The more I thought about this immediately, I went "Oh! Yes I understand, but I've not run from the Lord! I stayed in New Jersey and made it through this year! Go me!" ... ha. ha. ha. Aren't we all just so ready to jump up and down screaming "Look at me! Look at me! I did what You said, Lord! I'm good! Yeah!" - except the thing is we're not. Each and every single one of us is just like Jonah! Some kind of hatred burns in our hearts, after all we're only human. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that yes, while I remained in New Jersey, holding fast and true to the vision the Lord has for my life, I was running inside. Running and running and running until I didn't even realize anymore that I was being so disobedient! This whole time I thought I was being obedient by barely living through this first year of grad school, but truly I was as disobedient as they come! I was just like Jonah! (And still am!)
How often do we hear the Lord whisper on our hearts, "Get up and go..." just like He did with Jonah, and yet we come up with every excuse in the book - from "Well, that wasn't the Lord... I just made it up," to "I don't have the time/money/experience." Which really just makes us think, whether we consciously acknowledge it or not, that we think we know better than God! Now just how absurd is that?! But yet, we continue to choose to live there! At least, I do. Whether I consciously choose to or not, it's just my nasty gross human nature. It's self versus humility! Instead of humbling myself to the point where I say, "Lord, I will put away my self involved nature and my needs and my wants to follow You wholeheartedly and abandon myself into obeying Your Word," I continually fall back into doing my own thing on my own terms.
I'm so excited to be able to take this time this summer and to reflect on why I put up my fists fighting for the entire year, and battled spiritually the Lord in His plan for me - which, all to my dismay, includes two full years of grad school in New Jersey. I know why I continue to fight - my heart and my family remain in Indiana, in the most marvelous town of towns in Pennsylvania, while I am too far away... I've had such a hard time being okay with that fact. I know, it's a funny thing. It's one of those "growing up" things. But I haven't been able to squash the temptation to want to throw in the towel and run away to Indiana! So instead of quieting my selfish self desires, I've let them run rampant on the inside, while on the outside I've "stayed fast to the Lord's call," only to convince myself that I was doing what He wants and demands of me. So! I know what I need to first do to tackle this disobedience in my life!
As they pointed out in the Jonah show at Sight and Sound, we each have our very own Nineveh that we're running from. But what I love the most about the very true story of Jonah, is that it mimics the Gospel in the manner that it is a picture of God doing the impossible... like He likes to do! :) Who could live inside the belly of a great fish for 3 days and nights, without the help of the Lord? And who could be crucified, die, and rise again like Jesus did without the Lord's hand in it? It is amazing to me! It gives me goosebumps just to think about it. I want to know that God - the God of the impossible, who loves me more than I can ever imagine! The God who freely pours out His mercy and grace to such an undeserving people... My soul longs for Him, and nothing else will do! And in my moments of disobedience, I am given yet another opportunity to put away self and to run to Jesus - choosing to stand in faith and trust Him, instead of trusting myself. It's so neat how, a whole lot of thousands of years later, we're all still equally able to identify with Jonah and his story. Because, as the pastor at Mars Hill pointed out, we're all just like Jonah. I wonder if you will join me in learning to put away our selfish desires and choosing instead to cling to Jesus and His truth - and instead of running from Him and His call for our lives, whether we might plant ourselves and our trust in His Word, believing every single word and every single promise, believing He will bless us in our obedience!
What is your Nineveh?
Are you ready and willing to, with the help of the Lord, stop running?
... And instead cling to Jesus?
He said,
“I cried out to the LORD in my great trouble,
and he answered me.
I called to you from the land of the dead,
and LORD, you heard me! You threw me into the ocean depths,
and I sank down to the heart of the sea.
The mighty waters engulfed me;
I was buried beneath your wild and stormy waves. Then I said, ‘O LORD, you have driven me from your presence.
Yet I will look once more toward your holy Temple.’ “I sank beneath the waves,
and the waters closed over me.
Seaweed wrapped itself around my head. I sank down to the very roots of the mountains.
I was imprisoned in the earth,
whose gates lock shut forever.
But you, O LORD my God,
snatched me from the jaws of death! As my life was slipping away,
I remembered the LORD.
And my earnest prayer went out to you
in your holy Temple. Those who worship false gods
turn their backs on all God’s mercies. But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise,
and I will fulfill all my vows.
For my salvation comes from the LORD alone.”
- Jonah 2:2-9, NLT
All of my life, in every season, You are still God... I have a reason to sing! I have a reason to worship! I will bring praise, no weapon formed against me shall remain. I will rejoice, I will declare - God is my victory and He is HERE!
