educated? And the half of it is that the more education I receive, the more stupid I feel. #truth<br />
<br />
This is such an interesting place to be, at this time, for I have never, ever in my entire life not known what I wanted to do and not had a plan. It bothers me more than it should, because when it all comes down to it I know that the Lord has incredible plans for me, plans that He will reveal at precisely the right moment and not a second sooner. And if you know me, not having a color-coded bullet list of my life plan drives me up the wall.<br />
<br />
At the moment however, it is driving me closer and closer to the Lord, which is precisely where I need to be at such a confusing and uncertain time! It almost makes me laugh, because most days I find myself perusing facebook and seeing so many of my friends "growing up" ... getting engaged, getting married, starting families, and the like and here am I... still. in. school. And so me, being the emotional girl I am, find myself desperately wondering when I will get to be that girl - getting engaged, getting married, starting a family... I wind up green with envy! When instead of drooling over getting married, I need to be drooling over what in the world I'm going to do when I graduate! Rather, what in the world I'm going to do with all of these degrees! lol!<br />
<br />
As I spend more time in the Word, praying and praying and praying about this uncertainty, I find myself coming to be more and more at peace with just merely recognizing the fact that it is completely out of my hands anyway. All I have to do is keep on keepin' on, working hard, and continually seeking the Lord, and He will reveal to me where it is He has me in this next chapter of life. I can't imagine - to not be a student? This is going to be so weird... but in a good way! :)<br />
<br />
The more I spend my time thinking about it, the more I find myself utterly confused about what it is I actually want to do. Singing was never a reality before, but now it is a possibility? I'm talented enough according to what I've been told from those in my life at school to possibly do something with it? Do I want to?<br />
<br />
Honestly? I have no idea.<br />
<br />
I love singing. Adore it. Quite a bit. Obviously. But to center my entire identity, my life, my career around it? Whew. That scares me!<br />
<br />
I love teaching with a passion - and I absolutely adore those silly high school students. So stinking much! But do I want to teach and not sing? Do I want to sing and teach just lessons?<br />
<br />
Man, I could use a guidance counselor about now. And I'll be playing this plethora of questions all semester long, as May creeps closer and closer! It's such a unique place to be. I could give in to the anxiety, the fear, the uncertainty, and just become more of a hot mess than usual LOL... but I'm earnestly hoping and praying that the Lord will use this opportunity to help nudge me into leaning more into Him... to fully rely on Him in every moment of every day - not just in the big things. And to be more receptive to His plan for my life, instead of my own "perfect" plan. After all, He Himself is the perfect counselor! That doesn't mean it's going to be easy, just all happiness and flowers all the time, but it gives me hope... hope to believe that without a shadow of a doubt my Father has me completely taken care of, no matter what I do or how badly I may screw up. Because after all, who am I? I am the daughter of the King of Kings - and my Father will most assuredly take care of His princess, just as He promises to in His Word! And nothing is too difficult for the Lord... even my over-complicated, confusing, uncertain, debt-full, and crazy life. :)<br />
<br />
It's going to be an interesting ride this semester, that's for sure. You know, I've been thinking about "How do I know that what God says in His Word is true? Why do I believe in Him? And put my hope and trust in my Savior, Jesus Christ, His Son?" Well, I don't have a beautiful and well-scripted answer. All I know is simply that He is good. His love is all around. Every single place I turn, I see the fingerprints of God. I know that I know that I know that I <b>know</b> that He is who He says He is - and that He exists. Without a shadow of a doubt. I don't just believe aimlessly or naively that God is God, without giving it second thought. I have experienced Him and His perfect, selfless, and incredible love, grace, and mercy. My entire time in grad school - this whole experience - it is woven together seamlessly because of Him. He is everywhere in the past year and a half of this adventure! And it's because of Him that it was even possible in the first place. And that's just a short two years of my entire life, where if you put the chapters together, you literally see Him jump off the page! Just because you can't see Him as a tangible, living being doesn't mean that He isn't - because oh man is He ever alive! It's not about just believing, it's about wholeheartedly and passionately trusting that the Lord will follow through on His promises. It goes from 'Whoo! God's got this, I'm off the hook,' to 'Wow, I am completely humbled by the way that He so perfectly takes care of me... how can I serve Him? What can I do while I wait on Him?' ... the answers aren't simple, and even though I know who I am in Christ and what is promised to me as a result of that identity, I can't just sit back and wait twiddling my thumbs. It's quite a position... because on one hand yes, it is as simple as believing and saying "Okay God, You've got this," but it's not nearly that simple on the other hand because one can't just sit back and passively lounge around expecting God to put all the puzzle pieces in place. <br />
<br />
I feel like I'm talking in circles now... And I'm finally starting to wind down from the craziness of the day - and I'm praying for some incredible sleep tonight to help ward off this illness. So I'll stop with my late night soapbox. :) It's just quite incredible to me, to look at just what the Lord has accomplished in my life over the past year and a half, nearly two years... where He's taken me, what He's done in my life, how He's interceded for me, how He's challenged me and helped me grow in Him, etc. He is everywhere. I love Him. And I am so thankful that He has given me such an opportunity and a position to serve Him even more, and especially while I wait - while I wait to grow up and get married, and while I wait to grow up and figure out what it is He's calling me to do with this life He's so graciously given me. Wow! I am just overwhelmed with how blessed I truly am. Thank You, Lord! <3<br />
<br />
Who am I? I'm just a young lady - trying to finally finish school, figure out what this world has to offer me, follow the Lord in all I do, and serve Him with every fiber of my being while I wait for Him to fulfill all of my hopes and dreams. Because He will. He's just that marvelous!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Taste and see that the LORD is good. Oh, the joys of those who take refuge in him! </i><br />
<i>- Psalm 34:8</i><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Is anything too hard for the Lord? - Genesis 18:14</i><br />
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> Your Father knows exactly what you need, even before you ask Him. </i><br />
<i>- Matthew 6:8 </i></div>
Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-69723844208191679982012-11-12T10:50:00.002-05:002012-11-12T10:50:27.991-05:00Life as a 2nd year grad...Well! Here we are... into the second week of November. Talk about crazy! Also, crazy? Life as a 2nd year grad. I thought life was insane last year, and that wasn't just because of the crazy "life" things that were attacking me, but also just because of the rigorous academics required to be pursuing a masters degree at one of the most ridiculous and prestigious really schools in my line of work ever. But nope, it gets even more ridiculous as a 2nd year grad!<br />
<br />
I've had moments, particularly all weekend long this weekend, where I have thought to myself "Man, Jess, you could be home - subbing, working another job, paying off debt instead of accruing more, maybe you would have even snagged a job for this year if you had looked..." instead of being here, stressed to the max, confused as ever, and just doing what I can to "get by."<br />
<br />
... And then I realize the absurdity of those remarks! And stop for just a second realize what it is I'm actually gaining here - other than more massive amounts of debt, I'm gaining invaluable experience, lessons, education, and the list goes on and on! I can't even begin to tell you truly how incredibly blessed I am through this experience. Yes, it's been ridiculously hard on multiple levels, but it's also been so precious. I was listening to a sermon series from Mars Hill Church on the book of Esther this past week while I was working, and Pastor Mark Driscoll reminded me that <i>"Oftentimes, our opportunity for spiritual growth is in the most difficult seasons of life." </i>Talk about a slap in the face! Duh, Jessica. That's why I've been here, going through what I've gone through since the moment I stepped foot in this place called the armpit! :) I can't even begin to describe to you just how much I've grown in the past two years - and most importantly, grown spiritually. This year I feel though like I've been running a race since school began. No time to do much of anything, let alone what I'm supposed to be getting done! And last week, in the stress that was "the week after Sandy," I felt like I was going to snap. I'm sure most of those who read these silly ramblings of mine saw my facebook status from a week ago, but for those who haven't (aka-Grammy!<3) here is what I came to realize:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b><span class="userContent">Last night, I came home from church and sat on
my bed working on homework when "Reason to Sing" by All Sons &
Daughters came on my Pandora station. It brought me to tears... it's
exactly everything that's going through my thoughts lately. I sat in my
room begging the Lord to give me a reason to sing - to help calm the
storm that's been raging inside. This morning, I bring my computer down
to the k</span>itchen and turn on K-Love while
making breakfast and getting my lunch together. They were talking with
some guests and then out of nowhere "Search My Heart" by Hillsong comes
on. I stopped dead in my tracks. That song is my reason to sing - when I
was student teaching, about every other day, that song was on K-Love on
my way home from school. It's one of my most favorite songs in the
world. Not just because it's incredible but it sweetly takes me back to
the semester that changed my life, when the Lord grabbed hold of me and
became more than just "God," but enveloped me in His arms and let me see
who He really is, and in turn who I am. And this morning it filled me
with "Holy Spirit Goosebumps" and a plethora of tears. Just when I felt
like I was so incredibly far away from the Lord, there He is. Meeting me
in my kitchen over pumpkin spice coffee... and reminding me of my
reason to sing - Him. ♥</b></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Talk about one of those major crazy "God-cidences" ... as I've come to learn it be called from a sweet girl I met at Christian Fellowship - there's nothing as a "coincidence," there's only a "God-cidence."<i><b> </b></i>Last week that was just crazy awesome, totally everything I had felt deprived of so long - I found myself running around so crazy (practically like a chicken with my head cut off) and kept the Lord in a neat little box, and wasn't making the time I needed to for Him! Here I was standing around feeling left behind, kind of lost around here in the good ol'armpit, when in reality He was right here the whole time trying to slap me into focus! In that same sermon I was listening to last week, there was also a time when Pastor Driscoll said <i>"God is not a Father who walks out on His kids - He's ALWAYS there!"</i> <b>Truth</b>. He's been here nudging me the whole time. I, on the other hand, instead of having been obedient have just merely been tolerant. I got comfortable enough, and just kept going through the motions. Blech! I don't ever want to just "go through the motions," and yet somehow that's what I've been allowing myself to do this entire semester. No more, I tell you, no more! I shall stop letting life just happen, and instead live <b>obediently</b> where the Lord has called me. I tell ya - it's in these moments He really could just reach down and slap me, and I wouldn't protest!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I know I'm just a mere 24 years of age, but it's so funny to me how complacent I become - how much I can let myself "live in the past," and let things just "happen." It's hard not to some days, but it would be so much more beneficial to be thankful in the moments we're blessed with each day, rather than think about days gone by! Yes, I will never for the life of me ever be able to replace the most beautiful, marvelous, magical, and life-changing moments and days spent at IUP... and I know, as far as I'm concerned, nothing will compare. However, that season has come and gone! Time to keep my eyes peeled open forward, <b>ahead </b>of me and the race set before me, to remain <b>obedient</b> where the Lord has brought me, and to love this crazy, wonderful, scary, and uncertain life He's blessed me with. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
I'm slowly counting down the days until Thanksgiving break of course [8 days! 8 days!] and I can't wait to go spend the time with my family at home, tucked away in my own bed. But I will remind myself to slap a silly smile on and return to this place where I've been called by the Lord Himself happily, rejoicing that He's blessed me with this life to live for Him. It's hard right now, to not get bogged down in just being tolerant, when every day I'm faced with the fact that we're getting one step closer to bringing this Grad School adventure to a close... and then what? I honestly have no idea. What do I want to do? Move home. Sub. Look for a job. Be comfortable. What do I think the Lord will call me to do? Remain comfortably un-comfortable... stay somewhere near this area, continue to study, and teach lessons in the area. It's the most frightening realization in the world, because I have no idea where I would live, how I would make enough money to sustain the debt I will have to start paying back, let alone enough money to sustain everyday life, etc. It's so frightening, and I let myself get bogged down in that unknown, that fear, that confusion.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
However, either way, the Lord has it all worked out. And as long as I continue to be obedient and follow Him wholeheartedly and passionately, instead of halfheartedly and lukewarmly, He will bring to fruition the plan He has known all along. And the one that, when I try to put my bitty hands in the process and think I know best and figure it out, that He just sits back and laughs at me for thinking I "know best." I'm telling you - He's got the best sense of humor. Ever! After all, He made me! :) hehe!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Whew. Life is crazy. But I do love it. And! I survived another hurricane unscathed. That's certainly something to stop and be thankful for! Also, I got to spend Saturday with my FAMILY!!! Mom, Nin, and Kate came to meet me at the Park City Mall in Lancaster, and it was SO MUCH FUN! Literally we were there all day, and yet couldn't even make it through all the mall! It was insane! Huge! Awesome! So much fun! Man. I love those crazy ladies! ;)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Well. I must be getting along here. Lots of lesson plans to make, and lessons to review, and a plethora of work to do thereafter! But we're almost there. Semester 3 is almost over. And then we're into the last one! I never thought last year at this time - literally last November, the month of insanity, where I got so deathly ill, moved out of the crazy house, went to NYC, sang Brahms with the Philadelphia Orchestra, came so close to throwing in the towel - never once did I truly think I was going to make it to this point. As far as I was concerned, it was a fun ride and I was done with grad school. And then the Lord slapped me across the face when He seamlessly made it so that my GPA didn't drop so low that I wouldn't lose my scholarship because I had to take that incomplete, and He sent me right back ready to fight and discover why He brought me here in the first place. Well, I'm still not completely sure of the why, but I know enough in my mere 24 years to close my eyes, thank Him for the life He's given me, and trust Him wholeheartedly without a shadow of a doubt, knowing full well that He will carry me through every single thing the enemy tries to trip me up with as I walk obediently in what the Lord has called me to. Close my eyes, thank Him, and keep on keepin' on.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
As I leave you with what has been another silly rambling of mine, I will share with you my prayer for the week: Lord, help me to live in a manner in which people would be drawn to You because of how they see me behave and live in the life that You have blessed me with. Not merely making it through, tolerating what I've been given, but obediently living with a passion for You that may never be extinguished, no matter the circumstances that surround me.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Here are some pics of the last few weeks! I know most of you have probably seen them scoured all over facebook, but in case you haven't, enjoy! :) Love you all so much! Thank you for all the prayers, love, and hugs. <3</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKo-91PrZ52Bd4nN23555JignCdX8-fzlguDBwSCEguPjv634eh91cInNwJX5al5Ogepv6VySrFtmP41NnyyZTdyoHl6JDph0MXphnbjG4pY2hEL-XecL0BYZUnmVYkRX-65VdbkCw_H0R/s1600/115_7325.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKo-91PrZ52Bd4nN23555JignCdX8-fzlguDBwSCEguPjv634eh91cInNwJX5al5Ogepv6VySrFtmP41NnyyZTdyoHl6JDph0MXphnbjG4pY2hEL-XecL0BYZUnmVYkRX-65VdbkCw_H0R/s400/115_7325.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chels, Katie, and I with our pumpkins we made when I went home in October! :)</td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKDj9r1RugYxpDqMyC-Vrp6mSVh0xvsIfXa3IayagRJa8MwaAjTtPoGyZDnEQQ0_WgYuJT6VcS2Ucyk3lp43GdFQpoAKOg5WTV1f4cPYSzh8X6ZvINmbdrst_zlw04ioCJXfALvIDbI7S3/s1600/115_7343.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjKDj9r1RugYxpDqMyC-Vrp6mSVh0xvsIfXa3IayagRJa8MwaAjTtPoGyZDnEQQ0_WgYuJT6VcS2Ucyk3lp43GdFQpoAKOg5WTV1f4cPYSzh8X6ZvINmbdrst_zlw04ioCJXfALvIDbI7S3/s400/115_7343.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful friends and ladies! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlF3hgTsXCHDJa_KztOnO-aZ4XdZZn_aKXn1MnDS7aujmTA1uD7q1g7nXZcnBVcoOuf5zZ1fC9n8kVgAVA_gkV5GZVIxoqVf4H7TFtYqrZZi9Hupo-0Z8DzcPvIjb0rTPeq6Rb33QqSyv/s1600/115_7358.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTlF3hgTsXCHDJa_KztOnO-aZ4XdZZn_aKXn1MnDS7aujmTA1uD7q1g7nXZcnBVcoOuf5zZ1fC9n8kVgAVA_gkV5GZVIxoqVf4H7TFtYqrZZi9Hupo-0Z8DzcPvIjb0rTPeq6Rb33QqSyv/s400/115_7358.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is how I survived without heat/power during Sandy... and I was STILL cold!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAOhHkJcX8shnivElO_Tougl06usxKjT7USyqrF2QTjx2ra6Q1xNfXKvzSl9SAQlizjKSapWfm1ONQUUF4BqHxKlpP_4GuiZs6NL8ULflrae1WNr9fUEYML2bOtpEXlV2nhi6HQIu9Qqdx/s1600/115_7359.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgAOhHkJcX8shnivElO_Tougl06usxKjT7USyqrF2QTjx2ra6Q1xNfXKvzSl9SAQlizjKSapWfm1ONQUUF4BqHxKlpP_4GuiZs6NL8ULflrae1WNr9fUEYML2bOtpEXlV2nhi6HQIu9Qqdx/s400/115_7359.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Beautiful! Park City Mall!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj23Df539B8UfWAuWZMJa_PR8OIr795VI231crTgIXj5VmDDW_IbD6oOcTQ87Q96TcoSc7jT1fIjCuF-eVWMZHKAlxdhl1UeRuUfFH440C6MniWMWtxlEoUYpXTeV5EKypRjQUoBlrt5RgI/s1600/115_7360.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj23Df539B8UfWAuWZMJa_PR8OIr795VI231crTgIXj5VmDDW_IbD6oOcTQ87Q96TcoSc7jT1fIjCuF-eVWMZHKAlxdhl1UeRuUfFH440C6MniWMWtxlEoUYpXTeV5EKypRjQUoBlrt5RgI/s400/115_7360.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">NINNY! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEJRFVpi9jlR4zm8Uw_1ZFD4yEz60U3tnEC9yRZROnwIjpFGJHbnNXTzLdlaGHBIbtAtay-MOvWprckzPQ5evT9ZOHCSqKHKntg68VMpHbXd58wjLGtH5WiYahcp3d93KC_w6FTl6MtOJF/s1600/115_7361.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEJRFVpi9jlR4zm8Uw_1ZFD4yEz60U3tnEC9yRZROnwIjpFGJHbnNXTzLdlaGHBIbtAtay-MOvWprckzPQ5evT9ZOHCSqKHKntg68VMpHbXd58wjLGtH5WiYahcp3d93KC_w6FTl6MtOJF/s400/115_7361.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this picture more than anything. <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVxvpQ_2vVRZduhPFfzTRj6GVm8GnsMs4skfBhRamlAiuCsejLe5VyHRDixDyVkrLgwo3TxLrQhItApL4jznsGI640gAb0L5r_92JbhnVvUKPjq25joOFzFSSfC67QDeckmmArLP2fE5ea/s1600/115_7364.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiVxvpQ_2vVRZduhPFfzTRj6GVm8GnsMs4skfBhRamlAiuCsejLe5VyHRDixDyVkrLgwo3TxLrQhItApL4jznsGI640gAb0L5r_92JbhnVvUKPjq25joOFzFSSfC67QDeckmmArLP2fE5ea/s400/115_7364.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sissy! :) :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32aGVh9Dr-tLrQaEZBlmyxT2bpaeCr7wRCLYfjdOfwXvZwb_mqFaRhKFtkNe7zd1jDXUqlxP23fobo00aBp5CVLz8nXkuGujdupeFUjak6H1ybbngnTerajxihthXkQhfAijEsjg6jUYB/s1600/115_7366.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg32aGVh9Dr-tLrQaEZBlmyxT2bpaeCr7wRCLYfjdOfwXvZwb_mqFaRhKFtkNe7zd1jDXUqlxP23fobo00aBp5CVLz8nXkuGujdupeFUjak6H1ybbngnTerajxihthXkQhfAijEsjg6jUYB/s400/115_7366.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best friends. Best family. #blessed <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpTiZCObJUHgUnmqIf1y_AGPL08Azjdpp7KTeI3E8cqeXsa_RyzaevnsWPGaEx8NxAVrbhyphenhyphenGAPvIKS_K9CiB4UAn8HJmuk-N_S3eONLIMPWDdASPzjf77wfggEddjc8Xg2w7ETSKMEciW9/s1600/115_7368.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjpTiZCObJUHgUnmqIf1y_AGPL08Azjdpp7KTeI3E8cqeXsa_RyzaevnsWPGaEx8NxAVrbhyphenhyphenGAPvIKS_K9CiB4UAn8HJmuk-N_S3eONLIMPWDdASPzjf77wfggEddjc8Xg2w7ETSKMEciW9/s400/115_7368.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is one of the best pictures in the world!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmRY88Px0w1IQy9DM7j8Eila6IluZCt7uT2rEl3Y70GYCc-rk86-XBnIdVKdPoWWzjZyQSzXsoeEheVjhe-cBj9wNkkaL9XtTt_kqrcku-W0LWM5cfVfZ74a8Lea5XH_XTTu1AMR9_2wx6/s1600/602511_10100393860746932_242938250_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmRY88Px0w1IQy9DM7j8Eila6IluZCt7uT2rEl3Y70GYCc-rk86-XBnIdVKdPoWWzjZyQSzXsoeEheVjhe-cBj9wNkkaL9XtTt_kqrcku-W0LWM5cfVfZ74a8Lea5XH_XTTu1AMR9_2wx6/s400/602511_10100393860746932_242938250_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sissy and I built bears for Christmas! I know, we're twenty-somethings, but hey. You're never too old to build a bear! ;)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY-pol_yIoAkw1wc4Xyt4XMY_ZlmqBgaHYK7kLvAMOtaGk3vqVx3hltFPhvibQi4FR05aq-HVv2tEFTZmEF2lJ56Ym1r5G91TlkHdIpJQU32kJNHUiQCAGyRqLtfXIWtl8xIqozJbqQnB9/s1600/115_7382.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgY-pol_yIoAkw1wc4Xyt4XMY_ZlmqBgaHYK7kLvAMOtaGk3vqVx3hltFPhvibQi4FR05aq-HVv2tEFTZmEF2lJ56Ym1r5G91TlkHdIpJQU32kJNHUiQCAGyRqLtfXIWtl8xIqozJbqQnB9/s400/115_7382.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Lub my Momma! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div align="center">
<div align="center">
<i><b>
Blessed be the Lord, my rock, </b></i></div>
<div align="center">
<i><b>who trains my hands for war, </b></i></div>
<div align="center">
<i><b>and my fingers for battle; </b></i></div>
<div align="center">
<i><b>He is my steadfast love and my fortress,</b></i></div>
<div align="center">
<i><b> my stronghold and my deliverer, </b></i></div>
<div align="center">
<i><b>my shield and he in whom I take refuge,</b></i></div>
</div>
<div align="center">
<div align="center">
<i><b> who subdues peoples under me.</b></i></div>
<div align="center">
<b><i>- Psalm 144:1-2 (ESV) </i></b></div>
</div>
Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-80496359593379431752012-10-14T23:55:00.002-04:002012-10-14T23:57:36.512-04:00Pumpkin palooza! :)Well - I've lived through yet another few weeks of school! Shocking, I know. :) lol! Not much has been going on outside of crazy hectic class schedules and the like. I've been really enjoying teaching voice lessons for Ped 3! It's incredible. Every time I get the chance to teach a lesson I'm just literally smacked by God as He giggles at me and says "Jessica, remember? I've already got this all figured out." It's been really fun just remembering why I'm here in the first place! Though sometimes it does make me a big nostalgic for that home sweet home in Indiana, PA circa 2 years ago... TWO years! Wowza. Time sure does fly.<br />
<br />
Singing in Williamson Voices is still such an incredible blessing. Even just in the rehearsals we've had so far. It literally blows me away. I am sharing in a choir with some of the most incredible people, musicians, singers, and artists I will ever meet. Every day I leave a little more in love with it all... Talk about a blessing. In-credible!<br />
<br />
I've started playing on Worship team at church on Sunday evenings when they need me! I've been hanging out behind the piano playing (like I know what I'm doing, lol!) and singing. It's so much fun - literally, the best part of my week! I love, love, love, love, love this church. Obviously. But getting to be more and more involved just makes everything so much more special.<br />
<br />
I FOUND A GIANT, IN PENNSYLVANIA, 15 MINUTES AWAY! That has been one of the most exciting developments of the past few weeks. LOL! Also, I got green shoe laces now for my birthday tennis shoes. It's the little things in life! :D<br />
<br />
This weekend I went to the Fall Festival at Terhune Orchards with my friends! It was such a blast. We went pumpkin picking, drank apple cider, ate cider doughnuts, and then came back to my apartment and watched HALLOWEENTOWN! Gosh. I love that movie. It never, ever gets old. I know I always say this, but I truly am so blessed to have the most incredible friends here to share this grad school journey with. They are incredible people, and amazing friends. I'm so, so blessed!<br />
<br />
There's really not much else going on. This week is the Verdi Requiem with the Philadelphia Orchestra that Symphonic Choir is doing. I'm not in Symphonic this year, so I am not sure I'll know what to do with myself this week with most everyone gone for the run-outs! haha! It will be different, for sure. But I wouldn't change being in Williamson in place of Symphonic in my schedule for the world!<br />
<br />
I schedule tomorrow morning for my last semester of classes. I'm kind of incredibly frightened by this fact. I've been a student my entire life. Forever. And the question everyone always asks is "Well, what are you doing next year?" ... Uhm, I'll get back to you on that. I have absolutely no idea, and it scares me to death! Tonight in the sermon at church, one of the big points was asking the Lord to open the eyes of our heart - and to allow Him to move in us as He wishes, which is what I took from it. And I guess that's where I need to be right now. I don't have anything figured out, quite honestly. And truth be told, I have no idea what I want to do. I thought I knew, but Jesus is throwing me a curveball right now, and I don't know where to go with it from here. All I know to do is close my eyes and jump - trusting that He will carry me along the way that He has for me! It's not comfortable at all for me, little miss obsessive orderly planner, lol, but I guess what's uncomfortable is how I truly know where God wants me to go for now. Comfortable cannot be my default, and I must push on and lean into Him when I am uncomfortable. He will reveal what He desires as He desires, so, there's not much I can do. And worry doesn't help one bit. It's rather pointless, honestly! So here I go - all or nothing, jumping into the Lord's command! Now would be the time to really not let my praying knees get lazy...<br />
<br />
I have my first "big girl" audition this weekend. I'm real nervous, but also real excited at the same time. Also, it means I get to go home for the weekend, and because of the Verdi run-outs, I get to go home on Thursday! Wahoo! I'm pretty stoked, of course. It's a mini break, which I am in desperate need of. I've reached that point in the semester where I need a break. Pronto! So I'm really ecstatic to go home in a few short days to hang out with my Momma, Sissy, and Grammy! <3<br />
<br />
It's surreal to me that I'm almost halfway through this first semester of my last year of grad school. Insane.<br />
<br />
That is all for now. Off to bed I go! :)<br />
I leave you with photos from the fall festival trip with my friends this weekend! Love to you all! :)<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">So don’t worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today’s trouble is enough for today. </span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span style="font-size: large;">- Matthew 6:34 (NLT)</span></i></div>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZfD2It7yXCDyvbnZrThZpKfHylyWMXwSii6CsFuLVp_n7X6DOCKUdia7aodJQT-4piBkbH7z4x4_GHzo6Wdpq67VUJyaqQzXaHC0vGIjbZ7pLgD5jRfr2ha3fdA6zDaAAfkxpGySKwnO/s1600/115_7256.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJZfD2It7yXCDyvbnZrThZpKfHylyWMXwSii6CsFuLVp_n7X6DOCKUdia7aodJQT-4piBkbH7z4x4_GHzo6Wdpq67VUJyaqQzXaHC0vGIjbZ7pLgD5jRfr2ha3fdA6zDaAAfkxpGySKwnO/s400/115_7256.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was all bundled up to go through the Corn Maze!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj10EVvICxPfacoy-jfExZMIsdJdfNucM7hj_3fW0adS8joUKO0TTclAlEa4hWkGyHxjAuQWdT2yngfLWmDcDYrOvf9zWUxPI_9BVxVDMdRQxp5p9s39erZVIx4VXIVKQ8toXhZ5q1hveP4/s1600/115_7258.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj10EVvICxPfacoy-jfExZMIsdJdfNucM7hj_3fW0adS8joUKO0TTclAlEa4hWkGyHxjAuQWdT2yngfLWmDcDYrOvf9zWUxPI_9BVxVDMdRQxp5p9s39erZVIx4VXIVKQ8toXhZ5q1hveP4/s400/115_7258.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The girls! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh51psUo-7WcTtFDzCrWX8hE5WzOElMdyKDzb5oXzX7iaK2bp00ePbxC4BOrCZjTqajF42WY-XdN-ijI_VnO2gMN7vx6oHGXGEMDnEW5KBqmC-sCM8zqOcbj8Rw8zC8VTMBLTTu6OMU5Xy_/s1600/115_7238.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh51psUo-7WcTtFDzCrWX8hE5WzOElMdyKDzb5oXzX7iaK2bp00ePbxC4BOrCZjTqajF42WY-XdN-ijI_VnO2gMN7vx6oHGXGEMDnEW5KBqmC-sCM8zqOcbj8Rw8zC8VTMBLTTu6OMU5Xy_/s400/115_7238.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Laura!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl9PBvf3DP_tYn3Uk6VuMbL0Io7cFu174DDwFb6MSrX0RMlk5nWu3mPFBcUm0ni1L0omglAOq-iMGICvFhfnl3Oo3rjR6eNIW0c1A7GLNX0T8KKQrP2VsuSsj3d1QLKI0RVIpG05B8Iffv/s1600/115_7264.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgl9PBvf3DP_tYn3Uk6VuMbL0Io7cFu174DDwFb6MSrX0RMlk5nWu3mPFBcUm0ni1L0omglAOq-iMGICvFhfnl3Oo3rjR6eNIW0c1A7GLNX0T8KKQrP2VsuSsj3d1QLKI0RVIpG05B8Iffv/s400/115_7264.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The girls AND Josh! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij37TwEyjEHp09Dc6pjuMYQROqAt3DULzJjm-u4YMNzEUI2JkxF1_cTfKvDDrE_n6l0vHsj0s7mhrVeiGQFB6i1VY5e-zoH7UaoHnV4N0Q9gpRMLyfWxa6uhbAEd5k05nDHeC5CQaGgiWy/s1600/115_7274.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEij37TwEyjEHp09Dc6pjuMYQROqAt3DULzJjm-u4YMNzEUI2JkxF1_cTfKvDDrE_n6l0vHsj0s7mhrVeiGQFB6i1VY5e-zoH7UaoHnV4N0Q9gpRMLyfWxa6uhbAEd5k05nDHeC5CQaGgiWy/s400/115_7274.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Annie and I got PUMPKINS that we picked from the pumpkin patch! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-8633317242415995312012-09-23T23:45:00.002-04:002012-09-23T23:47:36.466-04:00And we're off...Wow! I realized this weekend that school has been going on for 3 weeks and I've had not a second to update my blog! Not that anybody's life can't continue without reading my blog... LOL!!<br />
<br />
What an incredible, scary, upsetting, yet invigorating start to the second year of grad school! It's been like a roller-coaster: with a few of those dang corkscrews thrown in! The most exciting part: I PASSED MY GRADUATE QUALIFYING HEARING!!! Whoo! In grad school here, at the fancy Westminster Choir College, grad students have to do what's called a Graduate Hearing and also a Graduate Qualifying Hearing/Test. At the discretion of the voice teaching, the grad student is able to combine the two into one, and do just one jury if they pass - and that's it! Well, mine was scheduled for the first week of finals in May, but then Grandma Flo passed away and I had to go home for that whole week to be with the family. Therefore, my hearing got pushed back until the second week of school. Which was scary in and of itself because that meant a summer without many opportunities to keep singing and in tip top vocal shape - with my songs rip roarin' and ready to go. Mostly because I was still battling that unknown beast of a health problem all summer long, which left no room to keep my voice in shape - it was just a mess. And so I was so worried about coming back, because it was literally one battle after another with that all this summer, and I was petrified of my jury! Well, after struggling to get my voice back in a decent working shape, and getting my songs back under my belt, and after a week of worrying about whether this was going to go well or not, the Lord carried me through again - and I passed! Unanimously! And all of the comments on the jury sheets were the same things that Professor Thomas and I have been really working on. Oh, what an enormous blessing! Whew! Now it's on to planning my recital and preparing audition repertoire for whatever may come my way!<br />
<br />
My classes are pretty awesome this semester - a bunch of ped track classes, German Lieder, voice lessons, the norm you know? But, another big whopping blessing to start this second year off? I WAS CHOSEN TO BE IN <a href="http://www.rider.edu/wcc/academics/choirs/westminster-williamson-voices" target="_blank">WILLIAMSON VOICES</a>!! It's an auditioned choir that is under the direction of Dr. Jordan. THE James Jordan. Yep - every time I leave rehearsal I have to pinch myself! It is absolutely INCREDIBLE. Those of you who know me from prior to choir college... answer me this question: Do I enjoy choir? HA! And now, I can't get enough of it! Oh my goodness. Our concert is going to be incredible. The website says Nov. 17, but it's actually Nov. 10... (hint, hint...)... :) I am blown away by the opportunity to sing with this incredible choir. This will surely be the cherry on top of grad school, that's for sure!<br />
<br />
Last week was a rough one - just difficult with a few different things that were going on. And my over-obsessive, ridiculous, stressful, self-critical self has problems letting things be and out of sight out of mind. lol. And instead of standing in the power and authority of Christ to let some of the things that hurt me from last week just roll off my shoulders, I allowed them to let me feel completely defeated and absolutely disrespected. And I <i>allowed</i> myself to live in that shame and regret and misery the rest of the week! What a silly waste of my time! You know, we love the pity parties and the self misery, but it's like eating a whole bag of chips by yourself - it feels good while you're doing it, until all is said and done. Let's at least be honest about that! While at Bible Study this past week, and church tonight, something occurred to me that I'd never thought of before. We dove into Ephesians 1:1-14ish, and it's talking about how God <b>chose</b> us because we please Him! That His heart <i>longs</i> for us! Pastor Tim said tonight that in light of that, <i>we </i>have an influence and impact on the heart of God! What! That made me do a double take. I mean, I knew He loved us, delighted in us, and that He welcomes us freely into His courts - but <i>I have an impact on <b>His</b> heart? </i>What is that? Whew! What a POSITION we have in Christ! One of the songs we sang tonight was "In Christ Alone," and when we came across this part of the song I was filled with what I like to call "Holy Spirit Goosebumps" ...<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
And as He stands in victory</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Sin's curse has lost its grip on me</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>For I am His and He is mine</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Bought with the precious blood of Christ</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No guilt in life, no fear in death</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>This is the power of Christ in me</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
From a life's first cry to final breath</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Jesus commands my destiny</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
No power of hell, no scheme of man</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Could ever pluck me from His hand</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Til He returns or calls me home</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><i>Here in the power of Christ I stand</i></b></div>
<b><i><br /></i></b>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
Right now. Tomorrow at 8:30 in the morning. Or two weeks from now, at 5:19pm. <i>Any time</i>, <i>any day</i> I can <b>choose</b> to stand in the power of Christ! To say with authority that these things have no power over me, and I am an adopted daughter of the Lord, and that I can have faith and believe the power of Christ that's in me - to open my arms and receive the blessings that the Lord is showering down on me versus standing in disbelief at not only who He says He is, but also who He says I am! Well let me tell you what, I'm done with that foolishness today. I am a strong, beautiful, fearfully and wonderfully made woman of God and I will no longer let these silly things that the enemy tries to hold over me deter me from accepting the authority of the power of Christ in me! See ya later, disbelief - I'm moving on! :)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This is going to be an important year to recognize that power, and trust the Lord more than ever. Everything is kind of up in the air about what happens next: will I get a job teaching high school choir? Will I have any successful auditions and be accepted into any kind of young artist programs? Will I be living at home and subbing, but still somehow singing? It's all a crazy, confusing, and unclear kind of messy bubble. And you know me - that makes me incredibly nervous. lol. But I have to just take a deep breath, grab God's hand, and say "Okay, Dad - lead me where You wish. I trust You. I'll follow, and if I ask any questions help me to remember to ask 'how' and not 'why,' because You know best! You have a perfect plan, with Your perfect provision, and You're just waiting to reveal it to me one step at a time!" So here I go - I'm holding on tight, and I'm ready to jump in the deep end! <b>I surrender to You, Lord.</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Until the next time I rattle off about my life on end via this blog, I pray that you experience the abundant riches, and glorious grace that the Lord is waiting to lavish upon you in this season of your life! I can't wait to see what He has waiting for us all... are you willing to join me, and to hold on to His hand tight and jump on in the deep end? To surrender your desires and dreams to the Lord on High, who wants nothing but good for you, His precious child, whom He loves and adores and paid the ultimate price for?</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-tab-span" style="white-space: pre;"> </span>Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as He chose us in Him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before Him. In love He predestined us for adoption as sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace, with which He has blessed us in the Beloved. In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace, which He lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight making known to us the mystery of His will, according to His purpose, which He set forth in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to unite all things in Him, things in heaven and things on earth. </i><i>In Him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of Him who works all things according to the counsel of His will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of His glory. In Him you also, when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and believed in Him, were sealed with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the guarantee of our inheritance until we acquire possession of it, to the praise of His glory. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Ephesians 1:3-14 ESV</i></div>
<i><br /></i>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/HcnfT4arZtI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I surrender it all, Lord... I will hold onto You. Lord, have <b>Your </b>way.</div>
<br />Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-14159656759448062992012-06-05T01:20:00.004-04:002012-06-05T01:28:47.497-04:00Running in the midst of standing...This weekend my Mom, Shaina, and I went to see JONAH at SIGHT AND SOUND! (I'm still really excited about it... even though it was now 3 days ago! haha!) It was amaaaaaaaaazing!!!!!!! I LOVE Jonah! Interesting, I know, but it's been my favorite book of the Bible since I was little! I went to a summer VBS kind of thing once in elementary school that was all about Jonah, and then when I learned that I could read it in my "big girl" Bible, not my "Bible for Kids," and do so all by myself, I was in love! :) haha! But still, I just love Jonah! And so I decided to get pumped and ready for Sight and Sound I was going to start listening to the sermon series on Jonah presented by Mars Hill Church! (http://marshill.com/media/jonah) While listening to this sermon series, one of the pastors makes the remark that we are <i>all like Jonah</i>. We're all running in our own ways, from our own Nineveh.<br />
<br />
The more I thought about this immediately, I went "Oh! Yes I understand, but I've not run from the Lord! I stayed in New Jersey and made it through this year! Go me!" ... ha. ha. ha. Aren't we all just so ready to jump up and down screaming "Look at me! Look at me! I did what You said, Lord! I'm good! Yeah!" - except the thing is we're not. Each and every single one of us is just like Jonah! Some kind of hatred burns in our hearts, after all we're only human. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, while I remained in New Jersey, holding fast and true to the vision the Lord has for my life, I was running inside. Running and running and running until I didn't even realize anymore that I was being so disobedient! This whole time I thought I was being obedient by barely living through this first year of grad school, but truly I was as disobedient as they come! I was just like Jonah! (And still <i>am</i>!)<br />
<br />
How often do we hear the Lord whisper on our hearts, "Get up and go..." just like He did with Jonah, and yet we come up with every excuse in the book - from "Well, that wasn't the Lord... I just made it up," to "I don't have the time/money/experience." Which really just makes us think, whether we consciously acknowledge it or not, that we think <i>we</i> know better than <b>God</b>! Now just how absurd is that?! But yet, we continue to choose to live there! At least, I do. Whether I consciously choose to or not, it's just my nasty gross human nature. It's self versus humility! Instead of humbling myself to the point where I say, "Lord, I will put away my self involved nature and my needs and my wants to follow You wholeheartedly and abandon myself into obeying Your Word," I continually fall back into doing my own thing on my own terms.<br />
<br />
I'm so excited to be able to take this time this summer and to reflect on why I put up my fists fighting for the entire year, and battled spiritually the Lord in His plan for me - which, all to my dismay, includes two full years of grad school in New Jersey. I know why I continue to fight - my heart and my family remain in Indiana, in the most marvelous town of towns in Pennsylvania, while I am too far away... I've had such a hard time being okay with that fact. I know, it's a funny thing. It's one of those "growing up" things. But I haven't been able to squash the temptation to want to throw in the towel and run away to Indiana! So instead of quieting my selfish self desires, I've let them run rampant on the inside, while on the outside I've "stayed fast to the Lord's call," only to convince myself that I was doing what He wants and demands of me. So! I know what I need to first do to tackle this disobedience in my life!<br />
<br />
As they pointed out in the Jonah show at Sight and Sound, we each have our very own Nineveh that we're running from. But what I love the most about the very true story of Jonah, is that it mimics the Gospel in the manner that it is a picture of God doing the <b>impossible</b>... like He likes to do! :) Who could live inside the belly of a great fish for 3 days and nights, without the help of the Lord? And who could be crucified, die, and rise again like Jesus did without the Lord's hand in it? It is amazing to me! It gives me goosebumps just to think about it. I want to know that God - the God of the impossible, who loves me more than I can ever imagine! The God who freely pours out His mercy and grace to such an undeserving people... My soul longs for Him, and nothing else will do! And in my moments of disobedience, I am given yet another opportunity to put away self and to run to Jesus - choosing to stand in faith and trust Him, instead of trusting myself. It's so neat how, a whole lot of thousands of years later, we're all still equally able to identify with Jonah and his story. Because, as the pastor at Mars Hill pointed out, we're all just like Jonah. I wonder if you will join me in learning to put away our selfish desires and choosing instead to cling to Jesus and His truth - and instead of running from Him and His call for our lives, whether we might plant ourselves and our trust in His Word, believing every single word and every single promise, believing He will bless us in our obedience!<br />
<br />
What is your Nineveh?<br />
Are you ready and willing to, with the help of the Lord, stop running?<br />
... And instead cling to Jesus?<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>He said,</i><br />
<i>“I cried out to the LORD in my great trouble,</i><br />
<i>and he answered me.</i><br />
<i>I called to you from the land of the dead,</i><br />
<i>and LORD, you heard me! You threw me into the ocean depths,</i><br />
<i>and I sank down to the heart of the sea.</i><br />
<i>The mighty waters engulfed me;</i><br />
<i>I was buried beneath your wild and stormy waves. Then I said, ‘O LORD, you have driven me from your presence.</i><br />
<i>Yet I will look once more toward your holy Temple.’ “I sank beneath the waves,</i><br />
<i>and the waters closed over me.</i><br />
<i>Seaweed wrapped itself around my head. I sank down to the very roots of the mountains.</i><br />
<i>I was imprisoned in the earth,</i><br />
<i>whose gates lock shut forever.</i><br />
<i>But you, O LORD my God,</i><br />
<i>snatched me from the jaws of death! As my life was slipping away,</i><br />
<i>I remembered the LORD.</i><br />
<i>And my earnest prayer went out to you</i><br />
<i>in your holy Temple. Those who worship false gods</i><br />
<i>turn their backs on all God’s mercies. But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise,</i><br />
<i>and I will fulfill all my vows.</i><br />
<i>For my salvation comes from the LORD alone.”</i><br />
<i>- Jonah 2:2-9, NLT</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>All of my life, in every season, You are still God... I have a reason to sing! I have a reason to worship! I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare - God is my victory and He is HERE!</i></div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-69675504746235312422012-05-22T02:16:00.003-04:002012-05-22T02:22:46.219-04:00Scattered reflections on a year gone by...Wow. Every time I sit here and reflect on just everything that has happened in one year I am completely and utterly overwhelmed by all the emotions that overtake me - joy, awe, happiness, shock, content, pain, heartache, confusion... but overall I am filled with a peace like I've never known. Some days I can't believe that I even lived through this year! What a year it has been... Now to prepare for the next year... but for the time being, I can simply rejoice in the fact that I am officially half a master! ;)<br />
<br />
To say that I'm elated that I survived my first year of grad school doesn't even begin to describe just how happy I am! And then to think that amidst the tumultuous waves I still somehow managed to crank out a 3.89 cumulative gpa? Holy moley. Now granted, anyone who knows me knows that I am not quite satisfied with <i>just</i> a 3.89 but when I think back on this past year and the ups and extreme downs I've had, I'll be okay I think this time with a 3.89. :)<br />
<br />
When this year began, I didn't know what to expect - I remember being so excited and over the moon that I was going to be a graduate student at <i><b>the</b> (one and only) </i>Westminster Choir College! I couldn't believe it. And in fact, I honestly didn't believe that it was real until after a week of school... I was waiting for the dream to disintegrate and for me to wake up to reality! And yet, here I am. On the other side of the first year of my graduate studies!<br />
<br />
This year literally started as if I was living in a fantasy world - what with singing in Central Park with Andrea Bocelli, Bryn Terfel, Celine Dion, the New York Philharmonic, and the like just a mere week and a half into school! Wow. In one year I have sung alongside the New York Philharmonic, the Philadelphia Orchestra, and the Berlin Philharmonic in such astonishing places such as Central Park, the Kimmel Center, and Carnegie Hall. Who gets to live a life like this?<br />
<br />
Though alongside the triumphs there have been great devastations and a multitude of troubles as well. I literally have never lived through a more difficult year in my young life... From the housing mess and debacle I lived through at the beginning of this year, to being so deathly ill for months on end, almost being in a situation to lose my scholarship, being so run down and getting sick over and over during the beginning of the spring semester... the list goes on and on. But what I have learned isn't that this has been the year from hell... rather, it has been the year of tremendous blessing and of so much learning on my part. Learning to wait on the Lord and just learning more and more about Him and His faithfulness.<br />
<br />
At one point during my final year at IUP, I woke up to a text before student teaching one day from my Mom that said "I found this verse and it just made me think of you! I can't imagine just how the Lord rejoices and sings over you, my darling!" And the verse she gave me is the verse that has been my strength, when I had no strength at all, this entire year. It's the verse that serves as the inspiration for this blog - and what I cling to every single day.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<span style="color: #2e0004; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif;"><span style="font-size: large; line-height: 28px;"><i></i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #2e0004; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: large;"><i>For the Lord your God is living among you. He is a MIGHTY Savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With His love, He will calm ALL your fears. He will REJOICE over you with JOYFUL SONGS! </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="color: #2e0004; font-family: Georgia, Utopia, 'Palatino Linotype', Palatino, serif; font-size: large;"><i>- Zephaniah 3:17</i></span></div>
</div>
<br />
<br />
What a promise! What strength for us when we feel so utterly alone... which I have felt this year. I've often found myself so discontent here, that I'm so alone, that I left my real friends in Indiana and that's where my heart is... when I was completely neglecting the best friend in the entire universe: the Lord! And what a wonderful Father He is, for He has literally been holding my hand every single step of the way...<br />
<br />
- When I was being attacked physically and mentally in a horrid living situation my first 3 months here, the Lord was right by my side in every single moment. He got me through that time unscathed except for some emotional wreckage, and He completely seamlessly provided me with one of the best living situations I've ever had.<br />
<br />
- When I was so deathly ill, from right after Thanksgiving until early February, He carried me through every single obstacle that stood in my way... He got me through every test, every final, every family party, every doctor appointment, all my multiple antibiotics, all of it. I would literally have not survived if it wasn't for His mighty healing! Though sometimes I still get a little wheezy here and there, I can't even believe how completely He has healed me from that awful sickness.<br />
<br />
- I was in danger of losing my scholarship, since I was so sick I had to take an incomplete for my voice lessons first semester. Policy here is that after four weeks that "I" turns into an "F," which would get factored into my GPA. To maintain my scholarship I had to keep a 3.0 GPA, which for me should be no problem at all. In fact, if my GPA were ever to really dip that low, I would have a heart attack for sure. The night I was waiting on my grades to finalize, I had already (obviously) determined what I needed in each class to have a GPA that wouldn't disrupt my scholarship standing. I sat on my living room floor at home, almost in tears, and said to the Lord, "Okay, God... You know what I need. I know what I want, but You know what I need. I don't like New Jersey, and I really don't know how I feel about school - this semester was the worst I've ever had in my life. But Lord, if You want me to go back, I know You'll see that I won't lose my scholarship, which I fully believe was a blessing from You in the first place. I'm listening, Lord... and I'm waiting. Waiting on You, Father..." When my grades came in and the F was factored in? My GPA was 3.<b>01</b>. Talk about a total God thing! Every time I think about this, I still get goosebumps and am completely overwhelmed by the Holy Spirit! This is the cornerstone of the why I'm still here even when I want nothing more than to be home or in Indiana. I'm here because He has most certainly placed me here!<br />
<br />
These few examples are just big ones among many where I have literally, without a doubt, seen and felt the Lord moving in my midst this year! Most importantly, He gave me a home in a beautiful church family that I never expected... after the housing mess, and losing the church that I was originally intending to attend in spite of it, I was afraid I'd never find a church to call my home. But oh man, what I didn't know was that I would find a church here that means as much to me as Word of Grace in Indiana! Which is more than I can put into words. My church here, my family, has been what's gotten me through the weeks when I could do nothing but cry because I didn't know what I was doing, or how I could make it through another horrific week in New Jersey... Ah! I am so blessed. So, so blessed.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
Reflecting on this year, and all the things I've learned just is amazing... Academically, I've learned so much more than I ever would've imagined! I learned the anatomy and physiology of the voice like I've never known before (and yes, I now know that we do not in fact had 32 vocal folds... hahaha!), I've learned just how to truly read and analyze atonal music (which I never would've thought would've happened!), I've learned how to sing in a way I never thought imaginable, I learned how to SING IN RUSSIAN!, I learned about what the awesome dead guys originally thought about teaching singing... just so much I can't even keep it all in my brain most days! But more than anything, I've learned a little more about just <b>how much Jesus loves me</b>. How tangible His love is, how real HE is in our lives! Even in the little things! Something as simple as "Oh Lord, I'm running so late... please oh please let there be a spot for me in the parking lot!" and the minute I pull in to a completely full lot, one car is leaving making a spot just for me. The little goofy things that really aren't so goofy, Jesus even listens to those requests. I am not sure I'll ever be able to fully comprehend just how much He loves me, but his year has opened my eyes into a great new understanding, however small, of that truth. I can't stop thinking of this song in the midst of this idea of talking about how much He loves us...<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/TCunuL58odQ?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
More than anything, I've learned how important it is to be in constant communion with Him, and how He not only wants that but He <b>longs to spend time with us</b>! I've been continually reminded of this this month especially, since I've been avoiding Him. (I say that in the nicest way possible!) As many of you know, at the beginning of this month, my Grandma on my dad's side passed away after battling leukemia. I was in no way prepared for that at all - I knew to be prepared, and it wasn't just up and out of the blue. But I just - oh man. That just stopped me dead in my tracks. And with all of that to process, on top of it the mess of things with my dad showing up for the first time in a decade, just wowza - talk about some crazy need for major inner healing! And I ran. Ran as far away from God as I could, because I didn't want to deal with any of it. After the year I had barely just lived through, this was like the cherry on top of it all, and I wanted nothing more than to hide away under a rock cuddling with Mr. Pug and staying there forever. But now that I'm on the other side of it all, and it's almost the end of May, I've finally run back as fast as I can into His welcoming and open arms, wanting nothing more than to curl up with Jesus (and Mr. Pug can join too...) because He is the only one who can carry me through. As my friend once shared with me while praying for me at bible study, she said she literally sees Him carrying me over all of these waves of doubt or fear or trouble or whatever it may be, that the Lord is literally carrying me over them all, as He has done time and time again this year, and as He will continue to do so for the rest of my life because He is so good and loves me more than I will ever comprehend.<br />
<br />
I am absolutely overwhelmed by how clearly I can see the Lord in every facet of my life through this past year... at the beginning of my last year of undergrad, I was desperate to have that relationship with Him, to hear from Him, to see Him in my everyday life, instead of just the big things - all of my friends could, why couldn't I? I would pray over and over "Lord, where are You? How can I feel You holding my hand? Hear You whispering in my ear?" And now all I can manage to do is fall to my knees and say "Thank You, Father... Thank You for literally holding me together and carrying me through every single thing this year, for never leaving my side and for whispering to me 'My child, I love you more than you'll ever know - you will get through this, just stay here in My arms and trust Me,' every single minute of every single day..." It is amazing and astonishing to me to think about how much I have learned about the Lord in just a year! But to see just how real and alive He is, and how He is running after me, even when I am ignoring Him... I found this quite the truth when I heard it from Pastor Mark Driscoll in one of his sermons, he said "As long as you try and be tough, and persevere for Jesus, you can't let Him be tough and persevere for you. Jesus is waiting to meet with you in the emotional place that you don't want to go." And it's true! And it's the summary of everything I've learned this year - when I tried to put on my tough girl face, and appear all put together, that's when I realized I needed Jesus to be the tough guy - cause I'm just a little girl from the country who isn't nearly as tough as my miraculous Savior. Why not let Him pull the strings and play the cards? After all, that's what He died for - so that He could do just that very thing, just for me. To cleanse me and make me new and take ahold of my life and bless it abundantly with His unending grace.<br />
<br />
I always get to the end of my blog posts and I have absolutely no idea where I began. Sometimes I tend to wander... :) But I just am in awe as I lay here on my bed thinking about all the things the Lord has done just for me this year... just to remind me of how much He truly loves me, and wants nothing but the best for me. And how He alone is my strength and my joy! I can't ever imagine getting to the point where I will ever feel I know enough about Him to stop spending time with Him, and diving into His Word (Mom - I hope that "Dive Deep" is stuck in your head now! Cause it's in mine! Lol!!)... I can't wait to spend the rest of what will hopefully be a long and glorious life learning as much as I possibly can about my precious Jesus. I am overwhelmed by Him in this moment!<br />
<br />
I hope if nothing else, that from these random crazy quirky blog updates you have been able to see Him moving in my life this year, and that in some way that's helped you learned something about Him that maybe you didn't see before! He's been so faithful to me... Helping me tackle the big things, reuniting me with my brother and sister, carrying my Grammy through her little "stent" (haha, get it Gram?) in the hospital, helping me survive my classes and strengthen my voice, keeping my mother and sister in line (hehehe..) and just literally holding me together when I was sure I wasn't going to be able to make it. Even just from reading my last blog entry to this one, it's amazing to me to see just how faithful He is... even when we can't believe it for ourselves. I called and You answered Lord! Even though I am so undeserving. You are amazing!<br />
<br />
Long story short? I LIVED THROUGH THIS YEAR! WHOOHOO! Even when I thought I was going to die (and quite literally over Christmas there...) I managed to survive! And only was I able to do so because of how much the Lord loves me! I am His daughter! A princess in His mighty kingdom! God is <b>so</b> good, all of the time! <3<br />
<br />
Thank You, Lord. I love You more than words can ever say!<br />
<br />
And also, thank you all for your kind words, your support, and most importantly your prayers as I've struggled to live through this year! You all mean the world to me! And if I could, I'd hug each and every one of you at this very moment.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”)</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,t neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Romans 8:31-39</i></div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-25701399338875804052012-04-15T23:00:00.001-04:002012-04-16T17:48:52.144-04:00A desperate cry for help...Lord,<br />
<br />
There are so many thoughts rolling through my head right now. I can't even really truly comprehend anything at this point. I need to be studying for my Voice Ped test tomorrow and perhaps working on the rough draft for my MUHI Seminar that's due tomorrow night of which I've only written a thesis and an introduction... but I am so overwhelmed by school that I literally feel like I can't breathe. How did everything get to be such a mess? <br />
<br />
I have been reading and studying all weekend for the Ped test, and I feel like I know nothing still. I keep re-reading the readings, and going over my notes, and yet I still feel completely lost. I am so afraid of being wrong, of not doing well, of not getting an A. My grades make me who I am... at least, in some part of my mind I believe this. Who am I? I'm Jess Hann. I get really good grades, and everyone who knows me knows that I am an "A" student. I'm not the most attractive girl, and certainly far from thin, but none of that matters. I get good grades, I graduated from IUP Summa Cum Laude, and to not get As on everything and for every class in Grad School is a disgrace. <br />
<br />
And yet, I'm so much more. I've let getting good grades turn into what I worship, instead of You, Father. I've let myself become completely obsessed with the idea that if I don't get an A then I'm a failure, I'm not good enough. I let it control me, this obsession with having to be "perfect," because if I'm not then not even You will want me. I'm overwhelmed and overtaken by anxiety, so much that I can't focus. I can cry, and that's pretty much all I'm good at anymore.<br />
<br />
Father, I detest New Jersey. I have been nothing but miserable since I've been here - so sick all year, extremely homesick, struggling to keep up with all of my work, barely able to work enough to pay my bills or meet my ideal (and pathetic) ten hours a week, and completely overwhelmed. I started this year living in a situation that made me question whether or not I was a good person or not, and continually played mind games with me, and left me wondering whether it was really an answer to my prayers from You or not. It was the most wretched living situation I've ever been in, and I know You know that I've had some not so hot living situations at IUP. And yet, I continued to stick it out even when I didn't want to, because I knew this was where You wanted me to be. <br />
<br />
I've been living on the outside like everything is okay - everything is perfect because I love You, and You love me, and You have brought me here so there's no reason to worry or fret or be upset. And yet, inside I'm a mess, Lord. Why have You let me be here in the midst of this mess? I'm so miserable, I'm so lonely, and I absolutely have no idea what's going on inside my head half the time. Is this really what You have for me? For me to be here, so unhappy, but yet trying to stay the course because You have showed me time and time again that this is what You have for me? I just don't understand, Lord. I'm <i>desperate</i>, Father. I need to know what You have for me here, why You brought me here of all places. I was so comfortable in Indiana, so happy among my church family, my friends, and my students. I wish every single day I was back there. Life made sense. You were there, holding me together, holding my hand and leading my steps.<br />
<br />
I know You're here, too, Lord. But I can't feel You anymore. I am so bogged down by everything going on, especially my schoolwork, and the lack of my ability to keep up with it, that I can't feel You holding me together - I don't feel Your hand in mine. I can see You moving here, and I hear You speak to me through my amazing friends, like Carola, and especially at Bible Study, but I am so lost here when I'm not surrounded by them. I go to school now with people who don't know You, people who don't immerse themselves in Your Word, and Your Spirit... people who mock me for being so <b>hungry </b>for You. Just last week, because I made a simple comment about how the words that someone used made my insides crawl, how they were offensive, I was told that "Of course - you're holier than the rest of us, I forgot." I am ridiculed for loving You, and not just loving You, but projecting Your love to everyone around me. I'm just that "Jesus girl" who gets made fun of when I leave the table, after I've bowed my head to ask You to bless my meal, or when I've shared that it's because of You that I can even roll out of bed in the morning anymore. Every day I feel like I'm screaming at the top of my lungs, Father. Are You here? Are You holding onto me?<br />
<br />
Through the trials and the sufferings that I'm finding here, I've found it so difficult to calm my thoughts, and calm my nerves, and just rest and live in Your perfect provision and peace that You have freely given me. Even though I know You're here. You're here more than I know! Lord, You have gotten me through every difficult step, every trial, every test, every encounter here. Without You, I am nothing. Literally. You literally hold me together. And yet I've been such a typical self-centered, self-involved child... ignoring You and Your love over and over and over again.<br />
<br />
Lord, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I continue to walk through this place upset and angry with You for bringing me here. I've met some of the most amazing people I'll ever meet here, and made some of the most important friendships that I could have ever asked for. I've been able to perform with some incredible musicians, and given more opportunities to perform with spectacular vocalists, orchestras, and in the most incredible venues, the world over. And I've only been able to do all of this because You have blessed me with the opportunities to do so!<br />
<br />
I'm desperate for You, Father. Desperate for You to help me break this hold that the enemy has on me, this miserable and lonely life I've been walking in. I am so thankful, Lord, that You have put in my life the people who You know I need to help me cling to You, and to point me back to You every time I step off the path. Just tonight during church at NCC, when You spoke through Tim straight to me about living a life without conditions - living a life where serving You is the center, and the goal, and not anything else.<br />
<br />
All I have been doing here is living a life full of conditions and making bargains with You, Lord. I'll stay here <i>if</i> You help me pass this test... I'll maybe be happy here <i>if</i> You don't take my best friend away... I'll be happy here <i>if</i> I can sing well... <i>if if if if if!</i> Lord! When I did stop trusting You and start haggling You??? <br />
<br />
I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll never do quite well enough to make it through this degree. I'm scared that even if I somehow, by Your grace alone, finish, that I'll never find a job. Or that I'll never really be happy - what if I don't get married? What if I don't ever get any thinner than I am now? What if I'll never truly be beautiful? What if you take me somewhere I'm not comfortable? Like now? In New Jersey? What am I supposed to do?<br />
<br />
What IF I could stop all these absurd mind games, and just pour every ounce of my being into Your arms? So that You may calm my fears, and wash away the anxiety, and fill my cup with Your <b>grace</b>? Oh Father. I am so sorry that I have been so concerned with trying to do everything on my own, without Your help. Hellbent on succeeding on my own power, with my own means of doing so, without stopping to ask You to help me. I've been so used to doing things on my own - because the past shows me just how few people I can truly trust, right? I mean, come on. I have a knack for allowing people to use me and abuse me and leave me to put the pieces back together myself. Instead of putting that behind, and instead of leaving it at the foot of the Cross, I keep carrying that in my back pocket. "Well Jessica, you know so and so didn't want anything to do with you because you're really not good enough, and nothing you ever do will make you good enough." No WONDER I am so obsessed with this idea of perfection. I'm so afraid that because of me, because of something I've done, that these people have hurt me. That I'm the problem. <br />
<br />
And so I've brought that persona to New Jersey, too. Well, I'm the problem. I'm not smart enough. I'm not pretty enough. I don't sing well enough. I definitely don't teach as well as so and so, and I really have no idea what they're talking about in class yet I masquerade around thinking that I do. Father! I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that instead of trusting that Your grace is sufficient enough for me, that my identity comes from YOU and You <i>alone</i>, I have let myself believe some diddly squat lie that the enemy has been whispering to me all year long!<br />
<br />
Oh Lord, You have promised to keep me through this. Keep me in Your hand, resting and living this life You've blessed me with happy. Happy and trusting You every step of the way. I let myself get so bogged down, and instead of truly giving it all over to You, I hold on to it and try to control every single part of it. But You promised to take care of it all for me. You know better! All I have to do is come to You, trusting, that You will carry me every single step of the way.<br />
<br />
Thank You. Thank You for letting me be angry, and for letting me come to You, telling You every little thing, even though You already know it. Thank You for never leaving me, even though I've let myself live too long here believing that I'm alone. You have every single second here planned for my benefit, and I know that I will make it as long as I keep myself buried in You and in Your Word. You've never let me go. And You never will. New Jersey or not. And I let myself too easily forget that. Lord, hold on to me so tight that my cheeks turn blue. I need You. Meet me here, Father. I can't do this alone. I've tried all year to keep going on my own strength, and I've snapped under the pressure. It's impossible to do this without You. I thought I was meeting You here, and I thought I was relying on You, but Father, I wasn't anywhere close to letting You lead me. I was still putting conditions on everything! How could I let myself fall into that trap? Wow.<br />
<br />
Father, I'm overwhelmed by the love You continue to pour out to me, even though I have continued to walk around without fully recognizing it. Instead I've been so obsessed with being so completely unhappy, uncomfortable, and miserable here in New Jersey. And if I would have just stopped for a moment, and let Your voice speak to me, I would have heard You. I would have felt You holding me together, in the midst of the storm.<br />
<br />
And You have, Lord - kept me together in the middle of this storm. I will do better from here forward to recognize You in every moment of every day, instead of when it's convenient for me on the weekend, or at lunch. And I will rest knowing that even though I'm not comfortable, and that I'm especially not convenienced by this grad school experience, that I'm able to serve You even more than ever because of it. If I was comfortable and so happy all the time, then would I really need You? You're using this to show me just how faithful You are, Lord! How tight You really do have ahold of me and of my crazy whirlwind of a life. Wow. You continually fill me with Your Spirit, because there is absolutely no way I could have made it this long without You!<br />
<br />
Thank You, Lord. And my precious Jesus - I love You. I'm learning, slowly but surely, to drown out the thoughts and the misleading beliefs that the enemy likes to throw my way. I had a minor major meltdown tonight, tears and all. And I think most of it was that I just feel so lonely, I know You're here, and that You haven't left me alone one bit all year long, but yet I let myself get so engrossed in the obsessions of my grades, and school, and this and that, that I simply let it all overwhelm You in my life - not that it overwhelms You, but that I let all of that overwhelm <b>my</b> recognition of You. <br />
<br />
You are the glue that holds me together. <i>Literally</i>. <br />
I may not understand what I'm doing here, or why You felt it necessary to bring me to this specific place, and suffer through the heartaches that I have here, but Lord, I know that You have a purpose for me. A plan. One that is GOOD. And I surrender it all to You, Father. What You have for me, Lord, I'm here and I'm ready and willing to take it all. I can do it, I can do it because I have Jesus on my side. I can't even begin to understand the depths of Your Love. All I know is that I am so thankful that You make me beautiful. You make me whole. You fill me with love, and let me share that love with others.<br />
<br />
I know this rant started off because I was angry and upset, and it probably doesn't even make sense the whole way through it. But Lord, You know where I am. What I'm going through, and what I need to say to You. I know that You have made sense of it all. It started as a desperate cry for help, Father. For You to help me make sense of it all, of the mess that I find myself in constantly here. And it's ending praising You, thanking You, and loving You for sharing Your glorious love with me. And for letting me curl up in Your lap here, and cry and scream and pull my hair out trying to understand it all, while ever so gently wrapping Your arms around me and pouring out Your love to fill the darkness with Your light.<br />
<br />
I love You so much, Father.Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-18513163116240349952012-03-03T19:14:00.000-05:002012-03-04T00:34:46.638-05:00There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
WOW! What a crazy whirlwind the past few weeks have brought! I'm sorry I haven't blogged in so long - things have really just been ridiculous, but in a good way. :)</div>
<br />
Let's see... where to begin? Well! Not too much has been going on school work wise - just the same old, same old. We had our first huge Voice Ped 2 test a few weeks ago, and by the grace of the Lord, I got an A!! I was not expecting that at all... but what a blessing! And I'm slowly but surely starting to vaguely understand what's going on in our Singing in Russian class. hahaha! Scott's been helping me with my Contemporary Trends theory class, which is all post-tonal theory, and geez louise I really don't know what I would do without him! Makes me miss Mack Hall... and our theory study parties! lol!!! My voice lessons have been going well. Nothing too much going on there, just learning things about my voice I never knew before!<br />
<br />
A lot of big life events have happened since I last got to update! First of all, thank you all for your prayers for Grammy! She's doing extremely well! (And yes... still as sassy as ever! hahaha!) She just went to visit her dr this week, and he said her EKG and everything didn't just look good... everything looked GREAT! :) Thank you, Lord!!! So Grammy's all put together again, :) hehehe!<br />
<br />
A few weekends ago I was blessed with the opportunity to go home on a whim decision and I got to spend time with my brother, who we haven't seen in over 10 years! What an amazing time! We got to meet his wife and daughters, my precious little nieces! I'll tell you what - I love those girls more than words can express! They're the most darling children! We spent Friday night playing in the house, and talking, gabbing, and catching up, and then got to go out to lunch Saturday! (the weekend I was home) It was simply divine, getting to spend that time with them. What a totally amazing and awesome time the Lord granted us together! Now if only our sister Amelia would have been able to join! I guess that just means Katie and I will have to make a trip to Kentucky to visit them all... ;)<br />
<br />
Here are a few pics from our visit with Bubby and his family!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL_Bi34uBv4cKNYlo962Cx_rhFX8smv_VmTxrq-d57elTfjazlkT9Rr-UqYM40V_a2WkGfkFhLtinOKqVkYGVxb0B3Ah1AgsOepjEHXW6JPNprPJSg1SlIGon7-wlMmfIS7b4Ze-PaFWKv/s1600/416883_10100134074575502_23114612_40354737_1498249652_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="383" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiL_Bi34uBv4cKNYlo962Cx_rhFX8smv_VmTxrq-d57elTfjazlkT9Rr-UqYM40V_a2WkGfkFhLtinOKqVkYGVxb0B3Ah1AgsOepjEHXW6JPNprPJSg1SlIGon7-wlMmfIS7b4Ze-PaFWKv/s400/416883_10100134074575502_23114612_40354737_1498249652_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sis, Bubby, and I!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_1Yh5oz1b0_6coKHdK7FZSTomWhdu9-AJUrZlJGb5rrL_Vwwb9kJo6nRv_YGgKoB2WNnIQY9ly6Fd5-d2_M7jEJphzs3vr0SwcoLUI-fz-zP0OwDRpaDb8n9FrYCGeftpoaCQ6MzboZxV/s1600/422935_10100134091306972_23114612_40354790_1425140535_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_1Yh5oz1b0_6coKHdK7FZSTomWhdu9-AJUrZlJGb5rrL_Vwwb9kJo6nRv_YGgKoB2WNnIQY9ly6Fd5-d2_M7jEJphzs3vr0SwcoLUI-fz-zP0OwDRpaDb8n9FrYCGeftpoaCQ6MzboZxV/s400/422935_10100134091306972_23114612_40354790_1425140535_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Us with our nieces!! Arianna, Katie, Me, and Alexis :)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"> </span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBuAr1GGQGtQAYmlqWp4s9DOIEaKmYrxZm5Y_SI1l-KCQHEgmzAqwuEViSaFr1u8-LE162kaDttNCaDhj1qu7Xq69wgFEfvt4qRqdLUxa9344z3fjR5tv53VhJF_AQ05gWDt2lRqOhGdb/s1600/423725_10100134088717162_23114612_40354783_1340379249_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="346" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjVBuAr1GGQGtQAYmlqWp4s9DOIEaKmYrxZm5Y_SI1l-KCQHEgmzAqwuEViSaFr1u8-LE162kaDttNCaDhj1qu7Xq69wgFEfvt4qRqdLUxa9344z3fjR5tv53VhJF_AQ05gWDt2lRqOhGdb/s400/423725_10100134088717162_23114612_40354783_1340379249_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Favorite. Love my siblings <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
That weekend was also special because we got to spend time with Josh, Karen, and Zay on Sunday! They were home for that weekend as well, and so it was overall one of the most precious times I've had this whole new year of 2012! And we got to go to the Credit Union Banquet! So much fun cram-packed into one weekend. It was amazing. Amazing, amazing, amazing! Here are a few more snapshots from that amazing weekend...<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK6LtpnWtDMz9keQrpYkAMxdFTfzzcmmTOwftzD4NFP01SXI_v8Uwe69AjUyAwD5fw9zC1cJ03_OlYkL2lnanq_h3ohkTsoYpa3Pyt5LJQ1PjieCiveWyB17i8VtuaXBZc8jWKgLp9pBRL/s1600/423135_10100134102050442_23114612_40354820_159643130_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="330" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgK6LtpnWtDMz9keQrpYkAMxdFTfzzcmmTOwftzD4NFP01SXI_v8Uwe69AjUyAwD5fw9zC1cJ03_OlYkL2lnanq_h3ohkTsoYpa3Pyt5LJQ1PjieCiveWyB17i8VtuaXBZc8jWKgLp9pBRL/s400/423135_10100134102050442_23114612_40354820_159643130_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My bestest friends in the whole world <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgib6PXTOkNqFnjrhm4tmHYXCth08MlUkzuE1PK1ihJR-x5YXDNWH13pboYKQmTDDeoD8IyXV-FzWxKp52zpusDLYoZHWtH8VutmbWThrb9TcCWN7riBQK947G9dULLYWDAGTXNoF7Fidx/s1600/417299_10100134102918702_23114612_40354837_1509512654_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjgib6PXTOkNqFnjrhm4tmHYXCth08MlUkzuE1PK1ihJR-x5YXDNWH13pboYKQmTDDeoD8IyXV-FzWxKp52zpusDLYoZHWtH8VutmbWThrb9TcCWN7riBQK947G9dULLYWDAGTXNoF7Fidx/s400/417299_10100134102918702_23114612_40354837_1509512654_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sissy lub <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYwHvpFdoy03hrj974IrUfyGCv7qCEatHwVgMXfuw8Ha8QSUrHDKBDOq3084I5c87GSxE_rFAfTSBAElzbRdwa-HidHPtSPRcmEWilmCLVHPKf_-p2UiaSuK3g8kiXi_s4hTiLUtI3Xda/s1600/425764_10100134102554432_23114612_40354830_1824853145_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgFYwHvpFdoy03hrj974IrUfyGCv7qCEatHwVgMXfuw8Ha8QSUrHDKBDOq3084I5c87GSxE_rFAfTSBAElzbRdwa-HidHPtSPRcmEWilmCLVHPKf_-p2UiaSuK3g8kiXi_s4hTiLUtI3Xda/s400/425764_10100134102554432_23114612_40354830_1824853145_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is what happens at the Credit Union Banquet... :) :) hehehe!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw80zicdJPUB043L-pBf6vW2o2LzSDswnpiMW_3W2tvHFDM1i5DavWJ5mPvdmQ8QfI3jiGfxEE0rUMWWh5WWZnF0My7hTKBjg1HfVuvbAEnBoY5F_qNh3qOoNC_uCeV6KKbwdTuOAGwh8r/s1600/407015_10100134110458592_23114612_40354866_674899092_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw80zicdJPUB043L-pBf6vW2o2LzSDswnpiMW_3W2tvHFDM1i5DavWJ5mPvdmQ8QfI3jiGfxEE0rUMWWh5WWZnF0My7hTKBjg1HfVuvbAEnBoY5F_qNh3qOoNC_uCeV6KKbwdTuOAGwh8r/s400/407015_10100134110458592_23114612_40354866_674899092_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Monkey man and Momma! What a kid!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP8Ioohzseq3CvOiLBP_mIOntaDYSD0Pg8zbuC68mPs4xy8dNRnqZ5FF0HNoiyaUFOlC1Y86ZnV9AClPKUSt_eIYznwbzL9KnKFztvMbLN5pgp5KYnjI1urOw72V5ahINhDe_1Q9qMiW7P/s1600/429598_10100134109490532_23114612_40354861_1969712149_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjP8Ioohzseq3CvOiLBP_mIOntaDYSD0Pg8zbuC68mPs4xy8dNRnqZ5FF0HNoiyaUFOlC1Y86ZnV9AClPKUSt_eIYznwbzL9KnKFztvMbLN5pgp5KYnjI1urOw72V5ahINhDe_1Q9qMiW7P/s400/429598_10100134109490532_23114612_40354861_1969712149_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Puzzle time with Jessa! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjML-2KfoJ1I2CTB6qF3jPES5AlKSEYpfshyphenhyphen39Nj6xKT-KEuMM3xXR0ylJwQucW3wN3Tn3u08dq7HBVBikVUpmB6JQM9CbXapkJlVHCLqg4-a5oQezYom6SjrlYhJWmfBQPxs7V9Slw6kV7/s1600/424636_10100134105912702_23114612_40354847_527541404_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjML-2KfoJ1I2CTB6qF3jPES5AlKSEYpfshyphenhyphen39Nj6xKT-KEuMM3xXR0ylJwQucW3wN3Tn3u08dq7HBVBikVUpmB6JQM9CbXapkJlVHCLqg4-a5oQezYom6SjrlYhJWmfBQPxs7V9Slw6kV7/s400/424636_10100134105912702_23114612_40354847_527541404_n.jpg" width="296" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love her so much! One of the most beautiful women I know in the whole wide world.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivjKczCwuktAGWbhCgq1PKxdyW9Uqc2BOfOKavkckxEDEQ5bLKEjoswviU5odx3pQloBu8Rkpf6jfWBW-iTZv6njP8NfWqVynRk0CjOWcFCWmUmseSv7w8cu6Jnafx9n3LTcXZOu-20pG3/s1600/420678_10100134113442612_23114612_40354883_1572751585_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivjKczCwuktAGWbhCgq1PKxdyW9Uqc2BOfOKavkckxEDEQ5bLKEjoswviU5odx3pQloBu8Rkpf6jfWBW-iTZv6njP8NfWqVynRk0CjOWcFCWmUmseSv7w8cu6Jnafx9n3LTcXZOu-20pG3/s400/420678_10100134113442612_23114612_40354883_1572751585_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goofball :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM-t52ouNQo680vMELV52fMctTSiqFLrs0zf-kQLwgvPXnEgiIZFDyZh4_smphxxOcBa2-l7og0D6BuvByhBsRp21ZpuHMpNAWe0BkpCauENuLolAz9FvwAdd6DCVG9QOC45_9f1amRnAf/s1600/425186_10100134111491522_23114612_40354872_1383440131_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="333" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjM-t52ouNQo680vMELV52fMctTSiqFLrs0zf-kQLwgvPXnEgiIZFDyZh4_smphxxOcBa2-l7og0D6BuvByhBsRp21ZpuHMpNAWe0BkpCauENuLolAz9FvwAdd6DCVG9QOC45_9f1amRnAf/s400/425186_10100134111491522_23114612_40354872_1383440131_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I am so blessed! My family is amazing. The end. <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
The other really super awesome exciting thing that has happened since last I blogged was that last weekend I got to sing <b>with</b> the Berlin Philharmonic at CARNEGIE HALL!!! Talk about an amazing experience!! It was one of the most incredible moments of my life - one that I will never, ever forget. We sang Mahler's Second Symphony, the "Resurrection Symphony," and 3 Wolf pieces. There's a link online to listen to the concert from its live broadcast here: <a href="http://www.wqxr.org/#/programs/carnegie/2012/feb/25/" target="_blank">Carnegie Hall Live Broadcast</a><br />
<br />
It was simply a remarkable experience. I came home that night and updated my facebook status with the following: "6 years ago this very month I stepped on stage at Carnegie Hall for the first time to perform with the ACDA All-Eastern Honors Choir, and the minute I stepped on stage I knew music was everything I wanted to do, and that more than anything I wanted to be back on that stage someday. Tonight, the Lord brought me right back to that wonderful place where He made known His plans for me, and tonight I performed again on that precious stage at Carnegie Hall - only this time singing three Wolf pieces and Mahler's 2nd Symphony with the Berlin Philharmonic. The Berlin Philharmonic!!! Wow oh wow oh wow. What an amazing and absolutely breathtaking experience!! God is SO good! ♥" I am still in awe at the entire awesomeness of the whole thing! It doesn't seem real at ALL! I am still just completely overwhelmed by the entire experience. Here are a few photos from that experience!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd9F_uPWqqZr9MZ3o5Ok1a16F4Ey3K-PD2Z28Eu5gO5lRyRAlXgqinZFj0g_DnOpsDQB8KDwcz8s9rp_nn2BygfgBNe1ntLSsCNf4dcouxHJmJxmgaYo0q2I6q_EXMbWX_xHLxI5WAzP1s/s1600/399864_10100141215679672_23114612_40381477_1468271038_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgd9F_uPWqqZr9MZ3o5Ok1a16F4Ey3K-PD2Z28Eu5gO5lRyRAlXgqinZFj0g_DnOpsDQB8KDwcz8s9rp_nn2BygfgBNe1ntLSsCNf4dcouxHJmJxmgaYo0q2I6q_EXMbWX_xHLxI5WAzP1s/s400/399864_10100141215679672_23114612_40381477_1468271038_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Look. This is how close the HORNS I was! AMAZING!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrLfQd4TK9PcdCSQFY7DymXu9yyNGypC1NxrDPkzo13MX_BAglqKL5iU7AZu6gF6tpHmqFAg2VeHu5Zi0sJV1iIGxtMrYaI4ObTJllH9fNbEzjJXJVeHQyKfeumJo02l3f6SGT84J2s0RV/s1600/422849_10100141193324472_23114612_40381286_36545605_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrLfQd4TK9PcdCSQFY7DymXu9yyNGypC1NxrDPkzo13MX_BAglqKL5iU7AZu6gF6tpHmqFAg2VeHu5Zi0sJV1iIGxtMrYaI4ObTJllH9fNbEzjJXJVeHQyKfeumJo02l3f6SGT84J2s0RV/s400/422849_10100141193324472_23114612_40381286_36545605_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sir Simon Rattle himself! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAWV5Y4EuLRCWYed8IlP8RO7MxrKyJIGVrbzj5XnNI28aGwoi_4PJGa14_BJlfx44DY4zyj5ER3Hed1HchJl6zpNO5JP_XX1xz2MMlCWuvrYIHnE8c19R9YDXH2rHPWHs4JVq7Sm9eDHaP/s1600/397127_10100141227331322_23114612_40381626_639313662_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAWV5Y4EuLRCWYed8IlP8RO7MxrKyJIGVrbzj5XnNI28aGwoi_4PJGa14_BJlfx44DY4zyj5ER3Hed1HchJl6zpNO5JP_XX1xz2MMlCWuvrYIHnE8c19R9YDXH2rHPWHs4JVq7Sm9eDHaP/s400/397127_10100141227331322_23114612_40381626_639313662_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SOOOOOO COOL!!!!!!!!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju8oahlNLzNnSA0LzUB6MONkMFCchoBcg9gCo-QAX4oOe-GZoYeK_9-pKZLLBTriBltMxJ2la2QVp2pcMjAd7Sn0f9KtFI8EiaCBxH9432Un179gxTrgKEyj5zHczav5LkGccRwdOj0un1/s1600/408029_10100141238009922_23114612_40381753_522377786_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju8oahlNLzNnSA0LzUB6MONkMFCchoBcg9gCo-QAX4oOe-GZoYeK_9-pKZLLBTriBltMxJ2la2QVp2pcMjAd7Sn0f9KtFI8EiaCBxH9432Un179gxTrgKEyj5zHczav5LkGccRwdOj0un1/s400/408029_10100141238009922_23114612_40381753_522377786_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Why yes, I am an artist performing at Carnegie Hall... Awesome!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib4kbR1ryqgv0rN26gbvTOjzj4fm8xxGQQs2jD9w_P_9xuGGFEWXEjV12XKuhHHYC6wn7CDW4KTqfkiaBPW0hFhNHv7HOHWLcUnUMk9N6r3IqVLQRwfQaSuECtxpBuBscEhBbCmK_F0O6I/s1600/425742_10100141236747452_23114612_40381748_734462714_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEib4kbR1ryqgv0rN26gbvTOjzj4fm8xxGQQs2jD9w_P_9xuGGFEWXEjV12XKuhHHYC6wn7CDW4KTqfkiaBPW0hFhNHv7HOHWLcUnUMk9N6r3IqVLQRwfQaSuECtxpBuBscEhBbCmK_F0O6I/s400/425742_10100141236747452_23114612_40381748_734462714_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The amazing place itself!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFXY9D2D91IrtK52Zc013W1hNK3mKZe0XfhKGDHFL4usDyZrwVSu_L9w2EiqFAgsGSS5Ep5DXgv990dahJM35lo97pXvnW4DXOiIfyJrAi5Ky3TUklW0JfzXMWV_CqgWHvgEx-oVe6Ds06/s1600/418544_10100141232740482_23114612_40381699_579481366_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFXY9D2D91IrtK52Zc013W1hNK3mKZe0XfhKGDHFL4usDyZrwVSu_L9w2EiqFAgsGSS5Ep5DXgv990dahJM35lo97pXvnW4DXOiIfyJrAi5Ky3TUklW0JfzXMWV_CqgWHvgEx-oVe6Ds06/s400/418544_10100141232740482_23114612_40381699_579481366_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">SOLD OUT CONCERT! Love it!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQmQ7K6xmzdq175lKjnUgmXBz036rT8gWWGBcpIZiy18ZSaJd1-rvEQe0mdSaN5-Sx4FBF6kVMcZtE22ZpTdE0kECFNCvUog7TSOO5vZMS6uxq5AaDM_UJU4piTj-QxdXp9GCl57VEshNB/s1600/424572_10100141226473042_23114612_40381612_399410079_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQmQ7K6xmzdq175lKjnUgmXBz036rT8gWWGBcpIZiy18ZSaJd1-rvEQe0mdSaN5-Sx4FBF6kVMcZtE22ZpTdE0kECFNCvUog7TSOO5vZMS6uxq5AaDM_UJU4piTj-QxdXp9GCl57VEshNB/s400/424572_10100141226473042_23114612_40381612_399410079_n.jpg" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of my best friends here! Other first year grad girls, who are simply wonderful! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNz8czFKmHY0bpvGOKKrILTfCySktaA1CQ69aoI5QEcU_sobHIT2wX5lXwwvYsy9cE016Fx0qEzryk5-YslwSiBkZ_WDGjFqv5YrImkmx69eFST-t39oHDJyMSBvrPie5uoTNzGcvTVgA/s1600/396294_10100141193289542_23114612_40381285_166029204_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="263" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwNz8czFKmHY0bpvGOKKrILTfCySktaA1CQ69aoI5QEcU_sobHIT2wX5lXwwvYsy9cE016Fx0qEzryk5-YslwSiBkZ_WDGjFqv5YrImkmx69eFST-t39oHDJyMSBvrPie5uoTNzGcvTVgA/s400/396294_10100141193289542_23114612_40381285_166029204_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Simply breathtaking!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNZs802ZPriz_DJQFBp1rF5tr7tjomvKpYrP2xp40dgLn693ldbQTBQ14q9IUtbzehvo79_jScZWGEoqYLYnQVXeHpg971Ab7EHiqHFCDhzTXM-4qB7Z3Q_Z8vJ84xIoPXeAHGe5J4NDb/s1600/418967_10100141250360172_23114612_40381867_1859009913_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEirNZs802ZPriz_DJQFBp1rF5tr7tjomvKpYrP2xp40dgLn693ldbQTBQ14q9IUtbzehvo79_jScZWGEoqYLYnQVXeHpg971Ab7EHiqHFCDhzTXM-4qB7Z3Q_Z8vJ84xIoPXeAHGe5J4NDb/s400/418967_10100141250360172_23114612_40381867_1859009913_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I get goosebumps every time I look at this picture...</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbXTKgHP2KnEPTtfejthR41U6EpdS8CArcGzv0Ork18zQIBcJdJzPUygthAWnV5M8d-s1AEUKQzOK9O3BdLZiZwJkjnl3Kxdoa5AgrWvN2RmHlQ2u-0_fVIKbV70smeMoXFstHlEkiGYbu/s1600/421270_10100141197570962_23114612_40381361_1110459653_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbXTKgHP2KnEPTtfejthR41U6EpdS8CArcGzv0Ork18zQIBcJdJzPUygthAWnV5M8d-s1AEUKQzOK9O3BdLZiZwJkjnl3Kxdoa5AgrWvN2RmHlQ2u-0_fVIKbV70smeMoXFstHlEkiGYbu/s400/421270_10100141197570962_23114612_40381361_1110459653_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">You can see me on stage there! If you look to the left, right behind the orchestra in the first row, I'm the first one from the left! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
I just can't even put into words how phenomenal this month has been! Getting to spend time with my brother, meet my nieces, see and hug and love my family, sing with the Berlin Philharmonic at Carnegie Hall WITH Sir Simon Rattle conducting, survive my schoolwork and voice lessons for the most part... I just am in awe again at how amazing the Lord has been, and how He has blessed me! At Bible Study this week, we spent some time afterward singing some hymns because we're nerdy singers like that! lol. But it made me think of my most favorite hymn in the world, In the bulb there is a flower. The text is:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In the cold and snow of winter there's a spring that waits to be,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>There's a song in ev'ry silence, seeking word and melody.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>There's a dawn in ev'ry darkness, bringing hope to you and me.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
What a living truth this text has literally been in my life, especially with regards to school! I've been so drained and just exhausted from everything going on, constantly going in the back of my mind "you know Jessica, you have a degree... you have two degrees already, one of which allows you to hold a full-time job in the public school system teaching music, which you love to do... why in the world are you putting yourself through this misery of grad school and going into more school debt?" ... The answer? I'm trusting the Lord. And I'm waiting on Him by serving Him and trusting where He's put me! I don't know why yet, and I don't know what will come of my time here, but I know without a doubt that He loves me, that I am His cherished daughter, and that His plans for me are good. "There's a song in every silence, seeking word and melody." And I am waiting, in the silence, to find the words and melody to my time here in Princeton! It makes me think of how everyone who's not Christian thinks that being Christian and once you are Christian, life is so easy. Ha! They're so silly. Life still has its challenges, all of which God uses for His good, but it's not some magic recipe to make all the bills and the miseries of life go away. It simply makes life have meaning, and go from being lonely to being filled with Christ! I love being able to choose to stand firm on God's Word, trusting that He will meet me exactly where I need Him, without a shadow of a doubt, every single time. I have just been completely overwhelmed at how much I have seen the Lord bless me and meet me these past few weeks! What I've learned thus far, as February has come to a close, is that He is BIGGER than everything and anything else that, in the moment, may seem like a huge obstacle. I am His cherished and precious daughter who He loves more than words could ever express and He will carry me through everything! Just like the hymn says, "In our doubt there is believing ... unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see." While we may not exactly know what the Lord has for us in this current season of our life, we do know that through our believing, it is going to be something miraculous and good. And that He alone knows what He has planned for us, and if we just put to death our fear and doubts and worries, and put all our strength into trusting the Most High, He will reveal to us what He has for us exactly at the right time, when we need to know. Because as He's shown me time and time again, He will most assuredly meet us exactly where we need it, every single time. What a truth! I love Him so very much. :)</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> Trust in the LORD with all your heart </b></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> and lean not on your own understanding; </b></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b>in all your ways submit to Him, </b></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> and He will make your paths straight.</b></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">- Proverbs 3:5-6 (TNIV)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b>Roll your works upon the Lord [commit and trust them wholly to Him; He will cause your thoughts to become agreeable to His will, and] so shall your plans be established and succeed.</b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">- Proverbs 16:3 (Amplified)</span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> Though the fig tree does not bud </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> and there are no grapes on the vines, </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b>though the olive crop fails </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> and the fields produce no food, </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b>though there are no sheep in the pen </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> and no cattle in the stalls, </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b>yet I will rejoice in the LORD, </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> I will be joyful in God my Savior.</b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> The Sovereign LORD is my strength; </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> He makes my feet like the feet of a deer, </b></span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><b> He enables me to tread on the heights.</b></span></i></div>
</div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;">- Habakkuk 3:17-19 (Amplified)</span></i></div>
</div>
<div>
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Here's a video of me singing in Studio from earlier this semester! Sorry it's blurry!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/JK2zfSqXOw4?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<i>Allerseelen</i>" by Richard Strauss</div>
<br />Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-1072983542245432692012-02-05T13:04:00.004-05:002012-02-05T13:12:57.279-05:00A new approach to life...What a week this has been! I'll tell you what - I'm never quite sure what the Lord has in store for me on a day to day basis in this crazy place! And it's only 2 weeks in... and I've already got SO much homework! Whew!! I feel like I just barely get caught up with everything I have to do, and then before I know it I'm swamped all over again! Things have been a little crazy though with Grammy being in the hospital this past week. I can't thank you all enough for your prayers! The crazy ol'bat is doing just fine and is as sassy as ever! (like that Gram? hehehehe! love you!)<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
Nothing really too fancy has been going on here this past week... just the usual: class, work, practicing, repeat, repeat, repeat! :) lol. I was thinking about dropping this Singing in Russian class because it's absolutely insane. I can't even last 10 minutes into class without being totally lost and confused! But thankfully my friend Sara has kind of turned into my unofficial tutor, even though it's brand-new to her also, she's like a language genius and it's not nearly as scary to her! I do feel kind of bad though, because I sat next to her last week and kept having to bother her with questions because I was so very lost and confused! haha. Go figure!<br />
<br />
My voice lessons have been going well! I feel like my voice is finally starting to fit into the mold of what we were working on establishing last semester before I got so sick. I sang in studio last week, and have a video from it which I'll post at the end of this blog, but I must forewarn you - it's not spectacular in the least! It's just a mere idea of what my voice will begin to sound like. I was nervous, and so I wasn't locked into the solid technique we're building, which is really apparent in the beginning. And I breathed in a few wrong places, which was just silly! And there are other nit-picky things I won't bore you with...but as a whole, for those of you who know my voice and where it's coming from, you may be able to hear the neat new changes!<br />
<br />
Moving past that! lol. I'm really enjoying my Music History Seminar on Rachmaninoff and Tchaikovsky! My homework for this week was to listen to Tchaikovsky's 1st Symphony with the score... Talk about amazing homework! :) This band geek is totally in heaven listening to these amazing orchestras perform his works... and holy cow it makes me miss INSTRUMENTS! If there was one thing, more than anything, that I would change about this school? I WANT BAND BACK! lol. I love singing, and I love choir here, but hello - I love band. It's just weird going to a school and never hearing any instruments around! With the exception of course being the pianists and organists who are phenomenal here. But still. Band. Miss it. Want it back. Sigh. I'm done now. lol.<br />
<br />
I had some awesome times spent with friends this week - Friday night Carola and I sat around like the nerds we are watching sermons all night from Mars Hill Church! It was AWESOME! :) lol! And then last night my friend Annie and I got Chinese and beer and watched a movie! Amazing girly Saturday night! Gosh, I have some great friends here!<br />
<br />
Bible Study was great this week! It was at our Pastor's house, which is beautiful! My friend Carola who usually hosts us all at her apartment was on a ski trip with the campus ministry she works with, so off to Tim's we went! It was really just a blast because not only did we have an amazing study time, but we also had an amazing chatty time talking about singing and being voice nerds! hahaha! Oh it was such a blast!<br />
<br />
It got me thinking though - we were talking Thursday night at Bible Study about prayer. And we were reading the story in Acts where Peter and John return to their friends and family after being imprisoned, and specifically examining their prayers immediately following that incident. And all I could think about through that passage was how confident and how boldly they prayed! It was amazing to really see! So then it got me thinking about the passages in Scripture where it talks about how we are to approach the throne of the Lord confidently and boldly, knowing that He listens to us and hears our every prayer! Hello - that's one of those big "aha!" moments... that I don't think I will ever not be completely overwhelmed by! How amazing is that! We, the lowly sinners, can approach the God of the Universe with <b>confidence</b>?? Not just to be confident in our prayers and requests, but to be confident in knowing that He hears us? And not just hears us, but really is listening to every little thing we say? Wow! What a position we have been given in Christ! To be able to do this! Seriously. It gives me goosebumps every time I think about it.<br />
<br />
So then this really got me thinking about how if I can approach my Father in Heaven with such confidence, then why can't I approach my every day life with the same confidence? Now I'm not saying to be self-centered and over-confident, but just with the same confident humility that I bring to the Lord in my prayers. I find this completely mind boggling! Especially for this girl - the girl who has never been confident... in anything! I mean seriously. You're talking to the girl who's been teased her whole life about anything and everything - the girl who, when she finally was allowed to shave her legs in 6th grade was approached about it by two girls who looked at her and said "Wow! I didn't know fat girls could shave their legs!" ... Yep. That'd be this girl they were talking to. And I mean the list goes on and on, which eventually just led me to be completely devoid of any kind of self-confidence at all. I looked in the mirror and all I saw was the ugly fat girl that I'd been so teased about. It really just blows my mind when I think about it! And it really made me stop and think about all of this being tied together when earlier this week my dear friend Clarisse and I were talking about this and she said to me that "You know, some days you just really have to stop and look in the mirror and think 'Dang! I do look good! Wow!'" ... and it made me giggle, because me? Think that? Huh-uh.. No way! But then, I'm told to "confidently and boldly approach the throne of the Lord" because He loves me and listens to me? What?! Now wait a minute - if I can confidently and so boldly approach GOD, how come I can't confidently and boldly approach my life? Just in the every day? Well, that's just silly! I should be able to take that confidence and apply it to all areas of my life! In my singing, in my studies, in my relationships, in everything! I mentioned earlier about being nervous in my video of studio class, and that I wasn't locked into the solid technique because of it - my teacher said that after I sang that I wasn't "confident in my technique" to be able to do the piece well, that at the beginning my voice suffered because of that lack of confidence. DUH! Jessica, wake up here and see what the Lord is showing you! I am a child of God - I am a beautiful and precious child of the Most High! And the life that He calls me to live is a life confident of who He has made me! Which up until now, I've been severely lacking at! (or in... here we go with the grammar thing... and my lack of understanding it! hahaha!) But seriously! What a position I can <b>choose</b> to stand in! And to carry out in my daily life. I literally am sitting here shaking my head - because I will never understand just how much the Lord loves us, and will be continually overwhelmed by His goodness! Talk about something else!<br />
<br />
I am a precious, beautiful, and unique child of God - and with that, I will confidently and boldly live out the life to which He has prepared just for me. Wow!<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">In Him and through faith in Him we may approach God with freedom and confidence. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">- Ephesians 3:12 (NIV)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace (the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners), that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-timed help, coming just when we need it]. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">- Hebrews 4:16 (AMP)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;"><br /></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">And this is the confidence (the assurance, the privilege of boldness) which we have in Him: [we are sure] that if we ask anything (make any request) according to His will (in agreement with His own plan), He listens to and hears us. </span></i><br />
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: purple; font-size: large;">- 1 John 5:14 (AMP)</span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: blue;"><b><br /></b></span></i></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOmXPjoo4XWmPEYajlugZVtGbwdROBjXruNgHXpzR1vkRoedL1WTwvxKqVAuBgp5I-aADMWHZ4CC_02YqFW64pP2DyM_HL-ZeBzvhvjTOQ8bwsZnLZpCICN5WM4qsbBrl8BIQe1PQqn8Op/s1600/photo.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOmXPjoo4XWmPEYajlugZVtGbwdROBjXruNgHXpzR1vkRoedL1WTwvxKqVAuBgp5I-aADMWHZ4CC_02YqFW64pP2DyM_HL-ZeBzvhvjTOQ8bwsZnLZpCICN5WM4qsbBrl8BIQe1PQqn8Op/s400/photo.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Carola and I!!! :)<br />
<br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/LBVaHSspnmI?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Fleur jetée" </i>by Fauré</div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-28794714443221954692012-01-29T16:01:00.003-05:002012-01-31T21:23:10.332-05:00Remaining Faithful...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Well... I'm back in Princeton!!! Surprise, surprise! lol. Though to be honest, when I left here in December to come home for break, I was absolutely unsure of whether I was going to return or not. My first semester here was just an absolute nightmare in so many ways, and I wasn't really sure if this was where I wanted to be. So many things were left up in the air academically, because I was forced to take an "Incomplete" for my voice lessons since the entire month of December I was sicker than a dog. (Which by the way, I have finally for the most part been able to get over! After 4 rounds of antibiotics, a steroid, a chest x-ray, and a heroic combination of Mucinex Extra Strength, Robitussin, Delsym, Nyquil, and Mucinex DM... whew!) And at Rider, the "I" turns into an "F" after 4 weeks, which gets factored into my GPA. And for my academic scholarship, I have to maintain a 3.0 GPA every semester, which I thought was not going to be an issue! Well, thank the LORD that I was able to work my tail off and get all A's and an A- for the rest of my final semester grades, because with the F factored in there now for my voice lessons, my GPA is... *drum roll please* ...3.01! Wow! That still absolutely blows my mind. So what it came down to, was when I learned about this whole GPA debacle, I asked the Lord, I said "Father, please show me whether or not You want me to return to Princeton. I know I don't want to, but if it's where You want me, Father, I'll go. I trust You, and I know that the plans You have for me are good, as Your Word says, Lord. Show me, Lord, and let me know that it's from You." ... Talk about the Lord showing me that this is what He has for me! My GPA now will not affect my scholarship, and I took that as the Lord telling me to get my butt back here, right where He put me! Now, before you wonder how me - Jessica Hann, perfectionist and obsessor over grades - is dealing with an F, let me tell you! All I have to do is give 2 studio performances for my voice teacher and she will change my grade! That is how I am dealing with such a ridiculous letter on my transcript... :)</div>
<br />
My break was absolutely stupendous! I spent so much time with my family, both at home and in Indiana, and I even got to surprise my kids at their HS Choral concert! It was so amazing! I miss those silly IHS kiddos every single day! And mainly, I slept... A LOT! I've never been so sick in my life as I was for the past month and a half. But it was amazing to be able to rely on the Lord for healing, and to see Him work faithfully in my life through it. Christmas was beautiful!!!!!! I've seriously got the best Momma in the world, the most beautiful sister in the universe, and the most phenomenal family and friends ever known. Goodness me! What a blessing!<br />
<br />
And now I am back... in the midst of the chaotic academic life of a first-year graduate student at Westminster Choir College. The first week has really been great. My classes are ridiculous - super hard, but at the same time I'm super excited about them! Especially Ped 2, which is all about the methodology of teaching voice! Whooohoooo!!! What I came here for in the first place! :) I'm also taking a Music History Special Topics called "Russian Dreams" just on Rachmaninoff and Tchaikovsky, which contrasts well with my Performance Elective - "Singing in Russian" ... whew! So much Russian!<br />
<br />
I'm also doing Symphonic Choir again! I have never loved choir so much in my entire life! Let me rephrase that - I've never loved singing in choir so much in my life! Because I have loved choir this much, when I was student teaching! This semester, Symphonic Choir has the opportunity to sing at Carnegie Hall with the Berlin Philharmonic doing 2 huge Wolf works and Mahler's 2nd! And what's even more awesome, is that I was chosen to sing in the choir for it!!!! I'm so excited!!!!! :) First Bocelli Choir with the NY Philharmonic, then the Brahms Requiem with the Philadelphia Orchestra, and now Mahler and Wolf with the BERLIN Phil?????? DUDE.<br />
<br />
Other than that, not much has been going on! I've been working in the music library again in my grad assistantship and spending time with my church family here! I am so blessed to have such an amazing family here. Last night a group of us from Bible Study got together and had pizza and watched the movie "Courageous" ... WHAT AN AMAZING MOVIE! Of course, I cried the whole time, but it was so wonderful!!! :)<br />
<br />
But alas, it is time for me to get back to my gazillion amounts of homework! It's Sunday, so I'm lounging around working on my homework after having slept it, perfected my omelette making skills, and doing my laundry! I have church this evening, which I'm always excited about, and then tomorrow starts the hectic crazy busy week again!<br />
<br />
I miss home terribly, but I'm feeling ever more content being here. Last week at church, Pastor Nate talked about remaining faithful, and being faithful right where you are - exactly where God wants you. And that really had to have been divine intervention, literally I can just see the Lord pointing His finger at me and saying "Jessica! Listen up! Listen, listen, listen and stop thinking you know better than me, missy! I have a plan for you!" It was an amazing message, and it made me even more thankful for such a loving Father, who wants nothing more for me than to confide in Him and trust Him with the plans He has laid out for me even before I was me! So I am going to take that and run with it this week - I am going to work on <i style="font-weight: bold;">remaining faithful</i>, resting in the truth that the Lord has placed me exactly where He wants me, and His amazing provision is all I need because He will provide for my <i>every</i> need!<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 10px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 10px; font-size: large;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.</span></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 10px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 10px; font-size: 13px;"><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif;">~ 1 Thess. 5:17-18</span></i></span></div>
<br />
<br />
I don't have many new pictures, just 2! ... that are coincidentally food related. LOL!<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrKqSS8xFvVo-eHrpHJVdnna4trSaiR9uvFMNcm2FxXCr8K4ZseF_uSeuidCvwNQIrO-KZgUakCRPAlT33IjFJwbvvv_qqDH_ivsmEUQVyiJ_sEnL_CEaxS4axBvaJlACK-wwc5aECWBB8/s1600/404406_10100103911317912_270337168_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgrKqSS8xFvVo-eHrpHJVdnna4trSaiR9uvFMNcm2FxXCr8K4ZseF_uSeuidCvwNQIrO-KZgUakCRPAlT33IjFJwbvvv_qqDH_ivsmEUQVyiJ_sEnL_CEaxS4axBvaJlACK-wwc5aECWBB8/s640/404406_10100103911317912_270337168_n.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Friday night I went over to my friend Carola's place and we had dinner and then went out for dessert! Which of course = ice cream!!!!! :) So I got Nutella ice cream... Yes, NUTELLA ice cream! It was amazing! And I had Reese's peanut butter cups blended in!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiit_WLNiIkMWkHCc87QGmPO6RRciRdXXFDIUN0IQ0GhNozwEyxt4v4gvZ7DfNJ7KqAEiKXbb4wEMBT1wNPT8Jam7gmsZVp81YeqLwuKBzMDOQTzc7Nm8XijVO_HNOybS8KDzruH-NE2hOk/s1600/402342_10100103912295952_23114612_40277855_249630909_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiit_WLNiIkMWkHCc87QGmPO6RRciRdXXFDIUN0IQ0GhNozwEyxt4v4gvZ7DfNJ7KqAEiKXbb4wEMBT1wNPT8Jam7gmsZVp81YeqLwuKBzMDOQTzc7Nm8XijVO_HNOybS8KDzruH-NE2hOk/s640/402342_10100103912295952_23114612_40277855_249630909_n.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I have finally perfected my omelette making skills! THANKS MOM!!!! :D</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-17298204579234198982011-12-11T15:39:00.001-05:002012-01-31T21:22:43.148-05:00November has come and gone...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Hello, hello, hello! :)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: -webkit-auto;">
<br /></div>
I am so sorry it has been literally over a month since I've had a chance to update you wonderful friends and family I have who take a few seconds to catch up with me via this blog! Things have been absolutely INSANE! Which is clearly why I haven't updated my blog in so long! Let's see. The last time I updated, we were getting ready to sing the Brahms at the Kimmel Center with the Philadelphia Orchestra. Talk about an AMAZING opportunity!!! It was crazy! We had 3 performances that were just breathtaking every single time. I am literally still amazed at the opportunities that I have been given since starting school here! I mean really, in less than two months, I sang with both the New York Philharmonic and the Philadelphia Orchestra... talk about crazy! Our soprano soloist, Dorothea Röschmann, was absolutely AMAZING and I got my picture taken with her! And the conductor, Maestro Yannick Nezet-Seguin, was absolutely remarkable - he did the entire Brahms from memory, with no score! I just - wow. That man has such an enormous and remarkable love for what he's doing that it just pours out of every single thing he says and does. It was simply absolutely inspiring to work with him!<br />
<br />
And then! The weekend after the Brahms I FINALLY MOVED!!! :) The good ol'Scott Ziegler made his first appearance to Princeton to help me move and oh my gosh, I'm so thankful! Talk about a crazy busy weekend... I'm not sure how I got anything done school wise, because it was crazy trying to get moved out of the old place and into the new! But alas, I now have a new amazing home that I am so thankful for, and somewhere where I am not treated like a constant plague. It's such a great thing!<br />
<br />
Then the NEXT weekend, a few girlfriends and I went to New York City for the weekend to go to the Metropolitan Opera, sightsee, and to go to the Hillsong Church! Talk about an AMAZING experience! Wow! I got to ride the train for the first time ever, which was super exciting! lol. And then also we got to spend the weekend with my friend Anna, who I was so blessed to be able to spend time with when I was at IUP! It was SO STINKING GOOD TO SEE HER! Oh my goodness. And the whole entire weekend was just absolutely phenomenal! Saturday when we got there, Karisa and Sara went to go see the Bodies exhibit, so Carola and I just strolled all around NYC literally for like 5 hours! hahaha. I'm pretty sure we managed to make it through all of Central Park... it was such a blast! And then that night we went to see Rodelinda at the Metropolitan Opera! OH MY GOSH IT WAS AMAZING! Renée Fleming was the lead! And I was in heaven getting to see the very woman who fostered in me such a love of opera and classical music sing on stage with my very eyeballs! It was so cool. AND THEN I GOT TO MEET HER! And we literally had like a 5 minute conversation! She was so excited I went to IUP because she was born in Indiana! And then I was even more excited, because she was excited, and it was this whole awesome ball of excitement! hehehehe! Then we were up bright and early to go to the Hillsong Church that Sunday morning, and to our surprise Brooke Fraser was there leading worship! It was just - wow. I am literally speechless thinking about all the amazing things that happened that weekend! I took a bajillion pictures, all of which I immediately put on facebook! :)<br />
<br />
We only had 2 days of school then once we got back from NYC before I got to head home for Thanksgiving break! I'm telling you, these past few weeks have been so absolutely crazy and I am shocked I got anything done! hahaha! Which is why I haven't had even the slightest second to update this crazy blog! Thanksgiving was so bittersweet. I got to take my wonderful friend Karisa home with me, and what a whirlwind tour of home that was for her! (As you can imagine... hehehe!) We had such a blast and such a crazy busy week, full of so much laughter and so much fun! Wednesday we got to spend some time with Jenner, Sean, and Larry, all of which was a blast! It still isn't real to me that Sean Cogan is my high school choir director. I love it! :) And then Thursday was THANKSGIVING and SO MUCH FUN!!!!! Oh I love my family. :) Friday, I went Black Friday shopping for the first time EVER! Which was crazy and scary and fun all at the same time! hahaha! Then Saturday we got to relax for a bit, go to the Christmas parade, and spend some much needed time just hanging around the house. :) And then before I knew it, it was time to go back to New Jersey!<br />
<br />
And so then we came back. And I got insanely sick. I'm still fighting whatever it is I got. It seriously came out of nowhere. We got back from break Sunday, and Monday I started with some crazy cough - swore to myself I wasn't getting sick, and then Tuesday woke up to realize I sounded like an 80 year old asthmatic man who still smoked a pack of cigarettes a day. It was nuts! So pretty much the past 2 weeks, all I've been able to do, is get out of bed long enough to go to my classes and then come home and sleep. That is quite literally all I have done. I've missed so much work, which kills me because I'm going to be gone without a chance to work for a month, but my boss is just so great! (Both of them!) Rena, my supervisor, told me that she thinks I just got so sick because I wanted to make her worry! lol. She's been telling me she's now become my mother away from home... oh, I love that woman! I called my doctor, got an antibiotic, took it in its entirety, slept like it was my job, ran my humidifier on overdrive, and did everything that one is supposed to when they're as sick as I was. I have a doctor's appointment for when I get home this week, and so hopefully we'll have some answers then! I'm just kind of riding on knowing that whatever is going on, the Lord will keep me in His hand, as healthy as I need to be whenever He decides! And that He'll keep me going enough until I can get home to my Momma who will infinitely make everything better. <3 (And Grammy, too!)<br />
<br />
Needless to say, the past 2 weeks have been really hard - trying to finish everything I've needed to for school, trying to find energy to do what I need to do, all amidst this awful sickness. I don't ever remember being this sick, except for when I was little and in the hospital with croup or during 6th grade when I had tonsillitis once a month until they took those suckers out. So that too has made this extremely difficult. And on top of being sick, there have been some things here that have completely broken my heart, without really a better way to say it. Things that have left me lost, confused, and extremely hurt... and really confused about whether I really am here for the right reasons/if I should really be here, putting myself through this and into so much more debt. So it's just been a really difficult few weeks, and I am so extremely ready to just go home, spend so many wonderful weeks there, visiting Indiana, where my heart still remains, and hopefully finding the time I need to just relax and remember why it is I am here in the first place. I still believe that this is where the Lord has brought me, but it's just become a little harder for me to trust and rest in that with everything that's going on all around me. Though this is the perfect time for me to cling to Him even more. When we went to the Hillsong Church, the man who gave the message said this at one point:<br />
<br />
<i>"The Lord is with you in the highs and in the lows! Always He's with you! He wants to see you through! Oh the places you'll go and the things you'll do! If you don't appreciate the lows, you'll never appreciate the highs! He is God when things are going wrong, too! No man is strong enough to push back what God is pushing forward. No matter how big the task is, He is bigger to keep you in it!</i>"<br />
<br />
I find that so comforting. Especially right now, in the middle of this mess I've found myself in! So for right now, all I know to do, all I need to do, is cling to my Jesus - knowing that it doesn't matter what it looks like I'm going through right now, it doesn't matter how it appears that it will turn out, none of it matters because all that matters is as long as I seek Him, and keep my heart in His, I can rest knowing that He has greater plans for me than I could ever imagine, plans for good not for bad, and that it will all be okay. It has to be, because He promises that it will be! He loves me. He hears me. And He comforts me and meets my every need. How blessed am I?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"This poor man cried, and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles." </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Psalm 34:6 </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>"Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Lamentations 3:22-23</i></div>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwRysQz-HogMV-W0x1H2sbdFC9P7oWSqr19Z8EuRS-vwtpvg8ZDF0lUPpIo23bEUfgrbj1RAi0g-ubgGssiX05PhNf1yZibbYvvXxkmFKIFFuqEp2rTD6F0z1Ny0f9N4Q3BdvL2jwJwA_c/s1600/388282_902865109152_23114612_39890122_503973110_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwRysQz-HogMV-W0x1H2sbdFC9P7oWSqr19Z8EuRS-vwtpvg8ZDF0lUPpIo23bEUfgrbj1RAi0g-ubgGssiX05PhNf1yZibbYvvXxkmFKIFFuqEp2rTD6F0z1Ny0f9N4Q3BdvL2jwJwA_c/s400/388282_902865109152_23114612_39890122_503973110_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">The Maestro himself signing my score after our rehearsal! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQWbI52H3NtAIWhsSeBtem03P6niY9wISJKjoLO7nWKFeTwC2Kni4lJA-UJL0pHozHMRYRqtKVdBWa7SyTWQlUb5-5qvEvSA341o2sZyRuW6GVtO31F1GWnUDG28pMLlfgt4qsqD83w9v/s1600/307220_603282809428_17703657_32817847_1302831146_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="297" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEivQWbI52H3NtAIWhsSeBtem03P6niY9wISJKjoLO7nWKFeTwC2Kni4lJA-UJL0pHozHMRYRqtKVdBWa7SyTWQlUb5-5qvEvSA341o2sZyRuW6GVtO31F1GWnUDG28pMLlfgt4qsqD83w9v/s400/307220_603282809428_17703657_32817847_1302831146_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">With Soprano Soloist Dorothea Röschmann after the Brahms!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqeu3XcKeQzjDOn8Su4vUjliF22ZLBZUKTk9WPEC7x5vTYSi7FWs9oz7A7sWiGrA5RN8Gq42UESGPF4sS9IqsmXtB5X1ydNx-yh9uSeTuqHXJ0qjF-pe6g99S3Ey6K4eUZTiUutyRSsltI/s1600/386634_265062666873121_115140218532034_798248_1989260366_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqeu3XcKeQzjDOn8Su4vUjliF22ZLBZUKTk9WPEC7x5vTYSi7FWs9oz7A7sWiGrA5RN8Gq42UESGPF4sS9IqsmXtB5X1ydNx-yh9uSeTuqHXJ0qjF-pe6g99S3Ey6K4eUZTiUutyRSsltI/s400/386634_265062666873121_115140218532034_798248_1989260366_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Absolutely breathtaking!!!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwvS2Z1-u67AbVmTCot0qN59S-0S8LZ4LGXzGEUgcmHFhgtNhEHFwXMK-b7XDGvAHYagTZRqNZX1sDajdWwGEOB5wj3SxwGoFFxVN3deImJ-5w_laus-ews-dJnpcfimuoaWReV7UTi9u/s1600/115_4798.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgiwvS2Z1-u67AbVmTCot0qN59S-0S8LZ4LGXzGEUgcmHFhgtNhEHFwXMK-b7XDGvAHYagTZRqNZX1sDajdWwGEOB5wj3SxwGoFFxVN3deImJ-5w_laus-ews-dJnpcfimuoaWReV7UTi9u/s400/115_4798.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">Scott came to NJ and saved the day! :) :) :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvHgaFXAiKxuHpTnVa9BUf04xq_DvDQdoXfKu-8AwDnjpwPUM9-6YvrSBDEmWxKA_Bh5TSesScE_B-F8lZo5tNrHuiSBa37ZugCl23Jzp6T2S_5jajbSQchW1XrUQONCSWCGYusyJ3t6-q/s1600/115_5249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvHgaFXAiKxuHpTnVa9BUf04xq_DvDQdoXfKu-8AwDnjpwPUM9-6YvrSBDEmWxKA_Bh5TSesScE_B-F8lZo5tNrHuiSBa37ZugCl23Jzp6T2S_5jajbSQchW1XrUQONCSWCGYusyJ3t6-q/s400/115_5249.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My absolute best friends in New Jersey <3<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn4yV_wRDoZsaLr0x3fvhkKHSvKFivwRDfPUFixzDWLv4BuGBy8PL7pcqAUXL5ux1A12knS9JUbJA4lcSSsRvxB4ltqOjC-dJpnuKcvFv-SqnsPkNXED_BwzCREateAl0PsSXRmLU3rubv/s1600/115_5247.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjn4yV_wRDoZsaLr0x3fvhkKHSvKFivwRDfPUFixzDWLv4BuGBy8PL7pcqAUXL5ux1A12knS9JUbJA4lcSSsRvxB4ltqOjC-dJpnuKcvFv-SqnsPkNXED_BwzCREateAl0PsSXRmLU3rubv/s400/115_5247.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">Anna!!!! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZncefivW14wPINnZ4Imc4y5flE1HDLj_FTHSNrVB_7BAu4k2rKKYjF4DNmQeUDf6GivV7oXp2iikhKuB_Z6mHh7tL7pPp9cEG9yIGADibfmVpaPaFFato5TK6z4_sOpEtIEiz2eJ50XR-/s1600/115_5355.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZncefivW14wPINnZ4Imc4y5flE1HDLj_FTHSNrVB_7BAu4k2rKKYjF4DNmQeUDf6GivV7oXp2iikhKuB_Z6mHh7tL7pPp9cEG9yIGADibfmVpaPaFFato5TK6z4_sOpEtIEiz2eJ50XR-/s400/115_5355.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet Carola and I in Central Park!!! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWrjtpYzr75_yvw53p_wFpxbdLWczsatlDTBHNo56toq8Z4-QFkspRl9-kOhkQYAvqoheKG6MYQtqwQ_9jnFZUXmy-tl0wiVWysHeqUeOk_4IgWW7qPdOxcHV4eFr-70VB4wdQaCg-i69/s1600/115_5369.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnWrjtpYzr75_yvw53p_wFpxbdLWczsatlDTBHNo56toq8Z4-QFkspRl9-kOhkQYAvqoheKG6MYQtqwQ_9jnFZUXmy-tl0wiVWysHeqUeOk_4IgWW7qPdOxcHV4eFr-70VB4wdQaCg-i69/s400/115_5369.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Outside of the MET!!! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxjFYTOZirqTaDmu5G7dBf0JPHk5Q_6WRpG3JT-wJzW4TWRxqf64B7oDwNHMCZLyD7JIQ-oVTbIaxFfPakPwT_bMKBEf0Wnm8QGF2Oo-TWQv_Po1PAgPJ6dqEYPM6F_0nk7VWCF4577Ve/s1600/115_5432.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhtxjFYTOZirqTaDmu5G7dBf0JPHk5Q_6WRpG3JT-wJzW4TWRxqf64B7oDwNHMCZLyD7JIQ-oVTbIaxFfPakPwT_bMKBEf0Wnm8QGF2Oo-TWQv_Po1PAgPJ6dqEYPM6F_0nk7VWCF4577Ve/s400/115_5432.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Love them! Outside of the awesome Christmas Tree at the Port! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislpLJxUuKPmUY46_gK7xcVJ59s6jAIqHzEUo8KrONz8TGd8qCp4UTwWaWWsKkAY_z3tc2Tka-0Xa8uuvbMbcduieitaJ12bZt4KF1oVo6jW5NUp-NdKUlODRJBPzjrss5BOB0PdG0QIKx/s1600/115_5474.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEislpLJxUuKPmUY46_gK7xcVJ59s6jAIqHzEUo8KrONz8TGd8qCp4UTwWaWWsKkAY_z3tc2Tka-0Xa8uuvbMbcduieitaJ12bZt4KF1oVo6jW5NUp-NdKUlODRJBPzjrss5BOB0PdG0QIKx/s400/115_5474.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Before seeing Rodelinda!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DL9xM1ThsHnpjdxp6N0xOB3N2AZyndQZ5deHVmqCoPgSQ7yX2APvYnL4SrfmzmLHx-lORL5qznrNGxdXCShAMP6j4zdfLNr3cXZAAmiAAgEdmo4HJMfnTmI3l7nZuk39sNDHdg7n_e4y/s1600/115_5506.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4DL9xM1ThsHnpjdxp6N0xOB3N2AZyndQZ5deHVmqCoPgSQ7yX2APvYnL4SrfmzmLHx-lORL5qznrNGxdXCShAMP6j4zdfLNr3cXZAAmiAAgEdmo4HJMfnTmI3l7nZuk39sNDHdg7n_e4y/s400/115_5506.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RENEE FLEMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizIMD0IqECN0aHOWi9AMvlhpjXSCtLQKuW6nvq5KlbZpgPfjw7_v86vuQPGkEawVE9NDIP7akJCjE9MzoxDz8GAzetwF49Or6YFKJOlRovgh9jWHRRCU_u3sgGnAqo4k9DlTeqgG-Rk7nZ/s1600/115_5544.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizIMD0IqECN0aHOWi9AMvlhpjXSCtLQKuW6nvq5KlbZpgPfjw7_v86vuQPGkEawVE9NDIP7akJCjE9MzoxDz8GAzetwF49Or6YFKJOlRovgh9jWHRRCU_u3sgGnAqo4k9DlTeqgG-Rk7nZ/s400/115_5544.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">MY FAVORITE BUILDING! THE FLATIRON BUILDING!!! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9o-An5_wvs2HgtGbbGUzs7_5S95SqJRV9gq2qHytqHBEdI7iRZ_hC1QH9N0DJQBSqA8249OH4hEzlfsC8TW5OQTLEGT6ZDYFcNA0H9eWT1fNUC8-TZI6OyldbF6fpF0g29v3C23y-kHem/s1600/115_5548.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9o-An5_wvs2HgtGbbGUzs7_5S95SqJRV9gq2qHytqHBEdI7iRZ_hC1QH9N0DJQBSqA8249OH4hEzlfsC8TW5OQTLEGT6ZDYFcNA0H9eWT1fNUC8-TZI6OyldbF6fpF0g29v3C23y-kHem/s400/115_5548.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">... I was super excited. :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxyQuEBV_3imhmClNOkX9PDergApCITya1zdgfdO18ySluAWnhM6LMjAFzWOi5xm3yWtagRgaKYdGUg9Uc4pZ2lgS_TbDafbRHEZPeVR6if2kjDc-Z8cKMa9OPESP6JmbC-zqKTXQ0LEdq/s1600/115_5524.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxyQuEBV_3imhmClNOkX9PDergApCITya1zdgfdO18ySluAWnhM6LMjAFzWOi5xm3yWtagRgaKYdGUg9Uc4pZ2lgS_TbDafbRHEZPeVR6if2kjDc-Z8cKMa9OPESP6JmbC-zqKTXQ0LEdq/s400/115_5524.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">On our way to the Hillsong Church!<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br /></span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh5leStXmS_59UcbBxDedubtXrOm5Y2lmrfJ3Tz5NrEQVjhj40_NSY0JJSlgobZpskOCZ_Fmd9EZKSlMpdQK6yk-VX5KkhEVZasRVtqqJop9Fp-vohNIg4RBSeR8bqCzs8rYxYUWVHoP1h/s1600/115_5567.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgh5leStXmS_59UcbBxDedubtXrOm5Y2lmrfJ3Tz5NrEQVjhj40_NSY0JJSlgobZpskOCZ_Fmd9EZKSlMpdQK6yk-VX5KkhEVZasRVtqqJop9Fp-vohNIg4RBSeR8bqCzs8rYxYUWVHoP1h/s400/115_5567.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">Grammy!!!!!!! Lub lub lub <3 So happy to be home!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm2DIugg8rtO9j75Tg6b_0Doj17Q4kQkI7Vzf8RTAOeiEsWdeQ-f2j_4cHA30lLMRammpsqN_1DanTT3w7FXAK0niVOxlEkIWJ5Ia2yUxM7_hmGD8ux97CxWL4n0WO0AtOss1ZZRFgKBgg/s1600/115_5573.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhm2DIugg8rtO9j75Tg6b_0Doj17Q4kQkI7Vzf8RTAOeiEsWdeQ-f2j_4cHA30lLMRammpsqN_1DanTT3w7FXAK0niVOxlEkIWJ5Ia2yUxM7_hmGD8ux97CxWL4n0WO0AtOss1ZZRFgKBgg/s400/115_5573.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">JENNER! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjxVrOtdARbAZlgx1mdT5zA3NV2mRe_fbIFxUBFWx9WiWvHMrW0iwx5_Y2BN0FSamebw0O2vGMiLq9QdTqLESP3ZPQjtwkZNygOckKRYWt_919JdcFrvJCJkvBbX_f0fdX4ihbjJy6ZNXE/s1600/115_5598.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjjxVrOtdARbAZlgx1mdT5zA3NV2mRe_fbIFxUBFWx9WiWvHMrW0iwx5_Y2BN0FSamebw0O2vGMiLq9QdTqLESP3ZPQjtwkZNygOckKRYWt_919JdcFrvJCJkvBbX_f0fdX4ihbjJy6ZNXE/s400/115_5598.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Karisa and I outside for our 1st annual Thanksgiving Day walk! LOL!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhUK9ioDgNXm5ChZ4kUZXqyA_lX2ougCTg0cXeFEv1sBBOjBIq7nBvNZbInAKZpAABXear5Yl16lUHe34HqGRoMCrRzIJUEioNGjs8i6D2fHNMINVBSzUsOSEoMpm0JxUL2h9lRTh2bG0Z/s1600/115_5603.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjhUK9ioDgNXm5ChZ4kUZXqyA_lX2ougCTg0cXeFEv1sBBOjBIq7nBvNZbInAKZpAABXear5Yl16lUHe34HqGRoMCrRzIJUEioNGjs8i6D2fHNMINVBSzUsOSEoMpm0JxUL2h9lRTh2bG0Z/s400/115_5603.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The best family and best friends a girl could ever ask for <3 </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOc_xmLyObMs5hLf_mx1P2X14-YQWNwXQtt1UyfxpvmOb9crXckk-Kq_aDBSaDgneAK27Ey26baX20OwasE5sCaj_75ug_UqNkXMyuG9J9bZY4-ScNv2MZl1lzktIAQbYCo7lNmp4DJuWd/s1600/115_5611.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOc_xmLyObMs5hLf_mx1P2X14-YQWNwXQtt1UyfxpvmOb9crXckk-Kq_aDBSaDgneAK27Ey26baX20OwasE5sCaj_75ug_UqNkXMyuG9J9bZY4-ScNv2MZl1lzktIAQbYCo7lNmp4DJuWd/s400/115_5611.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Zaybert and Aunt Jessa! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDB9e4bfGRjYWPS8beefpHEeuthGgMTE2e_-AggDpHNtuKZY28ANmwTKS6A7SlHR8Allf4d2Z2IFzxmt94p5fLgxYrPlygQNcxstwWbjwmHupOsf0OkFUCaFg6Q6EvTJRkjFkNLunKSgfc/s1600/115_5637.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDB9e4bfGRjYWPS8beefpHEeuthGgMTE2e_-AggDpHNtuKZY28ANmwTKS6A7SlHR8Allf4d2Z2IFzxmt94p5fLgxYrPlygQNcxstwWbjwmHupOsf0OkFUCaFg6Q6EvTJRkjFkNLunKSgfc/s400/115_5637.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Goofball and Aunt Katie!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmb-NbWTvNopMF4HD0Wne7FgPw0Tv8TjnkN1HHHwfV95wwOz-aCkoOV7lKf4hj07PLa7UuhBPedJ70UhRMtNzi9RMRwOA49CfXISscCsa0zIBPACwOhFPcdjMDQ4YBEmcoZjG6p_GsGcyW/s1600/Photo1413.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmb-NbWTvNopMF4HD0Wne7FgPw0Tv8TjnkN1HHHwfV95wwOz-aCkoOV7lKf4hj07PLa7UuhBPedJ70UhRMtNzi9RMRwOA49CfXISscCsa0zIBPACwOhFPcdjMDQ4YBEmcoZjG6p_GsGcyW/s400/Photo1413.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">Black Friday shopping!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-size: medium; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; padding-bottom: 6px; padding-left: 6px; padding-right: 6px; padding-top: 6px; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_WFgalCjkZiJPAMv23usTSHBiaL2Lwyx9Dk1KqfeNPPc1hAnSM6K3z-5YN5d9dU87Xc8R1G-WVTFjFCGYKlXNYuf5IObOYfYVV28N0PM2W0FQfDBnaRvPPNbfDC5OB-XyREigooKLGnIf/s1600/Photo1418.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_WFgalCjkZiJPAMv23usTSHBiaL2Lwyx9Dk1KqfeNPPc1hAnSM6K3z-5YN5d9dU87Xc8R1G-WVTFjFCGYKlXNYuf5IObOYfYVV28N0PM2W0FQfDBnaRvPPNbfDC5OB-XyREigooKLGnIf/s400/Photo1418.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;">Not only did I find the best Black Friday deals, but I found my best friend! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"></span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-87n_MHSjdh8TYjBzkG8pcoKw5S-SeqqJC7HlDLA2K1_ByPSnIx4JWzfBpT1HBTJ-EV2e1C4IwGvIFJgAYRMKc06dOs_TkaqYpbQ0eM20UPOwpZUACpme_J0fgjNq_frd4qzjTJh_tUvm/s1600/115_5673.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-87n_MHSjdh8TYjBzkG8pcoKw5S-SeqqJC7HlDLA2K1_ByPSnIx4JWzfBpT1HBTJ-EV2e1C4IwGvIFJgAYRMKc06dOs_TkaqYpbQ0eM20UPOwpZUACpme_J0fgjNq_frd4qzjTJh_tUvm/s400/115_5673.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Best friends in the whole wide world! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjERihLxthUUTSGpxq6OdnG3fsxShh37BpukhBiiEWNfDwiCNTgBj9MrtDNHrW6sKnVdysd0exoPBuz48Q8r-ikB7LNWSzh05QfVsiVlUA1uiAtIP9V1GrALJMJf-QhCiXfONtj79mUzvu8/s1600/115_5692.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjERihLxthUUTSGpxq6OdnG3fsxShh37BpukhBiiEWNfDwiCNTgBj9MrtDNHrW6sKnVdysd0exoPBuz48Q8r-ikB7LNWSzh05QfVsiVlUA1uiAtIP9V1GrALJMJf-QhCiXfONtj79mUzvu8/s400/115_5692.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Christmas Day parade smiles! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVqHuD0d8Ja10vCvmBmO5SSJOtEZKog2PBq3hSuYEIV9iPT11ugla5Vm68TI3_cMdxB5Y6XWrB3YOAdxjmiO4o-a5SvyovTkRG3oq9-pcOCyYtPirdG_vJAx60C7FznqSyT51Ti453Kijn/s1600/115_5716.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhVqHuD0d8Ja10vCvmBmO5SSJOtEZKog2PBq3hSuYEIV9iPT11ugla5Vm68TI3_cMdxB5Y6XWrB3YOAdxjmiO4o-a5SvyovTkRG3oq9-pcOCyYtPirdG_vJAx60C7FznqSyT51Ti453Kijn/s400/115_5716.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sissy Lub <3 <3 </td></tr>
</tbody></table>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-34787879261613854732011-10-31T00:19:00.000-04:002012-01-31T21:24:08.671-05:00The light in the darkness...Hello, wonderful friends and family! :D<br />
<br />
Just a quick hello to you, for it is wayyyyy past my bedtime! But if I don't take a moment to update you on my life this past week, I will not have time at all to do so until next Sunday! This week I have run-outs with Symphonic Choir Wednesday through Saturday! I'm SO excited! We're singing the Brahms Requiem with the Philadelphia Orchestra at the Kimmel Center! I think I'm a little more excited than the normal person because a) It's in the Kimmel Center! I saw Josh and Karen sing there for State Chorus when I was in 8th grade! And now I get to be the one onstage! How COOL! and b) The Brahms always makes me cherish the sweet and short time we had with Mr. Dearing. Especially the 4th movement, where the text is based off Psalm 84, "how lovely is Thy dwelling place" ... That hits closer to home for me than anyone else because my last semester in choir with him, we did the Raminsch "How Lovely is Thy Dwelling Place," with that awesome organist he was so giddy about and I was the soprano soloist. Not gonna lie - it chokes me up every time. I can't wait to sing this Requiem for him this weekend... with one of the most amazing orchestras among 160 other amazing vocalists who have been rehearsing this with me day in and day out for the past month and a half... it will be such a bittersweet moment. <3<br />
<br />
Not too much else is going on around here! Just TONS of homework and practicing and not enough time to get it all done! LOL! HOWEVER! One of the most exciting things EVER! ... I ordered my very first tickets to go see a show at the Metropolitan Opera for this month with my friends Carola and Rebekah! I'm SO excited! :D :D :D Plus, we're staying with one of my friends from undergrad who lives in the city - hello, that adds even more to my excitement! :)<br />
<br />
I had no power for a time this weekend thanks to the snowstorm yesterday... New Jersey and I really aren't getting off on the right foot here. I've been here 2 months and have been without power twice already. YUCK!<br />
<br />
When I came home from church this evening, I was so happy to see this:<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjolBspjYEieKoQIIiFbZyKrWDeJ4cNzaPbpo4A_V_5X_G8eCiMzdBf8-obBkB9fiRQf399a1zmMS18Z23tVECcDaBUaACj9d1I_Ntz19Uls7KM9vfo7MNduQRhOAeGeFJKzB83EoJ20STm/s1600/Photo1265.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjolBspjYEieKoQIIiFbZyKrWDeJ4cNzaPbpo4A_V_5X_G8eCiMzdBf8-obBkB9fiRQf399a1zmMS18Z23tVECcDaBUaACj9d1I_Ntz19Uls7KM9vfo7MNduQRhOAeGeFJKzB83EoJ20STm/s400/Photo1265.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
A single solitary light on in my room - what an image!! Especially since I was dreading having to spend another night without electricity... It was also such a reminder of how it doesn't matter how dark it may seem in my life, that darkness means not a thing to the Lord, for He is the light in the darkness that will see me through! Whatever you're going through, He is able to bring good from evil. I so needed that this evening, and was filled with such an amazing message along those lines at worship tonight. Last night was the topper on the cake, so to say, as I had a not so pretty verbal encounter with one of the sisters I'm renting from. And of course, I called my mother sobbing, because I've just absolutely reached my limit here with the way that they treat me and the like. Praise the Lord, He has provided me with another place to move to, just a short few weeks away, but I was certain last night that I was not going to make it even one more day in this horrid home. Then I went to church tonight, and was completely amazed at how it felt like Nate was speaking directly to me. I love those sermons! Simply put, it was the reminder that God is <b>with us</b>. He <b>will not</b> abandon us. He is <b>faithful</b> and we are <b>not</b> alone. Nate said something to this effect in his message tonight, "When I'm not sure, God is sure. When I'm in darkness, it's not dark for God! You are going to slip up, you're going to struggle, but God is BIGGER! Throw yourself on the Cross and Resurrection, on His grace and mercy, and let Him save you and work in you!" Wow. What a crazy awesome reminder. I'm not sure really of anything right now. But what I am sure of is that God is bigger than everything that I'm going through, and that He will <i>never</i> abandon me - after all, He sent His Son to die for me so that I may live in and with Him. How could I ever think for a second that He would not be with me? I may be stumbling in the darkness right now, but if I cling to Christ, He will be the light that will shine brighter than it all, seeing me through as He walks with me. I won't cling to any other, but I will cling to You, Jesus. <3<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had said through the prophet: "The virgin will conceive and give birth to a son, and they will call him <b>Immanuel</b>" (which means <b>"God with us"</b>).</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Matthew 1:22-23</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
This has been my song of the week: Hillsong - Take Heart</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/8MfBQ30Ta9w?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>All our troubles and all our tears, God our Hope - He has overcome. All our failures and all our fear, God our Love - He has overcome. All our heartache and all our pain, God our Healer - He has overcome. All our burdens and all our shame, God our Freedom - He has overcome. ♥</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4u_RDXE1FNPhkC569TQpvtXQUNP5AsXdzgn5fk3lcJl9_16a0UlsAxcRPzr92b94KhoRCZSK5Z4di_Ba1OfM2ZcBEug8cw5EKB2_braHB-3m2yF8aqMKcpB5EV0Thq70fsPhyphenhyphenL8KPCN0/s1600/115_4321.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgr4u_RDXE1FNPhkC569TQpvtXQUNP5AsXdzgn5fk3lcJl9_16a0UlsAxcRPzr92b94KhoRCZSK5Z4di_Ba1OfM2ZcBEug8cw5EKB2_braHB-3m2yF8aqMKcpB5EV0Thq70fsPhyphenhyphenL8KPCN0/s400/115_4321.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">A group of us at dinner after Sunday night worship! From the left: Pastor Tim (who coincidentally is a trained opera singer!), Rebekah, Nicholas, JP, and me. :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAG3U8UWlY21fnyVZpLfzIPFfA95cZ9UQqtYfufizGcRf6MGUK618v50hSZyLpOMjeRq5c3IlI9PSSWcLItHjBF6gnBhIe4B6KlNQ_VlVnGbvkE72x3Qjom59DnbuCijzG3zsQr_JYWUoW/s1600/115_4330.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAG3U8UWlY21fnyVZpLfzIPFfA95cZ9UQqtYfufizGcRf6MGUK618v50hSZyLpOMjeRq5c3IlI9PSSWcLItHjBF6gnBhIe4B6KlNQ_VlVnGbvkE72x3Qjom59DnbuCijzG3zsQr_JYWUoW/s400/115_4330.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yummm.... enjoying my Fudge Truffle Cupcake from House of Cupcakes after an amazing voice lesson!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf0NZ8t6XV7z-LYShEeB66bcu-x_SkOHsx551dv7s1wlJhATjECFvEkOHYLfdErvR82lklUc00ANrfnDxAdXlSfWsTs2BWSHYBIIPjOmn_uyaU3DkUfPEhIdi8J6160GYoWyyMsKzfyg0k/s1600/Photo1257.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjf0NZ8t6XV7z-LYShEeB66bcu-x_SkOHsx551dv7s1wlJhATjECFvEkOHYLfdErvR82lklUc00ANrfnDxAdXlSfWsTs2BWSHYBIIPjOmn_uyaU3DkUfPEhIdi8J6160GYoWyyMsKzfyg0k/s400/Photo1257.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Had to find a new home for Snaggle Tooth, so my friends Karisa and Sara adopted him!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkXMh3z0YD5dqZ3eVMCJGPWnHiBRQ1cdzx-q4f8t9i3Y5SZmece84CbkQ_GAPgbkx68_wKpW3jM9jfuw7xLKgL8peK0sqEYohWqI8f305sStnGe7pM7KhavV1Mg73tbtitseRfz1qkbWId/s1600/Photo1261.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkXMh3z0YD5dqZ3eVMCJGPWnHiBRQ1cdzx-q4f8t9i3Y5SZmece84CbkQ_GAPgbkx68_wKpW3jM9jfuw7xLKgL8peK0sqEYohWqI8f305sStnGe7pM7KhavV1Mg73tbtitseRfz1qkbWId/s400/Photo1261.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I was having fun in the snow. :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-6714004310617830232011-10-23T16:05:00.000-04:002012-01-31T21:25:37.844-05:00I love the fall!A fine hello to you, my marvelous friends and family, from Princeton this beautiful fall day! :)<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
This week has absolutely flown by! I can't believe the weekend is almost over already, and I've barely put a dent in my homework! Oh, boy! I thought I would take a quick minute to catch you up on life here in New Jersey! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm finally starting to feel like myself here - which really means that I've relaxed and de-stressed enough to enjoy myself here among the outside world! lol. I know, for those of you that know me, that seems like an odd thing, that I didn't just jump right in from the beginning as only I can! But it's been so hard adjusting here! So I'm thankful that I finally feel like I'm settling into a routine, and am making friendships with some amazing people! It's a bit of a relief. :)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Last week a few of us first-year grads drove into NYC to to go the Bodies exhibit, since it's required for our Voice Ped 1 class. Talk about an unnerving and cool experience all in one! It was absolutely like nothing I could ever describe. They were real - REAL - human bodies, that they had set up in many different displays so you can literally learn about the human body through visual displays. I still don't know quite how I feel about the whole thing! lol. My favorite part was the display that they had on the lungs - they showed healthy lungs and then smoker lungs. And in front of the display case they had this clear drop box, where you were felt convicted to, if you were a smoker, drop your pack of cigarettes into the case right there and make that commitment to quit smoking! I thought that was just the coolest thing. :)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Nothing really big going on as far as schoolwork, just a ton of homework and practicing to be done! I should get my big voice ped test back and graded tomorrow evening in class, so I'm kind of nervous about that. I've been trying to be very diligent in my practicing, especially since I'm only studying at one of the world's leading music schools. You know, no pressure or anything! haha! But today I am needing to take a break, my voice is getting fatigued from all the practicing I've done this week! Can you imagine? HAHAHA! Hmm... nothing else really exciting is going on that I can think of. We're practicing a lot and really digging into rehearsals for our Brahms performance coming up the first weekend of November with the Philadelphia Orchestra in the Kimmel Center! I can't wait! It's going to be an unforgettable experience! Also, before Brahms, this coming Saturday I'm really excited because I'm going to participate in an all day Seminar, "Music in the Modern Church," with composer Sven-David Sandstöm! I'm beside myself with excitement at all of the opportunities I'll have that day in workshops with him! Here's the link to see more about it if you wish - http://www.rider.edu/academics/colleges-schools/wca/woce/seminars/saturday-seminars/symposium-on-music</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I've got a ton of homework to finish today, so as I said this will be a very brief post! But I've met an undergrad who's in my voice studio that I've been hanging out with who ... get ready for it ... is from MONROEVILLE! What a coincidence! I'm so ecstatic! I love this girl, she's such a sweetheart and LOVES THE STEELERS. What could be better?!!!!! hehehe! In fact, I went with her last night to a get together with some people from her church to hang out, play games, eat taco soup, and carve pumpkins!!! hehehe! I'll include some pictures of Snaggle Tooth, my awesome pumpkin! :D Last night after we carved pumpkins, Rebekah and I joined my sweet friend Carola, who I met at Nassau Christian Center, at the Halo Pub for round two of the "Jess Hann tries every ice cream shop in Princeton" extravaganza! It was amazing!!!! I got 2 scoops - coffee and strawberry chocolate chip. YUMM-O! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
For the past week I've been in the mood to watch Sleepy Hollow AND Hocus Pocus! I love October! I went to a Halloween party at the Seminary Friday night with Ryan, and that was fun! I got to meet his friends here in Princeton! There was one guy who was absolutely amazed at the thought that Ryan and I basically have known each other forever, lol. What was even better was the moment he realized it in our conversation, because somehow he missed it when we were introduced! It was hilarious. That was a blast, hanging out with Ryan and his friends! I'm absolutely beyond thankful that he's here in Princeton. Talk about a relief! Someone from home, who's rather fabulous ;), and who calls me JessHann - all one word. Hello, blast from the past! I love it! :)</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Goodness, I love the fall. It's my favorite season of the year! Though Ryan and I decided that we miss fall at home. Nothing can surpass, well at least not Princeton, the Pennsylvania fall scenery... the thought makes me extremely homesick! Especially since NOW the trees are barely turning here. If I look out my window right now I'm still staring at an array of green... sigh! But I digress! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
The fall is just breathtaking to me for more than just the scenery! I am constantly amazed at how, when we fill ourselves with the Word and let the Holy Spirit live in us, we're constantly changing because we're allowing the Lord to work in us and reshape us to be in tune with Him and what His plans for us are! I follow this page on facebook called "I am a Woman of God" and they posted this earlier today, "Biblically, waiting is not just something we have to do until we get what we want. Waiting is part of the process of becoming what God wants us to be." And though we may recognize we're waiting, do we truly see how He is changing us and working in us? That's one of the reasons I love the fall so much. We can physically see with our own eyes the changes that are happening all around us. It's a picture of what the Lord wants to do with us, if we'll just let go of ourselves and our selfish controlling manner and let Him! I love that the fall, and the changes that are all around us, allow us to recognize what change looks like in a sense. And I feel like that's so important - the ability to recognize change. Though it's hard when we're looking at ourselves, isn't it? At least for me it is! But when we have that aha! moment and can see just what we've come through, how we've grown, and essentially how we've changed, it's so incredible! Again, at least I think it is. :) And though I may have only been here just shy of two months, I can already see the ways the Lord is changing me to bring me closer to Him. The biggest of them merely just to teach me and to show me to completely rely on Him in every situation, to trust who He says He is and His promises for my success. And I tried so hard to control that in a sense, to say "Okay! Here we go! I trust that God is good and that He will bring me through it all providing for me every step of the way!" ... But when it's just something we're saying and not really believing, well then that defeats the purpose doesn't it? And then stuff happens and we say we're believing Him, and living and standing in His Word.. but are we really? God's work starts on the inside, and then happens on the outside. We can't try to change ourselves - we have to go to the Lord, and allow Him to do the work! </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I love those aha! moments... where we truly become even more dependent on the Lord, allowing Him to consume us - absolutely all of us - from the inside out.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Trust in the LORD with all your heart </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and lean not on your own understanding; </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>in all your ways submit to him, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> and he will make your paths straight.</i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>- Proverbs 3:5-6</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiub9JddrvwVzTWNCX6lMZfmBnPg3swve24778sOkJ56VXx4tYVMK49iFluHvJTzmw_AnHyW3PeKwkjDHdXKkeb_PwwaTx_EThgaKMy-V_tgOW-5OumONTKuCiuYrUwr93nwVj4vReXKVel/s1600/115_4289.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiub9JddrvwVzTWNCX6lMZfmBnPg3swve24778sOkJ56VXx4tYVMK49iFluHvJTzmw_AnHyW3PeKwkjDHdXKkeb_PwwaTx_EThgaKMy-V_tgOW-5OumONTKuCiuYrUwr93nwVj4vReXKVel/s400/115_4289.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">One of my best friends here at WCC, Dillon, and I on the way to NYC to see Bodies!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQRW6OiGYTlAIANdCPZ3rqiwrqpM4VZVQx7OCvJVBU4N6NaGoLH7nIrSYFEjq1ulwJwOlENDBOGd9kGY6dWSMFCApXGpzbzVbwluHOF3ZisYYDr8UTp0GqBy2OeLqvu3_oZqsIlO8NpXo/s1600/115_4293.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiQRW6OiGYTlAIANdCPZ3rqiwrqpM4VZVQx7OCvJVBU4N6NaGoLH7nIrSYFEjq1ulwJwOlENDBOGd9kGY6dWSMFCApXGpzbzVbwluHOF3ZisYYDr8UTp0GqBy2OeLqvu3_oZqsIlO8NpXo/s400/115_4293.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">BODIES! The sign outside!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div>
<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb2eJ_Gq_3LNBiPzYkgBJ6-vemerFViIuE2YtmVTkVdNUheNKk9uX0-K6_2xQ7tyCn2jpnqFftuYOShSvNmVaMjnpAbh2l0-zHOvAPgWfZM-IODNjoUNmcVcejQEscIvGHPx4rU9FtAisc/s1600/115_4305.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjb2eJ_Gq_3LNBiPzYkgBJ6-vemerFViIuE2YtmVTkVdNUheNKk9uX0-K6_2xQ7tyCn2jpnqFftuYOShSvNmVaMjnpAbh2l0-zHOvAPgWfZM-IODNjoUNmcVcejQEscIvGHPx4rU9FtAisc/s400/115_4305.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My sweet friend Rebekah and I! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy-qO8sWsYclCix1WmPPyUnwH1Sgq0uSNOhpLBwfgb7MDhx8uxEmKmZXjFRhrcpB3dtKHQj-79vE7lV_GjmVbuONQ5yOHz2oEWPgJrHNwKNJMGD231z6oJDcv0QvCCqudayXhSOwD2QE1a/s1600/115_4310.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhy-qO8sWsYclCix1WmPPyUnwH1Sgq0uSNOhpLBwfgb7MDhx8uxEmKmZXjFRhrcpB3dtKHQj-79vE7lV_GjmVbuONQ5yOHz2oEWPgJrHNwKNJMGD231z6oJDcv0QvCCqudayXhSOwD2QE1a/s400/115_4310.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">We had Chocolate Chip Pecan Caramel Apples! HELLO, FALL! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHLa-1BSV_MikuKT96_Al4Xq550t4N8O-nlzuqWhtTqXRKkBfW-8vVFSBsenTMxQ9H9StcPxEaMvyZDzyIAlJ0xNj3s1nqgA5f_4CVmzaCLRuAkvxGQNFw67_B03hDUQ6T1DgkN2kZfwz6/s1600/115_4315.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHLa-1BSV_MikuKT96_Al4Xq550t4N8O-nlzuqWhtTqXRKkBfW-8vVFSBsenTMxQ9H9StcPxEaMvyZDzyIAlJ0xNj3s1nqgA5f_4CVmzaCLRuAkvxGQNFw67_B03hDUQ6T1DgkN2kZfwz6/s400/115_4315.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rebekah and I's pumpkins! Mine's on the left and hers is on the right! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWkI0lVEpMRR_mEShbAzJkQz8sTMvI8R6lnQPEEy8zVF1IqTHNxWvWsZ4b6ZWB-xMd6brine8lxvFWzKfYE3wk6TnkvXPoLOiPdx-0GhKbfPAzohlMuxmwPHlxttXQPr9DBjffseY-KUYH/s1600/115_4314.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjWkI0lVEpMRR_mEShbAzJkQz8sTMvI8R6lnQPEEy8zVF1IqTHNxWvWsZ4b6ZWB-xMd6brine8lxvFWzKfYE3wk6TnkvXPoLOiPdx-0GhKbfPAzohlMuxmwPHlxttXQPr9DBjffseY-KUYH/s400/115_4314.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Snaggle Tooth! My PUMPKIN!!!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3v299yOA3dMwdEPA9nTgVxQZF6EZk1XrOau4BBoe2ShZOCBfb-0GYjacbNp6CCzq6gxxHGmhgzbujjX1p6-8VAfWCxisr3k-4LLeSQEkQnLtPl3yE8b4xjhA3qBaV9oq3OZ7qJWX86D-Q/s1600/115_4317.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3v299yOA3dMwdEPA9nTgVxQZF6EZk1XrOau4BBoe2ShZOCBfb-0GYjacbNp6CCzq6gxxHGmhgzbujjX1p6-8VAfWCxisr3k-4LLeSQEkQnLtPl3yE8b4xjhA3qBaV9oq3OZ7qJWX86D-Q/s400/115_4317.JPG" width="300" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Yumm..... Halo Pub ice cream! Grammy, this picture is for you! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsO-v6GGsO9rTZdfZU6tX75rnIdx0R_lq-zaYBCpWDxHeRAHKD7K6gj6BwMVEA4fOrbvqH9RweCdE93mK5tMB1PKyqFuak55k-hhshyAxf7uKykBYJIsW0g4VVP_R6Uln8HbLS2619wGnY/s1600/115_4318.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhsO-v6GGsO9rTZdfZU6tX75rnIdx0R_lq-zaYBCpWDxHeRAHKD7K6gj6BwMVEA4fOrbvqH9RweCdE93mK5tMB1PKyqFuak55k-hhshyAxf7uKykBYJIsW0g4VVP_R6Uln8HbLS2619wGnY/s400/115_4318.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sweet Carola. I just love her so much! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
</div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-74890836021447179842011-10-15T23:36:00.001-04:002011-10-15T23:51:16.187-04:00Remind Me Who I Am...I love the fall! It's my favorite time of the year, and as far as I'm concerned the most beautiful! :) Though Princeton needs to catch up and the trees need to change! It makes me extremely miss those gorgeous Pennsylvania mountains... and especially Indiana in the fall. <3<br />
<br />
This week has been very exhausting, and now I'm thoroughly taking the time to enjoy fall break this weekend! Though I still have so much to do... lol. Such is the life of a grad student! I had my first big exam of the year Monday evening, in Voice Pedagogy 1. What a doozy that was! It took me 3.5 hours to take it and answer all the essay questions! My brain has pretty much been mush the rest of the week in the aftermath of that test. Other than that it was pretty low-key this week, just the normal practicing, lots of theory homework and lab practicing to do, and musicology research for my big paper! My bibliography for that paper was due yesterday. For you music folk reading this, I really wanted to do something that included looking at opera settings of biblical text. While I was googling operas with biblical texts, I found somewhere that Saint-Saëns was so intrigued and impressed by Händel's "Samson" that he wanted to create his own, or something to that effect. I'm not sure whether that was legitimately true or not, but it got me thinking that I would like to compare and contrast both of their settings of the text, and what the differences are other than that one is an opera and the other an oratorio, essentially one is staged and one isn't. "Samson et Dallila" by Saint-Saëns and "Samson" by Händel therefore are the focus of my working thesis, and I'm really excited to see where I can go and what I can find with this!<br />
<br />
Anyway! I've been really getting the chance to spend some time getting to know a few other grad students really well, and I'm so thankful that I'm finally starting to feel like I'm settling in with others around me and starting to forge friendships that have come from the Lord! I've been attending Sunday evening worship at the Nassau Christian Center, and have through that service created some friendships already that I know will be so important to me through my time here and beyond! Actually, I just spent a few hours tonight with my friend Carola at one of the many ice cream/frozen yogurt places here in Princeton. On a side note: as Betty Lee's granddaughter, it's about time I make my way to trying all these ice cream places! lol!!! (Did you like that, Grammy?!! hehehe!) Anyway, getting to spend time with her tonight was just exactly what I needed! With so much laughter, storytelling, and frozen yogurt, one can completely find a newfound hope for the week! :) And it was so wonderful to feel the Holy Spirit right there with us the entire evening as we shared our stories and how the Lord has moved in our lives! It's still new to me, openly and freely talking about the Lord with others, and every time it just blows me away at how amazing He is! I just love it! :)<br />
<br />
Let's see.. what else happened this week? Oh! I FINALLY got to see and spend some time with Ryan! (For those of you from home, that would be the one and only Sir Ryan Krauss! :D) It was such an amazing and much needed evening! I honestly don't think I've laughed as hard as that, as I did that night, since I've been here in New Jersey. Talk about a good night! And to be able to talk to someone who I don't have to explain who people in my family are if I'm trying to tell a story is AMAZING. haha! Though sorry for Ryan, I told him that he's stuck with me now... bwahaha! He moves 4 hours away from home, and I've followed him! :D<br />
<br />
Hmm... Oh! I scheduled for classes in the spring. What a crazy schedule that will be! I've got a full grad load of 15 credits worth of classes, which makes me nervous! I'm taking Contemporary Trends, which is my 20th Century Music Review class, Voice Ped 2, Voice Lessons, Symphonic Choir, a Music History Elective class that is on just Rachmaninoff and Tchaikovsky (I'm so excited!), AND... wait for it... <b>Singing in Russian</b>. Uhhhhh............ this class just, well I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I'm taking this class! I can barely speak clearly in ENGLISH and now I'm going to learn how to sing in RUSSIAN? Whoa! lol. I'm excited though that I'm taking that and the Music History Elective at the same time - talk about a great combination! :)<br />
<br />
I looked at two housing options this week, and the one really feels like it's the one! I'm trying not to get my hopes up, and have just been praying that if it's where the Lord has for me, then that it will work out. Things are still just as difficult here in this current situation, but I've come to see that through this fiasco the past two weeks, that this moment and experience is simply a time to grow stronger in the Lord, and to continue to stand firm in His Word! The most important thing I can do right now is to remember to remain joyful in time of trial! (Thanks, Laura!) I thought for a while that I just managed to trick myself into believing that this place I'm in right now wasn't really from the Lord, and that it was the enemy using it against me to keep me from Him. But today as I was driving home from campus, I came to the realization that this truly was an answer to our prayers, because without this living place now I wouldn't be able to be here. Though it's been difficult and at times unbearable, I believe that this is an opportunity the Lord set before me to first and foremost, like I already said, just provide a way to get me here, and to become ever more dependent on Him in every time, good and bad, and to rest in knowing that all He has planned for me is <i>good</i>. My attitude about it has been poor, and that's affected how I've been feeling about it all. But if I continue to rejoice, regardless of the circumstances, and to refuse to for a second not believe that the Lord is good, and will deliver me from this trial, then the Lord can work in me, helping me to foster a desire to never be separated from Him through my very own attitude!<br />
<br />
Attitude. What a silly thing, sometimes! Mine has been awful the past two weeks, and I'll be the first to admit it. I find it so embarrassing to look at the way I've been acting and see just how selfish and immature I've been, about so many things, and all simply because my attitude was in the wrong place! I've been struggling to see the Lord with me every day, and as a result I've fostered this ridiculous untrusting and dissatisfied position, holding on to everything that hurts me, every little thing that trips me up in a day, and creating so many unnecessary worries and troubles for myself! Well, I'm done. No more, no way no how! From this moment on, regardless of the situation, I choose to stand firm in God, in His Word and Truth, all the while knowing that absolutely every situation I encounter, He will be there with me waiting to guide my steps! I heard this song "Remind Me Who I Am" by Jason Gray for the first time last week, and it's absolutely amazing and so what I needed to hear through these past few weeks! These are the lyrics:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When I lose my way, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And I forget my name </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Remind me who I am </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In the mirror all I see </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Is who I don't wanna be </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Remind me who I am </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>In the loneliest places </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When I can't remember what grace is </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tell me, once again </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who I am to You, who I am to You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tell me, lest I forget </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who I am to You, that I belong to You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>To You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When my heart is like a stone, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>And I'm running far from home </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Remind me who I am </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>When I can't receive Your love </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Afraid I'll never be enough </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Remind me who I am </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>If I'm Your beloved, can You help me believe it?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tell me, once again </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who I am to you, who I am to You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tell me, lest I forget </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who I am to you, that I belong to You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>To You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>I'm the one You love, I'm the one You love </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>That will be enough, I'm the one You love </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tell me, once again </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who I am to you, who I am to You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Tell me, lest I forget </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Who I am to you, that I belong to You </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/QSIVjjY8Ou8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
What a song! I really could listen to this song all day, every day. Because it's something I need constantly! In this crazy world we live in, and in this difficult masters program I'm trying to be successful in, I need nothing more than to rest in the Truth that I am the one the Lord loves, and then to let that, to let Him, be my strength! I was telling Carola tonight that I'm so afraid that I'll never be able to hack this program out, because it is so very difficult. Especially when I look at my spring schedule! And that it's so hard for me to rest in knowing that this is exactly where the Lord wants me. Especially since it is so clear that He's the one who brought me here, without a doubt! Which is where I need to rest and fight these thoughts of being afraid I'll never be enough, or good enough... I simply need to remember who I am, and who loves me. Foregoing my fears and insecurities, wholeheartedly handing them over to my Father, who has His wonderful plan for me, a plan which I am currently unfolding, and in which I will succeed if I just keep my focus solely on Him. I know that if I let Him, He will do miraculous things in my life. He is all I need. While Princeton may sometimes feel like the loneliest and most impossible place to be right now, it is where He has brought me. And He is constantly here with me, therefore I shouldn't feel as lonely as I have! I am going to focus this week of remembering who I am, and who the Lord says I am, because He loves me and will see to it that my life is one of great reward, because He is a God who is faithful to those who love and serve Him. He is the same yesterday, today, and forever! I'm reminded of something that John Sinclair said to us one night at home groups in the spring... he said "Our lives are a picture of what we think about God! You're not going to do bigger than you think! He can always "out big" us!" Posing the questions to us: <b>Do you see God as big enough to take care of you? Do you believe who He says He is? In every little minute area of your life?</b></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
God wants nothing more than to infuse us all with hope. To renew our faith and our hope in Him. We have a God who makes us whole. In those situations that are troubling us, if we follow God's lead there is hope, success, and blessing. There's nothing wrong with God, there's nothing wrong with His Word, and by the Blood of Jesus Christ there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with us! We can't allow our thinking to be framed by what anyone says to us in this world! The Word that God speaks about us in every area of our lives is true! I love this - it's not what you have in your pocket, it's WHO you have! And that's Jesus. And He loves you and wants nothing more than you to come to Him on your knees ready and willing to take that step out in faith - to give everything to Him. And trust that He is in control. We are qualified through Him who qualifies us! There is absolutely nothing in this world that we can face that we can't overcome through Him. So today, I choose to give thanks in every situation, be it good or bad, and to completely surrender everything I am and everything I have to the God who loves me so much more than I could ever fully comprehend.<br />
<br />
Remind me who I am, Lord, so that I may live fully in Your grace, ever aware of your Spirit, resting in the peace that I'm the one you love, I belong to You, and that You will never leave my side. I am humbled by Your everlasting love and mercy, Father.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Casting the whole of your care [all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all] on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully. </i>- 1 Peter 5:7</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!] 6 So we take comfort and are encouraged and confidently and boldly say, The Lord is my Helper; I will not be seized with alarm [I will not fear or dread or be terrified]. What can man do to me? - </i>Hebrews 13:5-6</div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-20673313905788784772011-10-08T00:45:00.001-04:002012-01-31T21:26:40.976-05:00I will praise you in this storm...Wow! It's been a crazy past few weeks. I'm so sorry it's been a few weeks since I've updated my blog here! Things have just been absolutely insane!<br />
<br />
Where to begin? Well! I think I'm finally starting to find a sense of schedule after the Bocelli choir craziness! Which is good. I feel like I might be able to finally start to have a sense of self here now! School is going okay - it's just so very hard. Not that I expected it to be easy by any means, but I truly didn't expect it to be this difficult. I'm pretty good at adapting to jumping back into school mode and staying afloat in my classes, but here I feel like I'm drowning sometimes under all the work I have to do! Not to mention most days I just feel completely dumb. Everyone here is so talented and so insanely intelligent sometimes I feel like I can barely compare! It's kinda rough. Though, that's life sometimes I guess! What makes it even harder right now is that I had the most amazing weekend last weekend at home and in Indiana with my family and friends.. and that's made it even harder to come back here to a place where I feel like I barely have a handle on my chaotic life!<br />
<br />
My voice lessons are absolutely phenomenal! In fact, my voice teacher was being observed last week by the chair of the graduate voice studies (or something like that!) and she told me this week when I told her about how I was so frustrated with myself and my voice that last week in my lesson, the chair who was observing her for her review, was absolutely stunned and completely impressed with me. He couldn't believe how I immediately improved on what we were working on in the lesson and literally said to Professor Thomas, "That voice has HUGE potential... HUGE." Talk about making me feel better about the progress I'm making! It's so reassuring to know that I'm not wasting my time and that I'm actually making progress with my voice! We've got a long way to go to get it to where it needs to be, but slowly we'll get there. And Professor Thomas assures me that I'm right where I need to be! :)<br />
<br />
It's been a very trying week here. I'm currently in the middle of a housing fiasco, as I've started to call it, and essentially what it boils to down is this - I'm miserable here. This living situation is not what I expected it to be, and to be successful in any way the rest of this semester, I need to find elsewhere to call my home. And for my health, both physical and emotional, it is best that I find somewhere else and to move out of here. Though the thought of moving, while so very hopeful, fills me with absolute dread. I have a tiny car and a lot of stuff ... and conveniently no boxes or totes to pack full, since I sent them all home with Momma. It could be interesting. I'm going to look at a place next week that seems to be a good fit from first impressions, and I just keep praying that it will be. I will be so relieved when this whole thing is situated and taken care of. As I was talking to my voice teacher about this fiasco in my lesson, she said something to me that has continued to be in the front of my mind all week. I told her about how I'm struggling to really feel like I belong here, that I can succeed in this program and simply that I will be "good enough" and she said to me simply something along these lines "Oh, Jess - first of all, you wouldn't be here if you weren't good enough. And isn't it just so fitting of the enemy to put his hand to this whole situation? Making it feel even worse than it is? That's how you know you're meant to be here - that darn devil is present in the whole of it. Though the best part is, we're not gonna let him win, now are we?" Talk about a sure moment from the Lord! The exact moments I'm barely holding on by a thread here, consumed by the worry and fear from all the mountains in front me, and there is the Lord speaking to me plain as day through Professor Thomas. It still gives me goosebumps when I think about it. And it's so true! But yet, I continually find reason to believe that I'm not good enough to be here and that I was crazy to think I could ever successfully achieve my master's degree. When all that's really doing is inviting the enemy in to mess with me in any way he can get his hands on me, because by feeling that I shouldn't be here, I'm basically saying "Lord, you're wrong. I can't do this." HAH! Holy cow. Talk about absurd! Isn't it ironic that the times when we're feeling the most lost and confused, when we need the Lord more than anything, indirectly our actions are what's keeping us from Him?<br />
<br />
Wow. What a caring, loving, and compassionate God we serve. Every time I deny His goodness by living in my little pity party here in New Jersey, He reaches out to me even more to show me that through it all He's never left my side, and that He never will. Most days I feel incredibly lonely here, having left all my friends and family behind me at home, in Indiana, Pittsburgh, Ohio, and even the Caribbean. But how can I feel lonely when I have my Father with me every step of the way, every minute of the day? I will continually be in awe of the love that the Lord has for me, even when I continue to make myself bigger than Him. I may feel like the world is crashing down around me most days here, and especially in the midst of this housing fiasco on top of the seemingly infinite piles of schoolwork, but I will continue to praise you and you alone, Father. You will see me through this storm, and those to come, because you are constant - you never change, and you never will. You are faithful to those who love you and follow you. And for that, I will be eternally thankful.<br />
<br />
<i>God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. </i><br />
<i>- James 1:12</i><br />
<br />
This week things will start to slow down after my first big exam in voice pedagogy on Monday. I'm so worried about this test, but my plans for the weekend are to lock myself away and study until my brain hurts! lol. Prayers are so very appreciated to help calm my nerves about this exam!<br />
<br />
Here are a few pictures from my wonderful weekend getaway home and to Indiana! My heart aches for the life I left in Indiana, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that this is where I am supposed to be. So here I will stay until I have completed what the Lord has for me here!<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEIbtanffY5PUQLugGaQynA99il8E17kOB_dEyqr_ebweWXXEc15oyB8guOiGaA5m6hFHR-89RTpKhFVtdjS3lfHVyn5PmLFZ0Etb2wYALIbkcQB-hgejKo4PXC49KHv9q1bQ8Vy-BEEw/s1600/115_4172.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="325" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAEIbtanffY5PUQLugGaQynA99il8E17kOB_dEyqr_ebweWXXEc15oyB8guOiGaA5m6hFHR-89RTpKhFVtdjS3lfHVyn5PmLFZ0Etb2wYALIbkcQB-hgejKo4PXC49KHv9q1bQ8Vy-BEEw/s400/115_4172.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Grammy can never keep her eyeballs open! Oh, well. It's cute anyway! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWqgFgchgeI37LUMUwIZ9kQpPbG0O1iSpIZ6AieKKD6627DiMlN0ySPLcwT56-0b7CKnHxbtSDGVGzbNd17LIm1f4eSBIUxUClwBC88HbMwDnR2LFIBumzPRmGfVBU7hrVxHZSsXwT7lU/s1600/115_4179.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHWqgFgchgeI37LUMUwIZ9kQpPbG0O1iSpIZ6AieKKD6627DiMlN0ySPLcwT56-0b7CKnHxbtSDGVGzbNd17LIm1f4eSBIUxUClwBC88HbMwDnR2LFIBumzPRmGfVBU7hrVxHZSsXwT7lU/s400/115_4179.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Sister loving :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB7dn-2F-29FiesSGpbjc6AafN79H5VtdwPaKU7W0BrWdKPctb4_LiWY7IiWrrN3VhsnNpoPQ5afGju8yvToUxU6rQphHjo8Qbju9Ef6RL04jsFApMwehSrL9a3NjdvyfXRCP_HnSaRqAh/s1600/115_4188.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="345" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjB7dn-2F-29FiesSGpbjc6AafN79H5VtdwPaKU7W0BrWdKPctb4_LiWY7IiWrrN3VhsnNpoPQ5afGju8yvToUxU6rQphHjo8Qbju9Ef6RL04jsFApMwehSrL9a3NjdvyfXRCP_HnSaRqAh/s400/115_4188.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My heart belongs to this boy! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg44HeoFC3qsuNBbeWSQtAQd_9BsiVJCOFD6t8CGlEj4ub445Lu6GDNxe5iq89An2fOOupITG-0UZ-wncbgxkkkEWQCTwPGGi_8fjPaHb_nW9DK5XB6yxhRqueqmHxnS15be4ezkHynbI0w/s1600/115_4192.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg44HeoFC3qsuNBbeWSQtAQd_9BsiVJCOFD6t8CGlEj4ub445Lu6GDNxe5iq89An2fOOupITG-0UZ-wncbgxkkkEWQCTwPGGi_8fjPaHb_nW9DK5XB6yxhRqueqmHxnS15be4ezkHynbI0w/s400/115_4192.JPG" width="365" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Kisses for Aunt Jessa <3 This makes me miss him so much more!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Gd_FHPbYtrXjFUrSG88uq3HXxWJDk2DiK6VB8MjFNbgModm8kMovbfUS6t6_Siuljk-Ya9yucjhc1KlHSjSxmP-UAi4euMbse81YGE1ytqfvbrWR3EhBZeGlKdQ49MVhw2AjUAS15Us_/s1600/115_4213.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-Gd_FHPbYtrXjFUrSG88uq3HXxWJDk2DiK6VB8MjFNbgModm8kMovbfUS6t6_Siuljk-Ya9yucjhc1KlHSjSxmP-UAi4euMbse81YGE1ytqfvbrWR3EhBZeGlKdQ49MVhw2AjUAS15Us_/s400/115_4213.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Momma and I at the Homecoming Parade in Indiana! So happy! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL0YpqqSxB011T1KfhzqdZ0HLMXzmUE0AzNYHHMc7ebHwAsaDehsQl5nqB5SLh-Z3JYzgXo3wCZYrVsWjbv12pPfrvgwKxel1KhGxwERME6vHVIQdFPIeJEDzTtrB0D5HOttuKHLeP89Vf/s1600/115_4214.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjL0YpqqSxB011T1KfhzqdZ0HLMXzmUE0AzNYHHMc7ebHwAsaDehsQl5nqB5SLh-Z3JYzgXo3wCZYrVsWjbv12pPfrvgwKxel1KhGxwERME6vHVIQdFPIeJEDzTtrB0D5HOttuKHLeP89Vf/s400/115_4214.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">DAN WAS THERE! Best surprise of the whole day! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLrcmGSAGHBC-JGBlAeLdMOzxDoNnTYJ0LveKnScOykVByUL8Cnq7SI2Q5oqD8J3BoqcGyoXTsaZEkj5OnmHaf-0a3KUWpxbjdc5SeBg7oBA14ykzwZN8Ua6NKqSNaiR7pu2vIXzRKnian/s1600/115_4232.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLrcmGSAGHBC-JGBlAeLdMOzxDoNnTYJ0LveKnScOykVByUL8Cnq7SI2Q5oqD8J3BoqcGyoXTsaZEkj5OnmHaf-0a3KUWpxbjdc5SeBg7oBA14ykzwZN8Ua6NKqSNaiR7pu2vIXzRKnian/s400/115_4232.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Some of the most wonderful people I know! <3</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9p-xGxFjXqAok4VJ9fOsFC0k5bQn3CLHWZ76OykqA8xE4HmmDA60c_wDOtkyszK6cLlS_LdzYsao1MRTYtwVQ-8ML4-nkF9wElGylLpAWWmJoR5IFdeTLuSzupNworBkYkiPnr4wR5BEn/s1600/115_4237.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9p-xGxFjXqAok4VJ9fOsFC0k5bQn3CLHWZ76OykqA8xE4HmmDA60c_wDOtkyszK6cLlS_LdzYsao1MRTYtwVQ-8ML4-nkF9wElGylLpAWWmJoR5IFdeTLuSzupNworBkYkiPnr4wR5BEn/s400/115_4237.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Momma took me to the Commonplace! I don't think I could've had a better day in Indiana!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-75516255169666675842011-09-24T01:42:00.001-04:002012-01-31T21:27:21.338-05:00Among the stars... or Star?HELLO! LONG TIME NO BLOG! bahahaha! My goodness what a crazy past few weeks it's been! Sorry I haven't been able to update, but life has just been go, go, go, with hardly any time to get everything I need to get done for school alone finished! Talk about busy!!<br />
<br />
As you all should know from my probably near obnoxiously constant facebook rants, last week was one of the most amazing experiences of my entire life. I got to sing on stage in a choir of 100 of the best vocalists from Symphonic Choir merely as backup singers for Andrea Bocelli, Bryn Terfel, Ana Maria Martinez, Pretty Yende, Tony Bennett, and Celine Dion, while getting the amazing opportunity to perform with and see wonderful musicians such as Chris Botti, David Foster, Andrea Griminelli, and of course the New York Philharmonic! Whew! I'd call that being "among the stars" for sure! I seriously don't think it gets better than that. :) I'm not sure I'll ever be able to match that experience musically for the rest of my life! I think the only thing better would be getting to sing with Anna! (Anna Netrebko of course, to whom I refer to only as "Anna" ... because clearly we're on a first name basis! I WISH! lol!) At one point we were singing "Amazing Grace," and talk about an amazing opportunity to worship! Now I know I probably should've been paying better attention while performing, but just for a second close your eyes and picture this for me - you're on stage in Central Park, standing behind the New York Philharmonic Orchestra while Andrea Bocelli is singing "Amazing Grace," and tell me you don't feel the Lord's presence just emanating from every fiber of your being! I was lost in such a deep moment of praising my Father, that for a second I forgot that I was hanging out with Andrea Bocelli! In such a song that already has so much emotional meaning for me, from the innate emotion conveyed through the text and music alone, to the feelings and tearjerking ties it represents of my long passed friend, hero, and big sister, Whitney who we lost too soon.. It was absolutely phenomenal. I had goosebumps up and down my entire body from beginning to end, and especially during Grace - and these are the kind of goosebumps that didn't come from the cold and rain!!! In those moments spent in rehearsal, on stage, traveling, in concert, and barely sleeping that entire week, it was made even more clear to me just how <i>good</i> the Lord is! I would never have had such an opportunity to a) even be here at WCC or b) sing with such legends and stars in the middle of Central Park if it was not what He had planned for me! What an amazing truth.<br />
<br />
<i>And I am convinced and sure of this very thing, that He Who began a good work in you will continue until the day of Jesus Christ [right up to the time of His return], developing [that good work] and perfecting and bringing it to full completion in you. - Philippians 1:6, Amplified</i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
That Scripture has completely kept me lost in Him these past few scary, hectic, and amazing weeks here in New Jersey. Looking around me on campus, in classes, and just in general I always have this fear that I'm not good enough, and that I'll never be good enough so why should I put so much effort into striving for perfection, for lack of a better word, when in the end I'll not get the reward that I seek? Well let me tell you, this Scripture has been my rock and my stronghold when that fear starts to creep in! And ironically, it was at the center of the Message Sunday night at the Nassau Christian Center Sunday night Worship that I happened to come across! And I'm so thankful that the Lord put it in my heart to attend this service, because He was totally speaking to me and everyone there the entire time! I finally found a home here, a place among other brothers and sisters of Christ who will accept me the way that He's made me with open arms! What a relief. Princeton, a month into the game, is finally starting to get comfortable! In emailing one of the wonderful ladies I met through NCC about the Bible Study they have during the week, I shared with her about how blessed I feel that the Lord had this church waiting for me, that He knew I would need this and how happy I am that He provided it for me! Her reply to me was perfect, and I can't stop smiling every time I think about it! She said, <b>"Yeah, pretty much God is awesome and He loves his babies so much." </b>It's so true! I love it. What an awesome way of looking at it! He loves me so much that I can't even convey the depths of His love!<br />
<br />
Which leads me to today. And before I get there, let me back up and make this slightly more clear. As I just said, the past few weeks have been nothing but scary and hectic.. this whole experience is frightening and big and scary and honestly makes me want to curl up in a ball and cry some days. And because of the nature of what I am doing with my life here, hanging out in the midst of musicians all day long, it can be and is very competitive, very demanding, and very unsettling at times. In between classes you're thinking to yourself, "Is this really what I want to do for the rest of my life? Spend my days competing against others to maybe hopefully just once even get cast in a role in just the chorus at the Met or any other opera company for that fact? Will I ever be ready for the rejection that I will face for the rest of my life?" ... I have spent more time than I wish to admit every day I've been here lost in a sea of fear - of past failures reliving themselves before my eyes to taint what could be a life of future failures as the wannabe star. I have been miserable some days with dread at the coming work in my classes, because it is so, so hard. So much harder than any class I've ever had in my life, ever. I'm struggling. That can't be past tense, because I am struggling with some of the work being asked of me - especially in the Graduate Musicianship Review class, which is Theory Review. (Yuck-O!) And so it's been kind of an unsettling time in the midst of Bocelli craziness and then this past week afterwards. And as I was speaking with someone about these very fears I've been having, and just struggling in general, they simply looked at me and said "You know what, bottom line? You wouldn't be here if you weren't good enough or if you weren't supposed to be." And it was left at that. But it got me thinking about how we all have those days, in my case it's been a lot more than others, where we feel worthless. We feel so down on ourselves about this or that, and just literally feel like there's no way out - I'm no good, nobody wants me, why do I even try? kind of days. And some of you who were privileged (haha!) to know me since my freshman year at IUP or even MORE privileged (tehe!) to have know me growing up know that that's something I have really, really struggled with, my self image/self confidence and believing in myself. Well, as I was rushing to class this morning after trying to hurriedly finish my homework that I fell asleep on (literally.. no joke) I was so worried about not doing well on my dictation "exam" this morning. Our professor collects our dictation practice in class on Friday's and I knew it was coming... I was dreading it. Absolutely dreading it. En route to class I was feeling already not good enough because I didn't understand the theory homework I was supposed to have finished for today. It didn't make sense to me, mainly because I get so worked up about it that I end up overthinking it. (No surprise there!) And as I rushed through the pouring rain, all I could keep saying was "Lord, just please be with me." Over and over and over again. I got to class, sat down, and tried to calm down a little bit so I could have somewhat of a chance to do well on the melodic and harmonic examples we were about to dictate. And it was immediately, once it started all that stress, and hustle and bustle frustration just left - before I even knew it was gone! And all I did was just listen. Listen harder than I've ever listened for dictation before in my life! When we passed them in, I felt oddly calm about it all, when it dawned on me that oh wait a minute, the Lord just TOTALLY answered my prayer! He was right there with me the entire time. And guess what? I ended up getting both the harmonic and melodic dictation right! Talk about a wake up call! Then later today we had to perform in quartets as a part of a grade for Symphonic Choir on the end of the 2nd movement in the Brahms Requiem, and I was scared to death. Quite literally sick to my stomach over the impending performance. But again, all I knew to do was call on the Lord and ask Him to just be with me. He didn't even have to perform any miracles... I just wanted Him by my side as I stood up in front of the entire section 2 of Symphonic Choir to sing with my quartet, in front of many who were just hearing me sing for the very first time. And I got an email tonight from Dr. Quist thanking me for being so prepared and to let me know that I received an A for my hearing today.<br />
<br />
It's amazing to me that right before our very eyes is the confirmation we seek to know that the Lord is right here with us, every single second of every single day. And yet, we miss it and Him how many times a day? I'll be honest, I get so wrapped up in the demands of the day and my everyday life that I often fail to realize that He's standing right by my side - never letting go and never leaving, not even if I doubt that He's truly there. The Lord is completely faithful in His promise to be present with me every single minute of every single day.. and yet, I still continue to doubt His goodness. Although, even in my doubt, He loves me so much that He doesn't leave my side. What a beginning to this crazy grad school adventure it's been, and what peace I have found resting in His breathtaking presence. I may have been able to sing among many stars last week, but the Lord is the one and only Star of the universe, of my life. And what a privilege it is to be able to call Him mine and I His. I will never cease to be amazed at His magnificent love for us all and how, through no efforts of our own, we will always be blessed to be standing beside the most important Star of all, for without fail the Lord will always be beside us holding our hand through every challenge or victory He has laid out before us. What a tremendously faithful and loving God we serve. ♥<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - </div>
<a name='more'></a><br />
<br />
For those of you who were gracious enough to read through all that blubber, here's a surprise for you! If you want to think of it as a surprise, anyway. LOL! I cut a clip from my voice lesson this week with Nova Thomas of me rehearsing "Cäcilie," by Richard Strauss, which I sang on my senior recital at IUP if you were there! I kind of blew up my facebook the other day with the news of Professor Thomas telling me that I am not even using my voice to its full capacity, that "it's bigger than I think it is." Well, if you take note and listen to this, especially if you back to back it with the recording of me singing Cäcilie at Departmental, Fall 2009 at IUP, and if your ears are truly attune to what's happening, you won't believe what you hear just from one lesson with Nova Thomas. This blows my mind! It's like night and day! The video from my lesson isn't too rich, but it was too large and I had to cut it down. Anyway. Enjoy!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/A2j6B54h6Ds?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Cäcilie, Departmental 2009</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.blogger.com/video.g?token=AD6v5dy_KtWXrx43aJS-TzlJEVqQQW8bY4bnrzi-qEE8p8nye88_KlENg8i2nZhjZpNJVLIHi5AmB5QWkxVIPlCbqw' class='b-hbp-video b-uploaded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Cäcilie, Voice Lesson 9/23/11</div>
<br />
<br />
Crazy, huh? In just one lesson it's more full, more energized, it's spinning and is more clear and free. It literally felt EFFORTLESS. And singing, let alone this song, has never felt so free and uncomplicated in my life. Also, the fun of this is getting to hear a little of my voice teacher interacting with me! She's a hoot and a half!! Not to mention utterly amazing!!!!<br />
<br />
I've got a lot of work ahead of me these next few days and weeks, and I'm hoping to finally settle into some kind of a schedule now since everything has returned to "normal," as normal as normal can be. So I hope to keep updating more often!<br />
<br />
Here are a few pics from the Bocelli concert in case you missed them on facebook! :)<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8nBVjutRhEH-pWraDsZATFqtG_x1TVtzizQFYGZn7y05610j39ulu3pZdJe8q6TY8FIw5-XCvNJ3jiDWVibEL8La8zXgeErR1bJSW8DHpoRvXmMxyDRaDyRVsaHfqsU2lzvcM4MqQ_DD/s1600/Photo1027B.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgu8nBVjutRhEH-pWraDsZATFqtG_x1TVtzizQFYGZn7y05610j39ulu3pZdJe8q6TY8FIw5-XCvNJ3jiDWVibEL8La8zXgeErR1bJSW8DHpoRvXmMxyDRaDyRVsaHfqsU2lzvcM4MqQ_DD/s640/Photo1027B.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I love this picture. :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2axqlAEY-ryYjnmC1IJAaJhGXjdMnZ3QVdVNnkzuvSkDluSgEKFvu-rZEzOIEvF1LPY0tYBZqcji9mQMSU1LHEjoFEZ3UiSZ1tbE0IPa7CLT4mAENtlMI4d1m2afRneX7_7F3mkupcShY/s1600/336204_242959552416766_115140218532034_726921_96415087_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg2axqlAEY-ryYjnmC1IJAaJhGXjdMnZ3QVdVNnkzuvSkDluSgEKFvu-rZEzOIEvF1LPY0tYBZqcji9mQMSU1LHEjoFEZ3UiSZ1tbE0IPa7CLT4mAENtlMI4d1m2afRneX7_7F3mkupcShY/s400/336204_242959552416766_115140218532034_726921_96415087_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Dr. Miller rehearsing us during sound check... uhm, please check out the amazing view behind him!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtA2yUtzsxoKxxF15MlRqqnYGkBM5DQC2uAO-4zVyQAR9vZQKW2pDTyAPtHeNRTnpUZR2_vzC2cUO4l6BoL73YaCpHDour5fu8i83DwECibmiaMRsDFF1mYsQm74g3zFGD-ggVnzHjmc93/s1600/299198_243067802405941_115140218532034_727211_317134850_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtA2yUtzsxoKxxF15MlRqqnYGkBM5DQC2uAO-4zVyQAR9vZQKW2pDTyAPtHeNRTnpUZR2_vzC2cUO4l6BoL73YaCpHDour5fu8i83DwECibmiaMRsDFF1mYsQm74g3zFGD-ggVnzHjmc93/s400/299198_243067802405941_115140218532034_727211_317134850_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This is Angela, Allie, and myself with Bryn Terfel, a Welsh Baritone who is PHENOMENAL!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQkKq_VpozVcSOY1vp84tAxHYKeSQJRv-j8SdFZ3R2_L-LNCNbS4870SQPikAwD3J-AMVI4s0Z2VA7ovN-VdBn9GHzL7dolkrLHWr0VVXqvuqmwE7A1y56NbyMT3BWYxR1t3r9JAVbhUM/s1600/315078_243067629072625_115140218532034_727207_761917883_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBQkKq_VpozVcSOY1vp84tAxHYKeSQJRv-j8SdFZ3R2_L-LNCNbS4870SQPikAwD3J-AMVI4s0Z2VA7ovN-VdBn9GHzL7dolkrLHWr0VVXqvuqmwE7A1y56NbyMT3BWYxR1t3r9JAVbhUM/s400/315078_243067629072625_115140218532034_727207_761917883_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Ahh, the life among the stars... :D</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9qOTuB6ZWnV1H0dgDLbG_ENPrwX5X2e7HEWN2DGBPNKQ0uDP9UOENemckCJQg76BqAB4NmINPmwwtjipaVVBdaSzPVgu27fwYiy8OMbZUtuazBJo7lxsP6E3WMBvAGR8XAevrjk0-405/s1600/318478_243067935739261_115140218532034_727216_1639717661_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="265" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhe9qOTuB6ZWnV1H0dgDLbG_ENPrwX5X2e7HEWN2DGBPNKQ0uDP9UOENemckCJQg76BqAB4NmINPmwwtjipaVVBdaSzPVgu27fwYiy8OMbZUtuazBJo7lxsP6E3WMBvAGR8XAevrjk0-405/s400/318478_243067935739261_115140218532034_727216_1639717661_n.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">CELINE DION!! And I'm literally smack dab right beside her, to the left of her as you're looking at the picture, with my arm around her!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjRNURJ5DtRid467JqlyzhKakFus2VE-a3rva0vdrIMnlVCjP7UT9c0G78KC4UPs5SIMcLqTh52-t3E1Br9KCe8hSD5n-O7PJuNKtqK5ezvQemX6VAX3jPc4uQ0-prQeB6gd_B_9841TG1/s1600/Photo0972.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="640" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhjRNURJ5DtRid467JqlyzhKakFus2VE-a3rva0vdrIMnlVCjP7UT9c0G78KC4UPs5SIMcLqTh52-t3E1Br9KCe8hSD5n-O7PJuNKtqK5ezvQemX6VAX3jPc4uQ0-prQeB6gd_B_9841TG1/s640/Photo0972.jpg" width="480" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My very first visit ever to the ever splendid Metropolitan Opera :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnsCNdMAVa0ZLjhuGO8jJuIHcLOJ3K48EwpCmhV1YsU_4y5rZrSOHHNgcj-2MZZ1FkG0nJVyicIkfboGjJnAS75rUt1djiz6MoYR3B9EmNibiQI7X4BT7P7bbmB2DAMsJRUnwk-6FFoHX2/s1600/331678_242960352416686_115140218532034_726945_367378372_o.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnsCNdMAVa0ZLjhuGO8jJuIHcLOJ3K48EwpCmhV1YsU_4y5rZrSOHHNgcj-2MZZ1FkG0nJVyicIkfboGjJnAS75rUt1djiz6MoYR3B9EmNibiQI7X4BT7P7bbmB2DAMsJRUnwk-6FFoHX2/s400/331678_242960352416686_115140218532034_726945_367378372_o.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bocelli getting interviewed, probably for the PBS special, right beside our tent!!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-9084645444656118412011-09-05T20:17:00.002-04:002012-01-31T21:28:02.644-05:00You're my constant!<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
WOW! What a crazy insane week it has been! I was just thinking about everything that I've been through in the past week - moving, unpacking, being in the middle of a hurricane, repacking to relocate for a week, orientation, what feels like a bajillion exams, two auditions, getting my car checked out an hour away, re-moving BACK into my place, and then finally having a day to relax! Whew! I can't believe I survived! </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Due to the lovely Hurricane Irene that wiped out my electricity for almost an entire week, I had to spend most of last week at my friend Tim's house, who I went to IUP with! Thank the Lord, and oh so literally too, that Tim was so close! I don't know what I would've done without that! Due to the electricity being out in Princeton for some time as well, our orientation/exams, which were supposed to begin on Tuesday last week were all pushed back a day to Wednesday. Which translates to us having scheduled nearly a 12 hour day of nothing but exams, hearings, and orientation related things! It was EXHAUSTING. Especially in the midst of being relocated! What a crazy start to this grad school adventure!! Thursday was a little less hectic, with just more orientation things like a tour of the library and a financial aid session and then just my piano proficiency hearing. Friday we registered for classes, and then I hopped in Luigi to take him to a Suzuki place about an hour away to get him checked out - some kind of mode control thing broke so I'll need to travel back there sometime once they get the part in to get that fixed. Thank goodness it broke when it did because my warranty ends TOMORROW! Whew!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As far as auditions, I had an opera audition which wasn't the greatest audition I ever had Saturday afternoon, and then my choral hearing was last night. I was the absolute last person on the whole of the campus to have their choral hearing. Talk about a way to end it! lol! Turns out though that I was chosen to participate in the "Concert Under the Stars" with Andrea Bocelli in Central Park next Saturday night!! Whoo!! I'm so excited, but it's going to be an exhausting week and a half with the ridiculous rehearsal schedule we have! I feel so absolutely blessed to be able to kick off my career here at WCC with this concert! Talk about an opportunity! :) Here is a website I found that talks about the concert and when it will be aired on PBS! <a href="http://www.pbs.org/about/news/archive/2011/andrea-bocelli-arts/">Concert Under the Stars</a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Saturday night was SO much fun - I met 4 other first year grads at what is apparently THE place for Indian in Princeton! It was SOOOOO good! And then a few of us meandered around downtown checking some places out. While we were at Thomas Sweet, one of the many ice cream places downtown, there was a couple that got engaged right outside! It was so stinking cute!!!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
I got an opportunity to speak to my voice professor last night, she called me to clarify some scheduling things, and oh my goodness she is AMAZING! I'm studying with Nova Thomas, who from her bio alone seems incredible! (Read her <a href="http://www.rider.edu/faculty/nova-thomas">bio</a> if you have a second! It should be linked there on "bio") We spent nearly 10 minutes on the phone just talking about what I auditioned with at my hearings over the weekend, what the studio and campus is like, who she is, who I am, etc. And I quote, she told me verbatim, "Oh sweetie, you have been placed into such a delicious group of people! My studio is a tiny one but such a phenomenal one! You should feel lucky - I feel lucky for you to be in my studio! I have a waiting list 2 blocks long to get into my studio! I am so excited for you!" << She is WONDERFUL! And she has a bit of a southern drawl too, which triggers the deja vu! Bahahahaha! OH I can't wait to get to work with her! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Other than that, I've just been kind of laying around and relaxing watching a lot of Bones and talking to my Momma! Spent some time tonight actually skyping with Ninny, Karen, and Zay, which was SO much fun! I have got to remember to turn my Skype on regularly! lol. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
It's been such a great start to this whole new world this past week, albeit a wee bit crazy. I was thinking today how great it's been to just completely and totally be able to rely on the Lord for the help that I needed getting through it all. I felt so completely unprepared for all my tests, hearings, and auditions that I just was to the point where I just had to completely take myself out of it and know that He was all I needed to get through it! Turns out I passed my Music History placement exam and my piano proficiency exam! Whoohoo! That's 2 less review classes I need to take! I only have to take the Graduate Musicianship Review class, which is all theory and skills, and then a review for 20th century analysis which is an undergrad class called Contemporary Trends. I'm taking the Grad Musicianship Review this semester and then will take Contemporary Trends in the spring. Talk about feeling blessed! I went into these exams expecting to take every review class offered, and I only came out having to take 2! Whoohoo! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
As I began to write this blog, I was listening to Francesca Battistelli on my itunes on shuffle, and the song "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oBUn-2Ifso0&ob=av2n">Constant</a>" came on. These are the first few lyrics:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>I'm just a little bit afraid of where I'm going</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>And it feels like a hurricane is blowing over</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Though I can't find the ground below</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>I've lived enough to know</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>I've lived enough to know</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>You're my constant in every moment</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>Constant You've never failed me</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>All my life You have never left my side</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i>You are my constant</i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
And first of all, I burst into laughter at the irony of these lyrics - what with you know, NJ literally being blown over by a hurricane upon my arrival last weekend! lol. I love this song, and now it has even more meaning than before! :) But it's so very true - the Lord has <b>always</b> been my constant, and that won't change no matter where I am! Which is so very comforting starting this brand new chapter! I started to get worried looking at the rehearsal schedule for the Bocelli choir next week, WThF we have rehearsal from 2:30 - 11 each day, in New York I believe. Which means I will miss more than 1 class AND my voice lesson! Talk about not a good way to start my second week! And missing that much already made me so very nervous, but then it dawned on me - it's okay. I wouldn't be going or participating in this choir if it wasn't where the Lord wanted me, so the fact that I'm missing classes and my lesson shouldn't bother me. Yes, I'll do the work to make it up, and I may have to seek some extra help from classmates or the teacher to get completely caught up but hey - who am I to argue? He is my constant, my constant who's never left my side and who has never, who will never, fail me. I couldn't think of what a better peace and truth to live in as I start classes and rehearsals this week. Bring it on, world - I've got the Lord on my side! :)</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div>
<b><i>
</i></b><br />
<b><i></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">Here are a few pictures from the past week! Enjoy! :)</span></span></i></b></div>
<b><i>
</i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><br /></span></span></i></b></div>
<b><i>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFJajlFmqtlVYPuAEmt1P-WCZ_uhDpyjT7crb2n0Z9zBYto9VWnMo8ButZSfEEAOZ6S0n9WSegPyyKgtkf5RVcSMjJ_Y6EfYb-JvDAmoJKWCWWqQyj9CrXIV-TmjWM614mROziuIyHpHeH/s1600/Photo0922.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFJajlFmqtlVYPuAEmt1P-WCZ_uhDpyjT7crb2n0Z9zBYto9VWnMo8ButZSfEEAOZ6S0n9WSegPyyKgtkf5RVcSMjJ_Y6EfYb-JvDAmoJKWCWWqQyj9CrXIV-TmjWM614mROziuIyHpHeH/s400/Photo0922.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My birthday cake that Tim bought me! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT_L2ItjzMUY2IIEHSu0mWKI1p40gh6I3tRW_3ofew5TD94hLuocj4WKJMfApxMI6uVQVt0ShiUgKpUaZljaBKX0SpjJAry1EgmJT2GCv-NOj8pZTzjp5-WRwuTFow6RJmRzy2kHtVf1Pa/s1600/Photo0926.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhT_L2ItjzMUY2IIEHSu0mWKI1p40gh6I3tRW_3ofew5TD94hLuocj4WKJMfApxMI6uVQVt0ShiUgKpUaZljaBKX0SpjJAry1EgmJT2GCv-NOj8pZTzjp5-WRwuTFow6RJmRzy2kHtVf1Pa/s400/Photo0926.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Bahaha! This picture cracks me up! I took this to send to my Mom, it's "our sign!"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ihGbeXYGIrkcCzuQyu7ktZv6uH4wq60MAhN5W9nwh3D36kBuvT3Q-XEnPdhHPT9Juxkhzn1IwRf8S840-RjN2GcgLGX8M9P4kKRtLvFSBRBns8HrStVbTtYvtDY_MoQ8PyTd4CNe-bP9/s1600/Photo0937.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg9ihGbeXYGIrkcCzuQyu7ktZv6uH4wq60MAhN5W9nwh3D36kBuvT3Q-XEnPdhHPT9Juxkhzn1IwRf8S840-RjN2GcgLGX8M9P4kKRtLvFSBRBns8HrStVbTtYvtDY_MoQ8PyTd4CNe-bP9/s400/Photo0937.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The infamous <a href="http://www.thehouseofcupcakes.com/home">House of Cupcakes</a> in downtown Princeton! They won "Cupcake Wars" on the Food Network!</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsNKeKcAZitPPnUf3czoYPaumeZgkpNeCriD5gGPLsASnBxUmNt02b-IDx0y9jeSQE6oQ6GcRJQa4MjzcO3RkcXcZqb1_Z0P7NHq6-WCiKPQIN7szz7w8ZbEU6zzgV7Jc4DidDd9D5GJOk/s1600/115_4112.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsNKeKcAZitPPnUf3czoYPaumeZgkpNeCriD5gGPLsASnBxUmNt02b-IDx0y9jeSQE6oQ6GcRJQa4MjzcO3RkcXcZqb1_Z0P7NHq6-WCiKPQIN7szz7w8ZbEU6zzgV7Jc4DidDd9D5GJOk/s400/115_4112.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Mmmmm.... my Peanut Butter Cup Cupcake from the House of Cupcakes! It was chocolate cupcake, chocolate frosting, and peanut butter cups on top! YUMMO! </td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; text-align: center;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i><b>So trust in the Lord (commit yourself to Him, lean on Him, hope confidently in Him) forever; for the Lord God is an everlasting Rock [the Rock of Ages]. - Isaiah 26:4</b></i></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i><b><br /></b></i></div>
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<i></i></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i></i></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i></i></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i></i></div>
<div style="font-style: normal; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<i></i></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Comforter <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>(Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, and Standby), </i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>that He may remain with you forever--</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><i></i></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><i>The Spirit of Truth, Whom the world cannot receive (welcome, take to its heart), because it does not see Him or know and recognize Him. But you know and recognize Him, for He lives with you [constantly] and will be in you. </i></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><i>
</i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>I will not leave you as orphans [comfortless, desolate, bereaved, forlorn, helpless]; I will come [back] to you.</i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>
</i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i>
</i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i>
</i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>
</i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i>
</i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i>
</i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></div>
</div>
</div>
<b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<div style="display: inline !important;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i></i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>- John 14:16-18</i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;"><i>
</i></span></i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i>
</i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i>
</i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i>
</i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i>
</i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i>
</i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<div style="display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div style="display: inline !important; text-align: left;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span><br />
<div class="" style="clear: both; display: inline !important; text-align: center;">
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i>
</i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i>
</i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i><i>
</i></i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i><i>
</i></i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><b><i><b><i>
</i></b></i></b></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal; font-weight: normal;"><b><i>
</i></b></span></i></b></span></div>
</div>
</div>
</i></b></span>
</i></b></div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-87834506050527883142011-08-30T18:30:00.003-04:002012-01-31T21:28:29.455-05:00Are you there, Lord?Hey! It's my birthday today!! I'm a whole whopping 23 years old! That's crazy!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLtG0gcf_wSGp7VERI-mxYR4WRd9QEgJQuSDAMTph3uBuyuQlVIoqQtvPThZal2D-LRX4ycrmet6jmqdfG7NYeU631YAvIxCGh87kFHAFyCNgYLMEVBCN9SGwXEbAhbxgRcdoxrprAcBk/s1600/115_3889.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihLtG0gcf_wSGp7VERI-mxYR4WRd9QEgJQuSDAMTph3uBuyuQlVIoqQtvPThZal2D-LRX4ycrmet6jmqdfG7NYeU631YAvIxCGh87kFHAFyCNgYLMEVBCN9SGwXEbAhbxgRcdoxrprAcBk/s400/115_3889.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
And hello - Whoa! What a start to the beginning of this brand new chapter in my life! Upon arrival in New Jersey, Mom and I barely beat Hurricane Irene! We were fortunate enough to get the cars unloaded before the storms began! But oh boy, once those storms started it was insane. Turns out, there was a tree about 4 houses up that took out a telephone pole and the wires - which is why for over 48 hours I have had no electricity. Talk about an adventure! Especially since it could be as early as September 4th before our electricity is restored!!! Finally last night, the ladies I live with and I decided it's time for me to relocate until the electricity comes back on! Fortunately, a friend of mine who I went to IUP with lives only a half hour away from Princeton and has graciously opened his home to me until that day comes when the electricity is back in full swing! (Thanks, Tim!!!!)<br />
<br />
Throughout these whole past few crazy insane days it has been difficult for me to stop and be able to recognize the Lord still ever present with me every step of the way! In fact, it wasn't until Adam so kindly posted birthday wishes on my facebook with that very reminder - "The Lord is with you every step of the way..." - that I remembered to stop and take time to thank Him for, amidst the crazy insanity of the turn of events, still being always with me! How AWESOME is that? So okay, there's this ridiculous hurricane that's devastated tons of homes, places, torn apart families, flooded roads, etc.... but the Lord is still personally hanging out with ME for the day? How could I be so selfish to not even recognize that fact? Truth is, whether I have electricity or not, I am guilty of constantly becoming so wrapped up in my own life that I completely forget that oh hey - there you are, Lord! Instead of it being "Are you there, Lord?" it truly should be "Hey, Lord! Thanks for spending the day with me!" How easily we take advantage of such an amazing blessing and promise, that the Lord of All will ALWAYS be with us no matter what! I just love it! And of course, it became harder to differentiate all of this insanity around new beginnings AND my birthday!! What a birthday present, right? Right this very minute I have been 23 years old for 12 hours and 14 minutes. Whoa! That will take some getting used to!<br />
<br />
As I sit here in this awesome looking Starbucks awaiting Tim's arrival home in which I can go meet him, I just keep thinking how absolutely thankful I am. Scared, yes. Nervous, yes. Worried, yes. Frightened, yes. Absolutely without a doubt just sick with worry over these placement exams - yes I really absolutely without a doubt know I should've studied more. Really I should be studying right now since all of our exams were pushed back a day due to the electric outage on campus too! And I will here once I finish this, but I thought it would be good to take a moment to update all of you on this crazy new adventure I'm on, with God in the driver's seat! I'm merely riding alongside Him as these plans for my future He has unfold before my very eyes. It really is the neatest and most amazing thing to be able to see Him absolutely fulfill every promise He has ever made us! I love it. And I love Him! And I am absolutely beyond thankful that I have the Lord who is ever so gracious and kind behind the wheel of my life, directing me amidst the chaotic insanity that sometimes ensues!<br />
<br />
Are you there, Lord? Well of course you are! And I am here, ready and willing to be quiet and listen for You to speak to my heart, Lord. And to live in the breathtaking truth that You are with me always, even now as I chill out here in this Starbucks writing this blog. Wow!<br />
<br />
<b><i>Have not I commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. - Joshua 1:9 (Amplified)</i></b>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-62822491246656800942011-08-24T00:32:00.002-04:002012-01-31T21:28:40.874-05:00Trust God, you are exactly where you are meant to be!<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hbJIX4dm9vlIQ2OGI6NvkLkqgeFNo-UbOzCjGPVfGS4phTTNl-VZK0uHkDdhaNk2vFoFYTAf0BgQBQ8fBoe7aPnQBQFdgB119RZmdUKVe_xXk0tjF9UxyrQnWGihzDVCfvSI0BVf1m5w/s1600/115_3984.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3hbJIX4dm9vlIQ2OGI6NvkLkqgeFNo-UbOzCjGPVfGS4phTTNl-VZK0uHkDdhaNk2vFoFYTAf0BgQBQ8fBoe7aPnQBQFdgB119RZmdUKVe_xXk0tjF9UxyrQnWGihzDVCfvSI0BVf1m5w/s400/115_3984.JPG" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Birthday present to myself! :)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
Well. This is it! 3 more days until I depart for this great big adventure the Lord has waiting for me!! I was fortunate enough to be able to meet the marvelous Mihelcic clan today in Altoona and spend some time with them before my departure, and as I was meandering around the mall with Katie we stopped in the Hallmark store so I could see if anything tickled my fancy, since I had a 20% off birthday coupon! And to my surprise, this is what I happened to find sitting out of eye level on a shelf halfway back the store! I saw it and thought "Oh my gosh, that is absolutely perfect. The Lord SO knows I'm going to need His definite reminders, especially in this first week!" So I bought it to put right smack dab on my dresser in NJ, so that I can be reminded of this wonderful promise from Him constantly! I just love it!!<br />
<br />
As my final days at home before grad school begins come to a close, I'm finding it difficult to be peaceful about the entire thing. I feel almost like I've wasted my summer. You know how it is when all of a sudden things are coming to a close before you feel ready! I've had an amazing summer at home. It started out rocky because my plans weren't congruent with His plans for me, and I wasn't recognizing that, but once I was able to live in that, summer just seemed to fly right by. I got to spend so much needed time with my family, friends, and just with myself. Though with 3 days left to pack completely, re-organize, clean, study, and sing I just feel like I've no time at all! Especially in regards to singing and studying..... I know it's my fault. I dropped the ball as far as truly preparing myself for placement exams/hearings & auditions. And I know, I've no excuse... I don't expect any miracles here, especially since I've been out of schooling and teaching for the past whole year. My voice is nothing that I expect it to be and my music history and theory skills? HAH! At this point I'm going to have to beg them to take me into all of the remedial classes without the thought of kicking me out and sending me right back to where I came from! Yes, I'm extremely nervous. But the conclusion I have come to is this - I know I need remedial classes because I know I need to desperately brush up on my music history and theory. It's been 2 years since I've had any music history and 3 since theory! Oh and I know I'm going to need to take languages to meet the requirement since I didn't take any in undergrad so I'm not even thinking twice about that placement exam! :) And I'm praying Dr. Hastings and Dr. Peavler taught me enough about diction, rather that I absorbed all that they taught me and that everything I learned is still in there somewhere!! Oh, boy.<br />
<br />
I guess where I'm going with this is I have about 7,000 placement exams next week which are going to make me feel completely inadequate and absolutely make me doubt every single second about whether I really deserve to be at such a prestigious voice school beginning my graduate studies. Especially since I know that it's very likely I will end up in every remedial class offered! Though, at this point, I honestly think that would probably be a good thing. So I can become as knowledgeable as they feel I should be about the content and be prepared for the rest of my studies! When it all comes down to it, what I've come to realize through all the anxiety, the fears, and the frustrations of not having spent time preparing as much as I know I should have is that I am who I am, I know what I know, and obviously they saw something promising, some kind of potential, in me when I auditioned. Otherwise, they never would have given me such an amazing opportunity to enter their school! I'm just scared of letting them down, of making a fool of myself, and in simple terms - of not being seen as good enough after these placement exams. Really, of not being good enough ever.<br />
<br />
The comforting news I've come to absolutely rely on in light of this? That it doesn't matter what I do, how I succeed or don't in these placement exams, or what they might think of me going in. It simply does not matter, because whether they recognize it or not, Christ qualifies me in all of it! He is the reason that I was even offered such an amazing opportunity, with an amazing package including a scholarship and an assistantship to boot! When I struggled and struggled and struggled to find a place to live, and thought this was all going to fall through at the last minute because I had nowhere to live, He more than answered my prayers by completely providing a place that I could never have dreamed better for me! He has followed through on every single part of the journey so far - He's gotten me accepted to WCC, gotten me financial assistance, and provided me with a place to live for the first year. How can I be so selfish to not even recognize, no matter what the circumstances or what anyone else may think of me by a silly placement exam score or through their own first impressions, that the Lord is completely and earnestly still carrying me there, leaving me absolutely no reason to doubt Him or His goodness! He qualifies me to be "good enough" - rather to be MORE than good enough! Even for somewhere like Westminster Choir College. I am loving this Scripture right now, especially its relevance to the struggles I'm facing:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><b>We pray that you'll have the strength to stick it out over the long haul—not the grim strength of gritting your teeth but the glory-strength God gives. It is strength that endures the unendurable and spills over into joy, thanking the Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us. - Colossians 1:11-12, The Message</b></i></div>
<i><br />
</i><br />
<i>"The Father who makes us strong enough to take part in everything bright and beautiful that He has for us."</i> How can I doubt that it's going to be so, so good? Regardless of how I do on these placement exams! As much as I fear it, I honestly doubt they're going to kick me out if I fail every placement exam and have to take all of the remedial classes. There have to be others who are in the same boat as me! And honestly for their sake, I pray that they literally are in the same boat as me - the boat where Jesus is Lord, qualifying me and freely giving me the strength I need to make it through all of this!!<br />
<br />
Long story short: I'm scared to death and feel completely unprepared, but have come to realize that living in the fear and fright is living outside of the Lord's peace in knowing that His Perfect Provision, the fact that my times are in HIS hands - that He has only the absolute best waiting for me!<br />
<br />
So, here I go!! I've got a lot to do and only 3 days to accomplish it all. :) I'm so looking forward to being able to bring each and every one of you on this journey with me through this blog!! I've already got my camera charged and ready to go, so that you can also see it for yourself from the very beginning! Thank you for being willing to share this whole new exciting chapter of my life with me. :)<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><i><u><b>Trust God</b>, you are </u><b><u>exactly</u></b><u> where you are meant to be!</u></i></span>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-7835044927642164782011-07-19T23:27:00.001-04:002012-01-31T21:29:09.749-05:00I will be with you every step of the way...Isn't it easy to think that we know better than God? I know I certainly do! I like to think that I know the answer to all my problems, and if I can just get whoever to listen to me that I can solve the equation with my personal knowledge! That if I do this today, I'll stop hurting. If I do this tomorrow, I'll be thinner. Or as of late, if I communicate with this person at the right time, I will finally find an apartment in Princeton!<br />
<br />
Due to some personal reasons, in light of recent events, I no longer have the housing plans that I originally had thought were meant to be a few weeks ago. And it's near the end of July. In approximately a month, my graduate orientation will begin, and I will need somewhere to live! Somewhere with rent that will not make me unable to eat for the rest of my life, and somewhere that just feels right. And though I had all that lined up, I now know that it was not the place the Lord has waiting for me. Even though I felt like at the time it was right, and that was the place - it had to be, right? Turns out that again, I thought I knew better than Him. Again.<br />
<br />
My Mom and I just spent 4 days in Princeton, looking at apartments, touring the campus, and possibly more importantly than the rest, checking out a church that I felt that the Lord was leading me to. The whole time we were there, I just felt so anxious, so nervous about this. Am I really doing what He wants me to do? Going where He wants to take me? I could've spent the summer interviewing for various jobs around the state that I was interested in, I could've spent time working to start paying off the debt I've already accrued. Instead, I am going to grad school and applying for even more loans than I ever would've imagined. And yet, in the midst of it all, I find myself coming back to the words that the Lord whispered to my heart months ago when again, I was fretting about the whole situation.. I couldn't believe that this was right - that I was going to Westminster Choir College, that my dreams seemed to just seamlessly fall into place. Then I started worrying about going somewhere new, starting all over again, especially when I had just become so comfortable at an amazing church filled with so many wonderful people who sincerely loved the Lord and inspired me so much that I can't even begin to explain it entirely. What if this isn't right? No, it feels right.... so what if I get there and nobody likes me? What if I really can't do this? It's so far away, how can I be that far away from my family, from my Indiana family, and really succeed? Am I honestly good enough to be working on my masters THERE? Really? And as I was sitting there in my room that night, frustrated, anxious, nervous, scared, all rolled up into one, as clear as day I felt the Lord whisper to me, <b>"Do you honestly not believe that I won't be with you every step of the way? That I would send you there and leave you alone?" </b>... Whoa. Okay, Lord. Thank you. Wow.<br />
<br />
And yet I have let these fears and frights creep back into my mind the past few days, trying to find solutions that would help ease the anxiety, to help find the perfect apartment. The most amazing part is that, even though I most certainly have doubted His goodness, He still wants nothing more than to reassure me that literally, He's got my back! I felt so defeated today when I learned that the apartment that I believe is the one that Mom and I toured isn't available until a week after I need to move in, that all I could do is sit staring at my email in disbelief crying - what was I doing wrong? How could this have happened? I thought this was the one! It took a gentle reminder from Mary today that "God knows what you need, and He LOVES you and supplies all your needs," to really remind myself that I'm missing out on the best part of it all. Instead of living in the frustrations, fears, and frights of it all, I should be living in the amazing peace that the Lord loves me so much that He has and will continue to supply every single thing I need, no questions asked. After all, I literally would not have gotten into such an amazing school if it were not for Him! So who am I to think that I won't find the perfect apartment, I won't have the money to pay for it, I won't succeed in the difficult studies to come, or that I won't find a new family to share my time in Princeton with? Because the Lord says that He has the perfect apartment for me, He has the financial assistance planned for me that I require, He will see that I am able to focus and study and devote my time to my education successfully, and He has an amazing family waiting for me with open arms. Who am I to argue and to think that I know better? All because I'm being selfish, convinced that it should all come together in my time? I think not. All happens in HIS perfect timing! "<b>I will be with you every step of the way</b>." What an awesome reminder that the Lord will see me through every second of my time the next two years as I begin to pursue these graduate studies! And through every second of my time preceding the beginning of my schooling! I am constantly in awe of just how good God is, ALL of the time, whether I recognize it fully or not. And when I am in need of a reminder, I will just stand fast on His Word: Matthew 6:25-34 (Thank you again, Mary!) "<i>Therefore I tell you, stop being perpetually uneasy (anxious and worried) about your life, what you shall eat or what you shall drink; or about your body, what you shall put on. Is not life greater [in quality] than food, and the body [far above and more excellent] than clothing? Look at the birds of the air; they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father keeps feeding them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life? And why should you be anxious about clothes? Consider the lilies of the field and learn thoroughly how they grow; they neither toil nor spin. Yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his magnificence (excellence, dignity, and grace) was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and green and tomorrow is tossed into the furnace, will He not much more surely clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear? For the Gentiles (heathen) wish for and crave and diligently seek all these things, and your heavenly Father knows well that you need them all. But seek (aim at and strive after) first of all His kingdom and His righteousness (His way of doing and being right), and then all these things taken together will be given you besides. So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.</i>" (Amplified)<br />
<br />
I will let you know as soon as I know about what is to come with the apartment that I found, which is a 10 minute walk from campus! It is only $725/month, which - while that's insanely expensive, for downtown Princeton that's an amazing price for everything included, all utilities! As it is right now, I can't move in until September 3, which means that I may have to pay to stay in a hotel from the 29th of August until then so that I can take my placement exams, be there for orientation, etc. But! If that's what it's to be, then that's what the Lord will provide for me for. I cannot spend one second longer fretting about the money for that week, if that's to be the case. Better yet, I choose not to worry one second longer, and instead choose to live in the truth that the Lord is my PROVIDER!<br />
<br />
Here are a few snapshots from Momma and I's trip to Princeton! :)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGwYlqdLXtNXSMZ3gWJ7ICalN1oGkj3dk8fe5J_jElvDrJaxym2tiFLR4PR8t9hhV4SI9E1Kt63TK5YlPm7xqIcdda6IjXoWzuV2FeSvWDBYVspsocGnGiVJBQdSueuQT_0W-jbaNqisg/s1600/115_3421.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDGwYlqdLXtNXSMZ3gWJ7ICalN1oGkj3dk8fe5J_jElvDrJaxym2tiFLR4PR8t9hhV4SI9E1Kt63TK5YlPm7xqIcdda6IjXoWzuV2FeSvWDBYVspsocGnGiVJBQdSueuQT_0W-jbaNqisg/s400/115_3421.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Momma and I on campus!! It was the first time she saw it!! :)</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHuaOAnFLXybUw_IEv-mUUrcBT3MDLD_lEAvs6UhiL7rpXxiOdPzEYqMIQBmcgxNnclu4OCI_uc02eP-tBKZg_C2J9F1I7fxv3ELnZ6iT6cxNDQuei8mbAmL1HQ3__LGbrOKTTLj4RzPQc/s1600/115_3429.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHuaOAnFLXybUw_IEv-mUUrcBT3MDLD_lEAvs6UhiL7rpXxiOdPzEYqMIQBmcgxNnclu4OCI_uc02eP-tBKZg_C2J9F1I7fxv3ELnZ6iT6cxNDQuei8mbAmL1HQ3__LGbrOKTTLj4RzPQc/s400/115_3429.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
This is absolutely BEAUTIFUL! I love it!</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyk-VBTvIO4JXfL2mqSC40APikrkjuCE-L_AiGI3VQE33fCKSHtNw2C1u7xwImetJQAAuk3heoFqq8xGWatEBVO82VnLIJ6CWkOb4aYloKkoFgLzUA_QkrhJW1k0a8YJSKsPpZdaaGSQkc/s1600/115_3436.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyk-VBTvIO4JXfL2mqSC40APikrkjuCE-L_AiGI3VQE33fCKSHtNw2C1u7xwImetJQAAuk3heoFqq8xGWatEBVO82VnLIJ6CWkOb4aYloKkoFgLzUA_QkrhJW1k0a8YJSKsPpZdaaGSQkc/s400/115_3436.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Me! Hanging out in the Quad!</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPOoLAv5bB7SmXAuThLcpeESZeyvPFtH-Pv8OAY0nTNhT6nTzgyeZVq1JLSB05bWdif2_mYMvDk_7nq2hmUmOKPNrBniRWAYM4SpXCBh9zffXvKV7_l6do2uebGGrtr5pGf7W9IHqXJO2-/s1600/115_3439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiPOoLAv5bB7SmXAuThLcpeESZeyvPFtH-Pv8OAY0nTNhT6nTzgyeZVq1JLSB05bWdif2_mYMvDk_7nq2hmUmOKPNrBniRWAYM4SpXCBh9zffXvKV7_l6do2uebGGrtr5pGf7W9IHqXJO2-/s400/115_3439.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Williamson Hall! Part of the original campus left standing. </div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfNkflmIf8wBjaLyP3X0zyDv1tGYwfemhK0tZlu7FJEsYr0DymrJUucjh4wF6RF3_oE0EpQhbxooteonLjCZGS4911XcAQ19x3Jl-1Aa9iqEqwvEDcXGf2lkNm0Nj3c_aha-tNy14xeHJu/s1600/115_3482.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfNkflmIf8wBjaLyP3X0zyDv1tGYwfemhK0tZlu7FJEsYr0DymrJUucjh4wF6RF3_oE0EpQhbxooteonLjCZGS4911XcAQ19x3Jl-1Aa9iqEqwvEDcXGf2lkNm0Nj3c_aha-tNy14xeHJu/s400/115_3482.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Sporting my new fleecie that I got on sale for $5!</div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOrinbGXYbfcV1C9-ZITcSS1olTqGzaFNf8FKg-fC0ZbsUN8GWX-ASQC7l1QoNVKKeV087RZV4OkIYZn5Lb4uOpu2FEkbkvo6N9IEznCfOkm0wKc3oR2vjEEYkvr-3n1D5IzmUoxubKSCl/s1600/115_3506.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOrinbGXYbfcV1C9-ZITcSS1olTqGzaFNf8FKg-fC0ZbsUN8GWX-ASQC7l1QoNVKKeV087RZV4OkIYZn5Lb4uOpu2FEkbkvo6N9IEznCfOkm0wKc3oR2vjEEYkvr-3n1D5IzmUoxubKSCl/s400/115_3506.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
One of my favorites! I am so blessed that I got to spend this trip with my Momma, and that I finally got to share with her where the Lord is taking me! <3 </div>Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7850142714270392742.post-39275789730957652632011-06-28T22:18:00.001-04:002013-05-07T16:57:08.595-04:00Let's be still and see what God has up His sleeve...Well, here it is. Aunt Jackie told me a few months ago that I should start a blog that I could keep specifically to document the next few years (for anyone who wants to follow!) as I move to New Jersey to begin pursuing graduate studies! After pondering it for the last few months, I thought it would be a neat idea! Clearly I found it very intriguing, as I've spent the last oh I don't know.. 2 hours maybe? .. playing with the background, the text, the look of the blog, etc. And wouldn't you know it, it got me thinking that it's not just how my blog looks that I fuss over, but it's how I look on the outside, how I think another might perceive my life.. and isn't that just how it usually is? We spend so much time fussing over how we look to this person, or how we look in this situation, that most of the time we forget to spend time truly focusing on what matters most - not how we look on the outside, but how we look on the inside and WHO we should be focusing on!<br />
<br />
I especially started to think about this idea today as I had to answer 5 questions pertaining to my voice teacher selection for grad school. I got an email with a big word document attached that had a letter about the proper procedures for answering these questions and so on and so forth. These were the questions:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>1) Do you wish to study with a male teacher?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>2) Do you wish to study with a female teacher?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>3) Do you wish to study with a voice part similar to your own? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>4) What type of teacher do you want? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>5) Who are your top five choices?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><br />
</i></div>
Immediately, I hopped on the phone and texted my friend Katie who got both her undergrad and grad degrees at Westminster Choir College (to be referred to from now on as WCC) because I just knew that she would be able to tell me how to answer these, who to request for my top 5 choices for teachers, etc. Then I sat there for literally the better part of an hour agonizing over how to answer these questions the "right" way - which way would make me look best in writing? (Back to that fussing again!) Eventually, these are the answers I came up with:<br />
<br />
<i>1) Do you wish to study with a male teacher? </i>No preference<br />
<i>2) Do you wish to study with a female teacher? </i>No preference<br />
<i>3) Do you wish to study with a voice part similar to your own? </i>It would be nice, however it is not an absolute "must-have" as far as I'm concerned.<br />
<i>4) What type of teacher do you want?</i> I wish to study with a teacher who first and foremost creates a caring atmosphere in which to work. A teacher who equips the singer with the tools necessary to develop their voice and potential far beyond what the singer ever thought capable. A teacher who will see that unique potential from the beginning and push me, as the singer, and encourage me to never be satisfied with singing like another, but to embrace my own color, my own voice, and at all times let my individual characteristics shine. Most importantly, I wish to work with a teacher who inspires me to, at all times, remember the joy and the passion of singing that should emanate from every fiber of my being each and every time I take the stage.<br />
<br /><br />
... And as I sat there, re-reading my answers just again agonizing, though now about whether I said the right things or not, the question started coming to mind - are they going to think I'm stupid for answering #4 the way I did? Furthermore, can I REALLY expect to study with a teacher THAT good? Especially after some of the experiences I've already had studying voice?<br />
<br />
The minute that was out of my mouth, the minute it dawned on me - I had spent so much time fussing over how I looked to these people, about how I will be perceived, and had I just taken the time to stop and focus on the Lord I would've realized much sooner that it doesn't matter what I say in answer to these questions! The Lord is going to see to it that I am exactly where He wants me, whether I answer perfectly or not. And that yes indeed I CAN have a teacher that will be able to do all of those things for me and for my voice, because the Lord will make it so! I had felt silly about the way I answered #4 up until this point, and once I had that "aha!" moment I quickly realized that it was totally the Lord showing me just what kind of teacher He has waiting for me as I formed the answer to that question. What a sneaky way of showing me! :)<br />
<br />
The Lord is going to see that I am exactly where He wants me.. what a thought! Every time I think about grad school I am immediately filled with fright and thoughts such as "Oh my gosh, I'm not good enough to be going to WCC ... I mean, it's the BIG LEAGUES!" or "Seriously.. I don't know why they let me in or why they want ME.. I mean come on, it's ME! Really?" ... not to mention I'm thoroughly convinced I'm going to fail all of my placement exams and never get my voice in shape in time.. <b>The Lord is going to see that I am exactly where He wants me.</b> I've seen over the past few weeks that those thoughts are just the enemy trying to mess with me, trying to keep me away from letting the peace of Christ rule in my heart. (thanks for that reminder, Aunt Jackie!) <b>The Lord is going to see that I am exactly where He wants me. </b>How AMAZING is that?! I never for a second even thought I would ever have a CHANCE of getting into Westminster Choir College... I mean come ON. That's one of the top voice schools in the country! Me? No way! ... Not only did I get accepted, but I was accepted for the program of my dreams, offered a $10,000 scholarship, AND an assistantship. And to make the choice even clearer, I wasn't even accepted into Bowling Green State University. Not even accepted. Let's think about those odds! The absolute ONLY way that could've happened is because it is the Lord's desire to have me there. Only way. <b>The Lord is going to see that I am exactly where He wants me. </b>And even beyond that, I don't have to live in the fret and the worry about being "good enough." I am exactly who He says I am, and the best part of it all is that HE is MORE than good enough! He qualifies me! It boggles my mind! I love it! And I love Him!<br />
<br />
The title of this post, "Let's be still and see what God has up His sleeve" came from my wonderful friend Barbara, in reply to one of my frantic emails about moving home sooner than I had anticipated. That line has stuck with me and stayed in the back of my mind since the minute she sent me that email. And so after this extremely long post (I'm sorry! I get carried away! hehe) that's exactly what I'm trying to do... Be still and see what God has up His sleeve. I don't know what you're up to, Lord, but I like it! :)Jessahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17637773354049221806noreply@blogger.com0